The Doorway: a panfandom game

Bla bla bla snow.

Is anyone else here "from" a cartoon? I'm just asking for kicks and giggles.

For those of you who don't know me, which is probably a lot of you, though I'm gathering that we're all known somewhere at some time even if that time is not now. Um.

Anyway, my name is Ned and I'm a Pie Maker. I make pies. It's what I do. I had a pie shop back home called The Pie Hole, as in shut your, but don't because mine are delicious.

Anyway, I know many of you probably bake, and that's good, but I DO specialize in pie and baking pies is the only thing that makes me happy here without Chuck so...for the moment I will be baking pies and selling them wholesale to any interested restaurants and shops. I'll also have a number available for request from the general public. I can bake pretty much any kind you can possibly think of, though fruit pies are my specialty.

Er, that's enough about me. But if you have questions and would like to talk pie, I'm here to indulge you.

Filtered to Pepper Potts

I was told you might be able to assist me in finding a new location for my pie shop, and figuring out what sorts of paper work I need to file. I miss my shop, I need to have one again. Thank you for your time.

Filtered to Charlotte Charles

I know you're not here, but I like to pretend you are at night. I put my hand on the wall and pretend you are on the other side, like when you were living in Olive's apartment. I wish you were here.

It's snowing. And there are no bullymongs to throw cars at me or try to eat my gun. And I am resisting the urge to booby-trap the coffee maker.

SNOWMAN TARGET PRACTICE TIME!

[Filtered to Avengers (MCU)]

Friends,

If you wish to receive your gifts from Asgard, please come see me. Barton, I have acquired a bow for you, as requested. I know not how it will suit you, as it is enchanted and cannot fire your odd assortment of missiles. Rogers, I have a golden drinking stein for you. It belonged to Baldur, whom shares many of your qualities. He wanted you to have it. Stark, I have merely returned with a measure of Uru, as I thought you were like to study the metal. Widow, I confess I am ill-suited to divine your preferences, but I am knowledgeable with weaponry. Therefore, I have returned with a dagger for you. It is my hope that you enjoy it. Banner. I knew not what to acquire for you. Inspiration struck nearly at the moment of departure - I would like you to keep the communication device to study and do with as you will.

To move forward in topics, per my previous request, I would like to suggest moving forward with this plan now that the Earth holidays have been put behind us.

First, are we able to compile a roster of misplaced alternate realm Avengers? From that, I believe we would each be able to sponsor a few of them. To act as a mentor, perhaps.

I believe if this is successful, we could then look outside of the Avengers for more possibilities. There are a rather large number of immensely powered individuals appearing through the Tesseract and I believe it would be in our best interests to give them a proper distraction before they begin to search for ways to entertain themselves. I do not wish to spend my days cowing the refugees if that can be avoided.

-Thor

[End Filter]

Misplaced refugees of the Tesseract, how fare you in this realm? Is this New York to your liking? Might there be additional needs that are going unfulfilled? I seek to gain your honest opinions, so that I may be of assistance if able.

I wish to apologize on behalf of the people of this Earth for your treatment as of late. They are frightened and confused, and it is not uncommon to lay that fear at the feet of those they do not understand. Truly, they are a good people and they will come to appreciate sharing their world with you. It will come with time, though I cannot promise it will always be pleasant. Perhaps the Captain and I can launch a conference of press in order to address concerns and assuage the misunderstandings.

It is hard to believe that I have been in this city as long as I have. It has been nearly two months since I arrived here. The city has its benefits, I suppose, and there are a good number of interesting people here; I have enjoyed speaking with several of them.

But I loathe the distance between the city and the forest. And not just the forest, but the wildness of the sea, the freedom of the meadows. Birdsong is drowned by the screaming of engines, and the water in the river runs dark and filthy. It pierces my innermost fëa that Men have rejected Arda in such a profound way. How can one truly live, if one cannot even see the stars?

Daytime is fucking boring.

I need something to do.

