The Doorway: a panfandom game

Jenny, you didn't tell us this is the job you were going for. Seems like something is missing, though....

FILTERED TO JAN EMH, CAROL, JESS, JESSICA JONES, WANDA, BOBBI, ORORO, JENNIFER:

Remind me why I thought it was a good idea to get into a relationship with alt!Clint Barton? It's times like these I remember just why I never wanted one with our Clint. What is it about Avengers and superheroes that they can't just speak their minds when it comes to relationships? First Hank, then Clint, and now THIS Cli

As interesting as that science fair was (and easy to follow, thank god), I'm still disappointed at the distinct lack of spiders on display. You had loads of butterflies and bees but like... three spiders? (One of which was dead.) Do people not realize how awesome they are? They work as pest controls especially for the ones that carry disease and destroy crops (they eat mosquitoes.. I fucking hate mosquitoes!). There's even some big enough to eat frogs which helps keep the frog population in check. Their venom can be used for medicinal purposes and all spiders can at least spin silk if not web.

And they're everywhere doing that job... in your building, in swamps, in deserts, in Mount Everest even. And come in all different sizes.

Damn. I should have just set up my booth over there.

Filtered: Ben Reilly

I'm trying to keep my love life simple, but then suddenly the ex pops up and asks 'hey how are things going' which totally throws you off a little.

So how are things on your end?

That awkward moment when you’re too heavy to ride in a crowded elevator and have to power down. #hulkproblems

I had actually been hoping to avoid introductions but I've been told to be polite. I'll probably be running into a few of you or sharing lab space with others as soon as I get settled in.

So, hello. I'm Reed Richards.

I shall soon be moving into Potts Tower, to -assist- floors 7&8. I think I could do a pretty good job of this, but I won't list my credentials. I'll keep them a surprise.

FILTERED TO NICK FURY MCU:

I would like to request to be put on a mission. Deep cover preferred, out of the country. Alone, if possible. Let me recon Kontar Sayed's last few months.

I realize I'm not the Natasha from your world, and you don't have the same level of trust in me, but at this time, I need to be immersed in work.

FILTERED TO 616 AVENGERS & AFFILIATES:

James Bucky is gone.

First off I've been pregaming for the weekend since Wednesday-ish so coherency may vary. With that being said -

I've been sitting on this for a while so I thought it was time for my poll the audience option. Dr. Strange among other very gifted doctor-types have been working on my case (apply now to be considered for the Dream Team) and he gave me a... thing. That's supposed to help.

Supposed to wear this before I go into chemo. Thoughts?

You can say tumor but no mention of the C word is allowed in this post.

So. No say in this relocation whatsoever, then? That’s wonderful.

Can someone please tell me what in Oz’s name is going on? Preferably before I start pulling my hair out and eating it?

London's really taking a beating this year. #summer2013 #fandango #imissthosepaperbags

Okay. That's it. They're all done. Those of you who asked for help with your dresses and suits, I've got them finished. Now for fittings to make sure they're at their snazziest. Schedule with me, and we'll get you looking lovely. Carol, darling, I will need a bit more time for yours, and you will see why.

I always wondered if it was possible to OD on fashion, and nope. Still no answer.

I have a question of utmost importance relevant to all earth humans, especially those familiar with New York.

Where would one go to have a drink on a Friday evenings to have the best chance of speaking with human females who are potentially interested in sexual congress?

Are there locations besides bars that are commonly accepted for this sort of thing?

Apparently Chuck E. Cheese is a picky bastard and requires you to have a kid with you in order to enter. Normally I am without any kids at my disposal, but given recent events it looks like I might know a few. Anyone interested in a field trip? First ten tokens are on me!

For those that don't know what it is, think of it like a child casino complete with a ball pit. Or google it. You know how.

There's a lot of people who like to abuse the Carl Sagan quote about all of us being made out of stars - what they mean is, specifically, that the composition of the human body is made up of stardust. It's supposed to be optimistic; it's all "look how cosmic and inspirational even our body's make-up is" and I guess that's fine for some people, but it's one of those "everyone is special" impasses, because if it makes you feel better that you're made out of stardust, you should probably think of all the terrible people who were also made out of stardust, like Pol Pot and whoever killed Anastasia Nikolaevna and the evil capitalist pigs who invented Betty Crocker (she's not real; I just found that out today. Isn't that terrible?). Anyway, stardust is just every freakin' element ever on the periodic table except hydrogen, so--

Wait, storytime - I mean, let's tell a story, you know, about hydrogen. Hydrogen clumping together plus helium plus a lot of light makes a star. Elements are made out of what happens when that star explodes via a supernova, so all this "we're made out of stardust" business gets even nastier when you consider you're basically just covered in dead star guts, the natural consequences of the supernova, which, I don't understand why they didn't just call it a fantasticnova and the little ones averagenovas, but someone needed a reason to justify the gold star stickers they just bought their stock in I guess, or the scientific community was being chipper that day.

And that's my story about hydrogen.

Anyway, stardust makes up about 40% of the human body, given that we're on average composed of about 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms, and I am not making that number up, it's a real number, only I don't know how to say it and I don't know how to make the "to the nth power" on the keyboard right now, but I assure you that it's real. Stardust (or star guts) is the heaviest of elements in our body, so on average, you and Pol Pot have about 93% of your total mass as stars.

Also, I want to hit someone just to say I did. Who's ready?

i'd just figured out how the card worked

AND NOW THIS

HONESTLY TONY YOU4VCE BEEN HOLDING BACK ON ME

HAVE YOU

FILTERED TO AVENGERS, X-MEN & FANTASTIC 4 (ALL VERSES):

Everybody check in and confirm you're the age you're supposed to be. Or not. Either way, everyone check in. I'm looking at a few of you in particular

Gas station dining. #romance

With a flower for the lady of course.

[Filtered to Shepard, Tony (616)]

Do you know what a blazer is?

[Second Filter: 616 Avengers]

( Cut for picture! )

In some ways I like being the only one from my world here. If they're only going to send one representative it makes sense that it would be the best looking one of the bunch.

But it's about time you spit out another one, Tesseract. I'm pulling for Rhodey.

May the Ancestors guide us through this bizarre chain of events, and may we laugh with them when they come to pass.

[Private Log: Day 1]
Oh Goddess, what new test is this?