The Doorway: a panfandom game

Is it bad to say I want a normal (as normal as can be in this world) birthday? Especially since I turn 18 in less than 2 weeks.

Uhh, why do I get mobbed by people with cameras every time I leave my apartment?

And I finally got a salon job! I start at I Salon on Monday. They said my face would bring business in, whatever that means. But anyway, I get to work on people again! I hope they let me bring my wand...

SHIT SNACK AND CRACKERS. GODFUCKINGDAMNIT.

The fans of this supposed "show" can officially go DIAF.

GAAH.

Not that I'm not complaining about the free money and the luxurious accommodations, but how about somebody bothering to tell me what's really going on?

Anyone else catch that moon last night? It was so big I thought it might fall out of the sky right on my motorbike.

[James, Lily, Remus, Andromeda, Tonks, Marlene, Dorcas, Harry]
I don't know about anyone else, but I've been feeling a disconnect lately. Dinner? On me? Not in my apartment because then I would have to clean it and cleaning charms aren't my best.

I'm in food-poisoning hell.

Someone come kill me?

Call me old-fashioned or too much a wizard, but I honestly forget to turn this thing on sometimes. Rest assured, you lot, that I have yet to fall off the face of the Earth, but brace yourselves: I, James Potter, have been working, and I mean that in a "I'm getting paid for what I do at the embassy" and not in a "planning to drop some random furry creatures in the halls to wreck havoc" way. [...] And by that, Ms. Potts, I mean that it wasn't me.

[ FILTER: SIRIUS BLACK ]

I can't get the spell for the map quite right, so I need your brain. I know it's still in there somewhere.

Well. Hagrid certainly didn't teach us about these creatures. One just stole the pizza slice I had on a plate on my coffee table. Another ran off with one of my new shoes. New York is wicked.

Wow. Gremlins. What the hell.

Man, those little gremlin things are quick. And boy, can they jump. And they fight mean. And they have very sharp teeth. And claws.

Um, Anders? I may have been bitten. And be bleeding. A little. Just a little. Not, you know, huge gut wound bleeding to death bleeding. Just small gremlin bite bleeding. And maybe some clawing. But only a little.

I'm sure she's back where she belongs and putting the fear into every living, breathing creature, but Mindy's been swooped back up to her world. Just passing that along.

I go outside for five bleeding minutes. FIVE. And this happens? Waking up would be good. Yes. Godric knows this has to be a dream because no reality is this brilliantly complex and unbelievable.

They say I know people here. I'm Lavender Brown. And who in the world is this Sookie, Snooky, Snacky person I'm supposed to be living with?

Who: Lavender Brown and Bridget Jones
When: 12 March 2013
Where: Café Grumpy Chelsea
What: Random run in
Rating: PG

( I never knew my fan base was so large )

A professional makeup artist posts these (with permission) on her Statigram: Porn Actresses and Models Without Their Makeup

Things I learned from this article:
- I do not look any worse without makeup than most other women
- I want my own personal lighting crew
- I should probably pay more attention to my eyebrows when I do my makeup
- It's time for more ink

Things I learned from the comments to this article:
- The vast majority of men who say "I think girls are soooooo much prettier without makeup" are either liars or have no idea when a woman is wearing makeup

I am angry. I am angry and I have been for some time. I came here against my will as all of us have and I did not fuss or weep or demand to be returned to my home. I have sat here complacently waiting for something to happen that would validate this turn of events. And for nigh on 6 weeks I have done so.

And I am tired of it.

I am tired of pandering to your laws and your customs. I am not of the Atani. I am not mortal and my time in this world is not so short in years. I am called Nelyafinwë Maitimo Russandol and I am the eldest son of Nerdanel and Curufinwë Fëanáro, Crown Prince of the Noldor.

I am of the Eldar Race.

And I refuse to lose anymore of myself in name of assimilation. In name of adapting. For what have you done to aid me or my brothers and cousins to ease us of our upset? To what lengths have you gone to understand our plight or our sorrows, or our histories?

I admit that you have given us much in name of charity for a place to sleep and for that I shall be grateful.

But you demand of us to get used to this world because where we come from no longer matters. You demand we change ourselves and become like you instead of learning of us. You provide us lessons to learn of New York City and this 21st century but where are the history lessons of our people? Of the other people who come here? You demand of us to lose ourselves for sake of your nation's benefit. And for what?

That we might shut up and sit down and not cause you problems? I am tired of being told to behave and to adapt to your world. I'll not become one of you for the sake of the protestors on the streets.

To the Void with you! May the Everlasting Dark take you all.

And aye, may it take you swiftly! So that my brothers and I might clean this world of the filth you littered it with.

I feel very...old here.

Is it bad that I hate them for leaving me again? I finally had a chance to get to know them and now they're gone.

I got fired. FIRED. Fired for standing up for another employee. No one treats people like that, no one!

We remake drinks all the time, but no, it wasn't good enough. Nothing would have been good enough. He's lucky he left walking out with his family jewels intact. It's a good thing they were able to hold me back from that man.

Stupid job. I don't care, whatever. Alex McGee can shove my apron up his you know what. He doesn't know what an awesome employee he lost.

Fruity human drinks will be the end of me.

FILTERED TO GARRUS:

Sooo. Apparently this happened?

I feel like this is a conversation I should have remembered.

Two and a half hours ago I was coloring a client's hair. It was a normal day (besides the fact that the sun was actually shining in March), and now here I am in a different time zone, a different country, and a different universe? AND IT'S 2013????? Seriously???? HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE!? Like... huh? And I think my roommate is some kind of ninja. Excuse me, what? Bloody hell.

They told me I would know people here. I'm Lavender Brown. Lavender Scarlet Brown. Some of you might know me from Hogwarts? Or might have come to my salon Gods and Goddesses in Hogsmeade? Hi?

Am I working this thing right?