I admit it. I'm officially addicted to Words with Friends. Although poor Ruby is my only actual friend right now.

for anyone having trouble get The Ladies, i recommend following

Don Draper's Guide to Picking up Women



p.s does anyone want to fight me? i mean, spar. that's the politically correct term isn't it? you just have to promise to put my limbs back on if you cut any off

Oh my god I don't know where I am. I'm in New York and there are people with guns and I don't know how I got here and I don't know where I am.

What should I do?
I should call the police
That's what people do when they're kidnapped, call the police
But the police here have guns and they point them at me

Can anyone see this? HELP ME, PLEASE.

A lady walked up to me on the street today and handed me this.

( Cut for image. )

Music recommendations? Something prog-rock? This guy I knew when I was way younger used to let me listen to this mixed CD, until we ran out of batteries.

Any night owls around? I can't be the only one in this grod-forsaken building who doesn't really sleep at night.

( unfiltered image under cut )

If you took off the ridiculous hat and ignored the disgusting tattoos, this could be me and my daughter, Naleada. She was about this small when I was pulled here. Naleada is much prettier than the girl in this Muggle picture and why don't people move in Muggle photos? So strange, though I'm sure every parent feels that way about their child.

Someone had posted about visiting some children and playing with them - if there are babies that need to be held, I'd like to come along.

Does anyone else out there have family they miss terribly?

I thought I could handle it, but all of this waste is really upsetting. People just throw so much away when they really don't have to. It's still good. Or good enough. All this waste, and there are still people in this country starving.

Some things never change, I guess.

I told Gus we needed a vacation, I just didn't expect to be kidnapped by some glowing blue thingamajig. Sometimes my visions don't always work in the way I'd like them to, I'm afraid. It's the psychic jujubees, they're fickle little demons.

Hello New York. Shawn Spencer here, you may know me as the official psychic investigator for the Santa Barbara Police Department. No? Well then, let me introduce myself: I'm thirty one (but don't look a day over thirty years and two months), and I like pineapple, cereal, and long walks in the park.

Hello, I'm Deanna and while I have been explained this situation I have to say it is more than a touch odd. Which is surprising given all that I've experienced in my life. I also understand that we're stuck here for the time being?

Will

Imzadi, I was told you were here.

This must be hell.


Less fire and brimstone, I'll give you that, but I feel like what it lacks in predictability it makes up for in bloody ridiculousness.

1. No fucking firewhiskey.
2. They're telling me I'm a book character?
3. My so-called writer censored me. A lot.

Alastor Moody, by the way. And before you try and make some idiotic pun out of my last name, let me tell you that you will fail to create something I've never heard before and it's a waste of everyone's time for you to try. I will give respectable marks for anyone that can effectively make a pun out of my first name, though. But make it worth it, for Merlin's sake.

FILTERED TO POTTERVERSE GRYFFINDORS/ORDER MEMBERS

I want to have a party. Let's have a party.

/FILTER

Tumblr might be my new favorite thing. I could spend hours on that site. HILARITY.



I don't know why, but that racked me up.

What the fucking fuck? I bought the game I'm from today because why the fuck not? And this was the cover I got:

( Cut for image )

Vaas? They put fucking Vaas on the cover? He's the psycho shit-fuck crazy bad guy! Why the fuck is he on the cover? I'm the hero of the game, right? I should be on the cover. It should be me, looking all heroic and awesome and cool. Not this asshole who killed my brother and tried to kill me. Damn. I'm really going to have to play this game now so I can kill him again. Him and Buck. I'm going to enjoy that.

Who: Marceline Abadeer and OPEN
When: January 20th, around noon
Where: Outdoor Patio on the 13th floor
What: Playing the bass; contemplating life in the city.
Rating: TBD, but likely low.

( ... )

Things I have used this fancy phone for:

• dialing 867-5309 (thanks for reminding me, Guy With the Sign)
• playing my favorite jams and walking around with it on my shoulder
• hallway golf
• hallway bowling
• hallway frisbee
• shopping
• a doorstop
• MEETING ALL YOU LOVELY PEOPLE

What have you been doing with this thing other than the obvious?