The Doorway: a panfandom game

what

LAYLA MILLER IF YOU ARE BEHIND THIS

OR KNEW ABOUT THIS

AND ARE AROUND

I just need either a lot of aspirin or a lot of whiskey or maybe both.

Does anyone else want to hunt down Stephanie Meyer for creating ridiculous vampires who sparkle?

Just me?

( Filtered to 616 Avengers )
I've been conned into going to prom by my sixteen year old alternate universe son, with a date to be chosen by my eighteen year old ward.

What's going on, how is this my life and how do I fix it?

( Filtered to Jessica Drew )
I know we're not exactly talking right now, but I just wanted to clarify it's not a date. He just made me agree Kate could pick someone for me to go with. It's not anything. I'd much rather be going with you, but that's not really in the cards right now.

FILTERED TO THE AVENGERS (who fought vampires*) + BUCKY BARNES (MCU): [*if your Avenger has been helping to fight the vampires, they're on this! all verses!]

I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for your hard work over the last few days, and to say that on behalf of myself, my team and the city of New York, we appreciate everyone's willingness to lend a hand and work together to protect the city. Bucky and I got one last night, to add to the rest. I doubt the fight's over, so keep your eyes and ears pealed.

If anyone needs me over the next few days, I think you all know how to reach me. In light of yesterday, I'm taking a short break from the network. I'll be around, but I need a moment to myself to clear my head. Thank you for all of your kind words.

Let's take a time out from vampires (team JoLo got two BTW) to appreciate that it's April 30.

And you know what that means.

[Filtered to (616) Avengers + Ben + Johnny Storm, + MCU Avengers + Coulson, no academy kids.]

In case you hadn't heard, there are sparkly vampires on the loose. We need numbers, locations, strengths, and weaknesses. Thus far, it's apparent that they, like most things, are vulnerable to Logan's claws. We don't all have Adamantium skeletons, so what else? What does damage? What doesn't? Do they travel through sewers, alleyways, main streets? Daylight is clearly not an issue for them -- what about other traditional remedies? Is decapitation effective? What about pulverizing their hearts? The more information that we have, the more efficiently that this threat can be addressed.

Engage at your discretion, but be careful and report back regardless of your success. Knowing what doesn't work is crucial to figuring out what does.

[Second filter: Steve Rogers (MCU)]

There are vampires in New York. They're different than the ones we're used to, but we have some experience with this. This will go a lot better if we join forces. Vibranium may be effective where normal metals aren't. Repulsor blasts are certainly going to do some damage. Super-strength is invaluable. SHIELD contacts and disposable money are useful. But I'm going to have to ask you to follow my lead on this one, because the last thing that we need is mixed signals or inter-faction conflict. If you want to command your own squadron, that's fine, so long as you're in sync with our tactics. This has nothing to do with being a better hero or a better man. This is about experience. Are you in?

HEY JEN

So, what's the difference between a prom and a school dance?

[Filtered to Tony (616)]
I can't believe I I have a proposition for you.

FILTERED TO JANET VAN DYNE, JESSICA DREW, WANDA MAXIMOFF, JENNIFER WALTERS, NATASHA ROMANOVA:

Soooo, Jan. How many bodyparts do I need to sell for a Janet van Dyne original prom dress?

FILTERED TO JOHN SHEPARD:

Patrol with me tonight? I'll buy you dinner.

FILTERED TO PETER PARKER (616):

Avenger kids aside, I'm fine with poking our noses in a little deeper if that's what we need to do.

The last thing we need is 100 hands trying to jump in on this because it's now their mission or purpose. It's only going to hurt progress and possibly even send him underground if he thinks he's that threatened.

It's weird being the hothead and saying that, for the record. Can I just punch a few people?

I have gathered that this prom is ever much a party as it is a dance.

I offer my services of magic and mysticism for the event should it be needed. A small payment will be required

I also like to think myself an exception dance partner should the need to practice be necessary!

In the (VERY UNLIKELY) event I turn into a supervillain I have decided on a few things.

• My new code name will be Dr. Heat.
• I'm pretty sure I'll feel obligated to evil laugh multiple times a day.
• I'm trolling the tower for minions.

It never hurts to be prepared.

Great Horror Campout.

FUCK YES.

Okay, so I need:
1) A way to get to L.A. in early June for free. Or at least stupidly cheap. (Hello, people who can fly, I hear L.A. weather is really nice in June!)
2) $150 plus expenses (Should be fine - do you know how many dumb tourists there are in this city? Everyday is fucking Christmas.)
3) A fake I.D. that says I'm 18. I would bullshit my way in without it - I'M SMALL FOR MY AGE, ASSHOLE - but it's required. I know, I know, SHIELD can see this. But you're not actually cops who have to worry about crap like this and it's not like I'm trying to buy a gun or booze here, so please don't get your panties in a twist. LOOK, I even said please.

