The Doorway: a panfandom game

The existence of (the now defunct) AskJeeves.com was recently brought to my attention. I was rather intrigued.

Thanks to the wonders of modern convenience, my gentleman has become marginally more self-sufficient which I believe to be the greatest example of scientific and social progress imaginable, even if it comes at my own expense.

For example, now, because Mr. Wooster has taken a shine to waking up the the 'music' of Lady Gaga as emitted from his digital alarm, I am no longer needed to rouse him (most of the time). Poor quality cocktails are now pre-packaged in offensively styled bottles that only require un-capping. Letters are not transferred via electronic device, and thus my duties as mail-deliverer have been reduced (though I still need to hand deliver the vocabulary-rich notes taped to our door regarding Mr. Wooster's early morning/ late evening jazz piano practice).

Regardless, as a man who has always valued self-education and providing aid for others, I would like to reinstate, here, the AskJeeves.Com programme. If anyone has an inquiry about anything, I will research the topic and provide an answer.

There are no subjects which I consider off limits -- in a way, I would like to act as a refugee concierge. My services will go beyond the mere supply of information. For a fee I will also locate and deliver requested objects, clothing, etc. Of course, I must always work around the set schedule of my gentleman, Mr. Wooster, but otherwise I can promise timely, exceptional and unrivalled results.

Thank you Sincerely,

R. Jeeves

After a great expenditure of effort on my part, I've located possible employ for Mr Wooster, my employer who has failed to realise that the cheques he has been supplying me with since my arrival refer to funds in a bank that does not and has never existed.

If you would all be so kind as to visit Brandy's Piano Bar (235 East 84th Street) this evening between the hours of 9PM and 1AM I'm sure you'll find yourself delightfully entertained by the "skilful" playing and "talented" singing of one Mr. Wooster.

There is a tip jar located on the piano. Do be generous, he could stand the encouragement.

Sir,

I received...a telegram this morning. It appears news of your musical mastery has reached America's shores. You have been requested to preform this evening at a well-known establishment. I did take the liberty to inform them, however, that under no circumstances would you be able to preform under such terribly short notice. They were terribly disappointed and I believe they might actually close their doors, under the impression that without having you on their stage there is simply no reason to stay in business.

Shall I prepare your coffee?

Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today.
~Nietzsche