The Doorway: a panfandom game

There go any 'I should get a pet that doesn't need an energy source' ideas I had. I'll stick with my mech dog, thanks.

[FILTERED TO FRIENDS]

I'm assuming I'd have heard by now if any of you were missing parts due to our not-so-fluffy-anymore infestation, but I had my hands a bit full, so let me know if I'm wrong.

Oh, and hey, anybody got plans in the works for a Fourth of July party already? If not, I'm thinking I might pull something together. Outdoors, plenty of food and activities. You can tell I've put a lot of thought into this, right? Don't worry, I'll sort out actual details fast if I do end up running with this idea.

[FILTERED TO SHIELD]

Had almost a dozen of the weirdest, most annoying little bastards* come through the Tesseract last night. I imagine any of you can pull up my full report later today, since there's always a chance they'll come through again while another cell has cube duty. Short version, they weren't exactly dangerous, but they were working up to it. Their limbs are easily removed, which they enjoy doing to themselves, but they keep on going regardless. Separating them from their heads slows them down long enough to trap them. Fun times.

[FILTERED TO NORMANDY CREW + ADOPTEES]

Admin tells me Mordin reported his birthday as this Sunday (I'm nosy, deal with it). We should do something. Get out of the area maybe. Notice I'm not being secretive about this. I figured that would just end up a disaster.

Interested in whitewater rafting at all, Mordin? Garrus would have to wear a life vest, it'd be a blast.

[*OOC Note: Link is OOC, since he's never seen Labyrinth. ALSO, I'm pretty open on adoptees. Anyone that's fairly friendly with any of the crew can jump on this, but if you want to double check, you can email me at panicstrickyn@aol.com.]

I didn't even know what a doughnut was until I arrived here and now they have a National Doughnut Day? Ummmm. Yes please!!

I'm never going to be able to go back to eating a dextro diet ever again.

Heyyyyyy techy people; I need your help. My system needs a hard reboot and soooo I just need someone to monitor me and make sure I know all my presidents/how-many-fingers/which-Avenger-is-the-awesomest and all the usual stuff after I'm back. I've had Thrift Shop stuck in my head for the last four days and I'm going to go CRAZY if it keeps going on repeat (my memory memorizes everything, so it's been the song repeating and repeating and repeating and I had it out of my head for a LITTLE while and then I read Gert's entry about working in a thrift shop and it started up repeating again oh god help someone help).

Please? Pretty please? YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE.

FILTERED TO NORMANDY CREW:

I hope you've been saving me a spot in your SHIELD cell, Shepard. I'm pretty sure the resignation I just gave R&D isn't easy to take back.

[FILTERED TO FRIENDS]

All right, Liara. Did you lose a drone by any chance? I mean, it's really great having a reincarnation of Glyph follow me around and give me unasked for advice (maintaining a 45-degree angle while brushing your teeth is very important to human dental hygiene, Commander), but if he keeps sending fanfiction recommendations to my omni-tool, I think I might have to bury him in a deep hole.

I mean, I'll feel bad about it. But I'll get over it.

OMNI-TEXTS TO TALI:

»
» Want one?

[Text to Tali'Zorah vas Normandy]

» Hello! Trying this other method of communicating.
» Thank the Goddess for our omni-tool's text-to-voice or this would take me ages.
» Anyway, a question for you:
» Have you attempted to create or re-create your drone here? Chatika?

[FILTERED TO NORMANDY CREW + CAROL DANVERS]

I'm going to be out of town for an undetermined amount of time. Probably at least a few days. Try to stay out of trouble.

Seriously.

Please?

Between the sexual education seminar and last night's promenade, I think I've learned more about human adolescence and customs than I ever did in fifty years of schooling. I suppose there's something to be said about direct exposure, and considering most humans I've interacted with closely before have been from the military, diplomatic relations, or seedier organizations, I don't think I ever truly learned about you as a culture outside of that realm. Then of course, what I have learned is from several years into the future, but my impression is that the technology changed, but things still seem to have the same... human element. Attitude, maybe. I think that's a positive.

Thank you for attending with me, Mordin. I had a great time, and you're an excellent dancer! And Ashley, Tali, I felt like I fit in well enough, and I think I have you two to thank for that.

So, does Prince eclipse Commander in your ranking system, Shepard? Prince Shepard doesn't have a bad ring to it, but it would take some getting used to.

[FILTERED TO NORMANDY CREW]

This is probably where I'm supposed to give some inspiring speech about how he might come back and at least we know he's going home to a galaxy that's not at war anymore, but all I really want to do is punch something, so.

Maybe tomorrow.

[FILTERED TO CAROL DANVERS]

Can you come by whenever you get back to the tower?

