The Doorway: a panfandom game

FILTERED TO NEW GIRL PEEPS:

Not trying to alarm anyone, but Cece is gone. They came to take her stuff, and I've got to do some paperwork if I want any of it back. I may have lied about what was actually Cece's and got them to take away bad decisions I've made clothing-wise things we didn't need.

FILTERED TO NEW GIRL PEEPS:

You guys forgot about my birthday. I'll give Cece a pass, since she was unwilling to help a guy out and give a guy a condom and pointed out we don't really know each other well enough for that, but what the hell, man? What sort of friends do I even have?


Oh yeah. Nick and Schmidt. I think I answered my own question.

Sooooo, can we talk about the stupidly large roadkill in the middle of a subway in Midtown? Because uh. Yeah. That happened.

FILTERED TO JESSICA DAY:

Tell me not to talk to him. Please. Seriously, Jess. I need you to smack me if I even THINK about talking to him. Or showing up at his apartment naked. Or doing something as equally stupid as both of those.

FILTERED TO SCHMIDT:

Hi.

FILTERED TO JESSICA DAY (pt 2):

Damnit Jess. You know I have no self-control.

I miss my yarn.

In case you were wondering where I found that. I didn't just look up alpaca puns. Not that I wouldn't look up alpaca puns, because puns are funny. I'm going to a craft store.

FILTERED TO NEW GIRL PEOPLE:

The Mojo Man is back in business, baby.

I just have one question.

ARE THE VAMPIRES GONE???

FILTERED TO NICK MILLER:

Soooo. Jess.

FILTERED TO NEW GIRL CREW:

Okay, Schmidt. We all need to talk about this.

FILTERED TO SIERRA GROUP:

Hey guys, I realize a bunch of you are out sick, so here's what we're going to do about homework. Don't worry about any of the writing, we can handle that when everyone's gotten better. If you're not sick, you can read pages 121-126 in the English textbook to get ahead. Hopefully, most of you will be better on Monday, and we can have a day of catching up.

Check in here to let me know how you're feeling.

FILTERED TO NEW GIRL PEEPS:

Cece, are you still feeling sick? Anyone else coming down with it?

You haven't lived until a small child has projectile vomited all over you.

This was not flu related. Just small child related. In case anyone was about to panic about me bringing germs into the apartment. Thank GOD being a nanny pays well in New York City, because that would not have been worth it otherwise.

Okay, I didn't want to admit it all day yesterday because I had a job for the week, but

I feel like hell. Literal hell. The fire and brimstone and uggggh

Keep away, if you know what's good for you. Save yourselves.

why won't the thermostat let me crank it up to 95?


if anyone smells smoke there is no cause for alarm. i will be constructing a small fire in my room with which to heat a number of large smooth stones, but everything is under control. i work for the department of parks and recreation.

i'm not sick.

Best of luck to those of you who are sick. If you're on my floor, I've left sanitary wipes and anti-bacterial hand lotions at the points of entry and exit so that you do not leave your germs behind. Please use them even if you are not ill so that we can ensure that the sickness does not spread. In the case of the flu, sharing is never caring. Don't spread it to your friends.

To be silent; to be alone. All the being and the doing, expansive, glittering, vocal, evaporated; and one shrunk, with a sense of solemnity, to being oneself, a wedge-shaped core of darkness, something invisible to others.

[Carol, Mara, Jessica]

Pleasure doing business with you this past week, ladies.

Soooo, we've established that this place is PRETTY MUCH Vegas, right? Like that saying "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" applies here? NO ONE back home knows what's going on here. It seems like it's pretty much just left to our own morals.

Why aren't more people playing the "when in Rome" card?

When you don't have a job, money disappears really fast. Booze is expensive when your roommate won't get you free drinks at the bar he works at.

If I'm gonna be here for a while, I need a job. I played pro basketball in Europe and I know sports radio, and I'm a good manny. I bet there are tons of moms here in New York who'd kill for a good manny.

I will be back. Wicked calls my name.

Sometimes a man just needs to listen to Celine Dion and feed squirrels stale pizza crust. Is that so wrong?

[Schmidt, Winston, Jess and Cece]
I still think a fake wake is a ridiculous idea, but I’ll do it. If anyone mentions racetracks or side deals I am punching you in the throat. Okay, I'm not going to actually punch you, but I won't be pleased.

OMG YOU GUYS, you have to see these!

( Cut, not filtered - for images! )

I think Winston is my favorite.

I have GOT to get off the internet. But at least I haven't started looking at the porn. No doubt, the guys have already loaded up their computers.

( Cut for Spoilers for 2.19 of New Girl. Mild for the post, but who knows about comments. Also, filtered to Cece and Winston. )

It's good to know that in any world there is a need for bartenders. I knew dropping out of law school would pay off in the long run. I'll be at Sam's if anyone needs me.

Just in case anyone missed Schmidt's invitation to our party tonight:

LAST CALL FOR AN INTRODUCTION TO BEING A TRUE AMERICAN.

Tonight. Room 910. 8 pm. 21 and up only because I'm not about to get arrested in New York City. This face was not meant for prison. Ladies, bring your beautiful selves. Gentlemen, bring beer to share and something that we can stand on, or you'll be sitting in the corner with Nick all night, wishing you were a part of this much awesome.