The Doorway: a panfandom game

If you think I'm stupid enough to believe this is Earth That Was, you've got another gorram thing comin.

FILTERED TO FIREFLY & BSG FOLKS:

So I was thinkin... it's been a while since the space folks all got together for a dinner, and I know we lost a bunch, but we also gained the prettiest little girl in the 'verse!

Any rate, I was thinkin maybe a little after Lee gets back - to let him settle back in - we could all have a night in at me n Zoe's?

Wassat "NYCC" stand for? A fella was wearing my hat and I asked him where he thought he was going with it and he said to NYCC.

He said I could get one if someone would learn me to knit or for $24.99. Oh, I think not.

I didn't hit him, I'm feelin that Zoe and Kaylee should give me some credit for that. A round of applause will suffice. Maybe some singing of my praises.

And I need knittin teacher. I'm good with my hands.

Tell them that they took my gums

NUNS

GNUS

How the hell did it get gnus?

GUNS

Gorram thing

I hadn't thought about it before, but it makes a strange amount of sense based on what we've seen.

out walkin today, I seen someone wearin my ma's hat. took it off their head an' put it on mine.

bein' here still ain't a picnic, but I got my ma's hat now.

they took my guns

mal they said you was here

Hello? I have been told some interesting information about being a fictional character. That is rather odd...

River
I was told that you were here. Are you alright? Do you need anything?

CAN WE GO TOMORROW. IT'S SO BIG.

I also used some of my own special brand cunning to go to kickstarter.com and set up an account there. If enough people donate, we can all go to Hawaii to buy shirts.

Even you, Mal. Isn't that kind of me.

I even included a picture of me to prove that it was genuine. Don't I look pretty.

I might go for a Mexican look permanently, Zoe. I feel good in this.

Filtered to Serenity Crew, excluding River

As if you all scurrying about like ants looking for something else to do wasn't enough of a clue.

I've actually suspected since last night. Everybody threatening to hug me until I cry uncle, Zoe making me breakfast. And the bread was only a little burnt. I feel like a blessed man, I really do.

But thank you friends and family for trying to lie. Mal, I thought you could lie like a scoundrel? Jayne, sorry that you had to stop seeing my pretty ass. As for the rest of you, I'm going to shower you with hugs as soon as I can stop staring at Zoe. I helped do that Might have to go out for a drink with the guys.

( Also, buy us this. )

But I'm ALIVE. REJOICE.

[Mass text to Serenity Crew minus Wash]

» Before you check the network and shoot your mouths,
» That last bit's mostly Jayne.
» Wash is here. And whatever he finds out, he don't need to tonight.
» Dong ma?

Simon is gone. I came home from my class and he was gone.

I don't understand why he left. We're safe here and he was happy.

Now I'm scared. I don't want to be here alone.

FILTERED: SPACE FOLKS & ADOPTEES (MINUS RIVER):

Just thought you all should know that Simon's gone. Weren't here very long, but least he's goin back to somethin all right. Not like Shepherd or Wash if they showed

whos this mister daylight time

cause im gonna shoot him

this 大坨大便 aint proper

Got the distinct feelin that I missed something at the coffee shop this mornin. Not to mention, I'm feelin like my head's been on the wrong end of a mule's temper. Long line weren't no help, neither. And I'm thinkin Earth-That-Was likes changin the clocks on folk, got me figurin there's some high and mighty fed types sittin back and laughin at those what ain't got no choice but to deal with it. Just makin folk ornery enough to yell in a coffee shop.

Miss my ship. Miss havin no one to answer to sides me. Cept what I got here I ain't willin to trade. Gorram it.

ATTENTION ALL SCAVENGER HUNT PARTICIPANTS. The scores have been tallied and the winner of the competition is TEAM AWESOME. This team was able to gather all of the required items PLUS bonuses (except one). Everybody's effort was supreme, yadda yadda, you all did great ... and thanks for leaving Dr. Banner alone since I was mostly kidding about that last one.

TEAM AWESOME, you may come to Sam's bar to collect your prize tonight.

If there is enough interest, I will organize one for next month that will make you beg for mercy.

TEXT TO JAYNE COBB:

» You owe me a favor. I'm calling it in.

Because I don't give a flying frak about bacon or fashion or flowers (though, okay, beer is alright), I'm going to make something happen for the rest of us. And if you don't like it, your face can meet my fist or I guess you can find an orchid and stick it up your prune it.

KARA THRACE'S SCAVENGER HUNT OF DOOM
You have 24 hours from the time of this post to gather teams and find what I list below. Whoever finds the most wins. And what do you win? Well, that's up to me and I will tell you when you do. Onto the list:

1. A picture of you and Captain America's shield.
2. Nick Fury's eye-patch. Or Nick Fury's stupid leather duster. The location of Nick Fury.
3. A picture of your epic fight with a demi-god.
4. A picture of you hammered and Thor's hammer and Thor hammered.
5. A lock of hair from a tower-ginger.
6. The keys to Tony Stark's favorite car.
7. A picture of yourself with a mounted patrol officer. Extra credit if there's handcuffs.
8. A picture of one of those Harry Potter people levitating an object with their wand.
9. Sam Merlotte as a blue bird sitting on Ruby's shoulder as a wolf.
10. My dog tags from the Galactia.

BONUS: Katniss Everdeen & a Hawkeye locked in competition/romantic embrace over their archery skills.

BONUS: Tony Stark trussed up on the hood of said car with keys in his mouth and the Iron Man suit in the front seat.

BONUS: Lindir the Elf, a copy of Where the Sidewalk Ends and a dual recitation between he and the Hulk or Jayne Cobb.

Questions? Ok. Comments, bring it on. Snide remarks? Go to hell.

And good luck!

[FILTER: Lee, Sam, TJ, Don]

If you wuss out and don't do this, I'm kicking your ass. So, it's for your own good.

I am uncertain how far sound carries in this building and as such would like to tender my apologies to the other residents on the 7th floor and those on the floors above and below if you were disturbed by the sound of an explosion early this morning. An experimental potion I was brewing turned unstable overnight and exploded this morning when I checked on it. I shall reinforce the silencing charms today so as not to disturb any of you in the future.

There are a few things I've been holding close to my chest here, things that I've held close ever since they happened, all in an attempt to avoid thinking about it and avoid owning up to what I've done. I've felt that way here too, despite knowing how easily everyone can discover some of our dirty secrets. In an effort to stop running from what I've done, I think I need to get it off my chest. I can't move on if I'm carrying it on my back like this forever.

I lived on a planet called Caprica, years ago. It was one of the twelve planets that made up our colonies. My father had been in the military for my entire life, which meant he was away a lot. My parents divorced when I was eight, and I saw him less after that. It took us years to fix our relationship and to stop blaming each other for everything that went wrong.

I had a fiancée on Caprica. Gianne. She was pregnant, and when she told me, I ran. I was afraid that I would only repeat the mistakes my father made with my brother and I. I was afraid of a lot of things that didn't really matter in the end. When the colonies fell to the Cylons during their attack, she was there. I never saw her again. I spent a long time blaming myself for being a coward and for never going back to apologize. The guilt I felt got in the way of too much over the years, and I still haven't managed to shake it all. I don't know if I ever can. The funny thing about being here is that I find myself thinking more about my mistakes than I did when all I had to worry about was where I was going to find my next meal. I don't know what it is about it. The similarities to home, my face being on a new show about doctors.

It's a relief to finally talk about it, at least.

Gods, and to think it's only Monday.