Normandy Crew:

Is everyone attending this prom? I'm sorry if you've already discussed it, but I'm still trying to catch up. Is a date required?

Also, thank you for the party on Saturday night, Shepard. It's been a long time. What was the food we had again? It was delicious. I'd like to try more like that.

Tali'Zorah & Ashley Williams:

It is a formal affair, and I don't have any of my clothes. The styles I'm looking up seem to be very.... big. I also do not know where to shop. Would either of you be able to help me find an appropriate human dress?

Also, are there any customs I need to know about in preparation?

[FILTERED TO FRIENDS]

Always feels good to dig in and work hard on something physical all day, especially for a good cause and where there's no real thought required. But by the end of it, I remember I'm not in my twenties anymore. Which is basically a long winded way of saying "that's gonna hurt tomorrow".

Anyway, I'm glad the age mess seems to be sorted and I'm in a pretty good mood, so if anyone wants to come over, I'm thinking I'll order up some food and park my tired ass in front of the tv. A guy at work says I need to see Mystery Science Theater 3000. He's kind of an odd one though, so I'm not exactly sure what I'm setting myself up for.

Have spent last few days studying age regression. Would have posted findings sooner, but solution currently undiscovered. Perplexing. Am uncomfortable with current stage of human development. Difficult to concentrate. Problematic for research.

[Inara]

Got to thinkin about what you said. Guess I ain't used to crew holdin down jobs and havin a life away from Serenity. But I ain't selfish neither. Can't expect them to just up and move out to a ranch and fight all manner of ground traffic in this hole of a town. Ain't no matter how purple it feels.

What I'm sayin is. What I'm sayin is I figure you ain't wrong. Just ain't a workable plan.

Thinkin I'll just stay here in this tower. Cept I ain't gettin rid of the ranch. Got to thinkin it'll be good for visitin, spendin time at. Raise some animals. Home away from home. I got plenty of ranchin experience in worse places than this. Ponderin maybe even openin it up to other folk if they get a need to step out of city life for a day or a few hours. Plenty of folk what come from similar backgrounds.

How's that grab you?

[End Filter]


End of May's Unification Day back where I hail from, though I much prefer spendin it a bit different than most folk. Marks the end of a war where I lost a good number of friends, people I consider near enough to family. Only it weren't my side what won the war and it never much settled well how things wound up after. Just puttin it out there if I seem a mite easy to anger over the next few weeks.

-- Also, glad I got skipped on this whole wild agin thing. Last thing I need's to hit puberty again.

If what I have been told is true, I have been pulled from my universe into an alternate one, where Liara T'soni's life is fictional, it is the Earth's year 2013, and I am now a human being. Apparently there are others from my universe here too, who have been here for some time, even though the version of them from my universe was still there when I left. I assume that means there is still a version of me there too. Which is... odd, but I guess that means I don't need to worry about that universe so much anymore?

That will be difficult to get used to.

And apparently I was here briefly before? I do not remember that.
I'm not sure what to do with myself. If there's no Protheans in this universe, then my entire life's work will not do much good here. I suppose I never really had an excuse to research human culture and customs very thoroughly before - my focus was always on the extinct.

So, um. That is to say hello. My name is Liara T'soni. I am an asari archeologist and information broker. It is nice to 'meet' everyone?

FILTERED TO NORMANDY CREW:

Ummmm so, it's been talked about a lot. But I haven't seen anything for our crew. But... prom? We don't have an undercover mission or a clone to chase after, but it could still be fun? Shepard never even let me put on my sexy belts for the casino.

Burger Week is the BEST week, no matter which New York you're in. Five stars, would recommend again, A+++++

Have noticed large spike in usage of word Prom on network. Missed announcement. Awkward. Did research, found prom is antiquated Earth custom. Current custom, correction for time difference. Short for promenade. Often leads to underage drinking and teen pregnancy. Interesting custom. Will note not much different than 'clubbing.' Perhaps should be viewed as practice.

Am interested in information regarding Prom. Uncertain of point of contact. Data suggests often held by educational system. Have noted current head of education one Katherine Pryde. Known as Kitty. Will send e-mail. Have been looking for opportunity to showcase salsa expertise, have also worked on ballroom. Paso Doble current dance of choice. Sensual. Would recommend learning if wish to copulate after prom.

Have found suitable information regarding attendance without date. Called stag. Will attend. Unless must have date. Problematic.

There were plenty of human firsts that I didn't mind or didn't bother me that much, but I would take stepping on Legos on repeat over getting this sick.

Anyone have suggestions for a television marathon? Since I was told to get back into bed and stay there. And Animal Planet is starting to lose its appeal.