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Everything about today sucks. Your coffee's overpriced, and it's not even that good. People are assholes. Does no one say hello here? Your snow is slush and makes everyone drive even worse, which I didn't think was possible at all. I've got this pounding headache, and your chemists charge an arm and a leg for something like aspirin. Somebody just stake me already.
FILTERED TO SIMON TAM, TONY GATES:
FILTERED TO SIMON TAM, TONY GATES:
Probably useless, but do you guys need anyone who cleans up the shit you don't want to? I can do paperwork and other things. I'm just used to working in that environment, and I thought it would be better to be around people who aren't weirded out by the thought of a vampire wheeling their granny around.
I don't have a CV here, but I've a show, and you can see that I actually had the job I'm asking for in it.