If anyone wants to help a poor little orphan girl out, you'll pretty much earn cool points forever. If you want to GO with, well, you need to sign a waiver that says you won't pussy out on me. And you need to be at least halfway cool. So I suggest helping with #3, just to be sure.

There's few things more embarrassing than finding out being called "one of a kind" was a sham. Ouch. Not sure when that sting's going to wear off, but sounds like I might have the time to figure it out.

I'm in a weird position here where if I say Avengers Assemble I'm going to get a lot more replies than I'd expect, right? Are we all going to start wearing identity tags? Thing 1 and Thing 2 shirts?

Anyway I'm Tony Stark. Four of a kind and counting.

[Personal]

Two weeks to go.

[End Personal]

[Wanda]

Going to be done with my SHIELD training fairly soon. Rejoice! There should be some kind of celebration, I mean this doesn't happen every day.

[End]

[Scott (616) and Jan (616)]

All right, so let's get to planning this banquet of amazingness. Open to all, or just to people we know and their awkward universal alternates? I'm leaning toward open to anyone interested. It'll better foster relations if we're open and honest about who we are and what we stand for - which is that we're here to help however we can.

[End]

I've already had dinner and yet for some reason I have a hunger for really good tacos. The kind with fajita beef that you can bite into and just savor without the annoying overchewing because it's too stringy and tough. With some cheese and sour cream. Lettuce. Not tomatoes! Taco sauce. Yep, I'm just making myself more hungry. Time to hit that shop down the street.

Shame on whoever put that pot plant sign on the tower. Do you really think a stoner is going to be up to see that before noon? Remember your audience.

Tuesday, arrive in an alternate universe. Wednesday, begin SHIELD training. Thursday, get prodded by none other than Bones McCoy. I did my best to get him to say Dammit, Tony but it didn't work. What a pro. This is the sort of thing I'd get someone else to write home about.

( delivery for Wanda under the cut )

Given our frequent flyers on the network, I think recent discussion in the scientific community might be of note: passengers taking flights during thunderstorms may be exposed to twice the recommended level of gamma radiation. It's been known for-- well, a while, I guess about forty years?- that thunderstorms are capable of generating terrestrial gamma-ray flashes bright enough to blind instruments all the way in outer space. However, there are a lot of factors in place that prevented further official measurement - I mean, you've got the actual storm, being in an aircraft during the storm, and using electrical devices during a storm. It's not the safest research on or off-planet to pull off. All scientists knew was that the level of radiation "was probably not a big deal, but it might be catastrophic". (I... really wish that wasn't a direct quote.)

What scientists have only just discovered is the process behind the burst of gamma-rays. Thunderstorms are apparently capable of producing a rare kind of electrical breakdown (it involves electrons and positrons - antimatter, I mean, of course). The electrons and positrons incite an explosive, if unstable, growth in the number of high-energy particles, ultimately emitting the terrestrial gamma ray flashes while discharging the thundercloud. This process - this flash - moves even faster than regular lightning, and somewhat poetically is referred to as "dark lightning". Very little visible light can be seen from this occurrence, even if radiation levels are spiking.

Passengers can definitely get a dose of that gamma radiation if their luck runs bad. If you're flying through the top of the storm, a nearby strike of dark lightning will produce the radioactive equivalent to about 10 chest x-rays - or the same amount that an average person would experience within a year's time. More disturbingly, if flying near the middle of the storms, the radiation dose could be at least 10 times larger - comparable to some of the largest doses received during medical procedures, roughly equal to a full-body CT scan.

After hearing of this research, I have two reactions: a) I wonder why a superhero hasn't shown up with the name of "Dark Lightning", and b) Well, I guess now I have an excuse for hating flying.


[Edited to Add:] If you fly too much and get an overdose of gamma radiation, statistically, you will not gain superpowers.

Great. I get sucked into an alternative reality, and it isn't even an interesting one. Same old SHIELD hijinks, some old self-righteous insistence on knowing what's "best" in these unpredictable situations. I just have to wonder how long before we've got to pull you out of the fire because you've been focusing on the wrong part of the problem. Again.

Alright, I've got some questions.

1) Why are the other-mes white?
2) How good are doctors and medicine around here? I'm kind of dying of what I've been told is an inoperable brain tumor and I'd really rather not.
3) Where can I find a good cheeseburger?

Since there's other Tony Starks around here you all can call me Antonio. What's up?

I'm going to need some kind of color system for the weird things that happen...

This one might actually take the cake though. I swear, cosmic cubes are never good news.

Clint? T'Challa? I heard you're here. Or...okay. I pestered until someone told me. Is it really just you two? Hank isn't

I also heard there's another me...which is...yeah. Sorry, other-me, but doubles lately haven't been a very good thing. I'm sure you're amazing though. You're me, after all!

Anyway, I'm Jan! It's great to meet everyone.

Welp. Just saw London get blown up. #withJen