The Doorway: a panfandom game

[FILTERED TO FRIENDS]

All right, Liara. Did you lose a drone by any chance? I mean, it's really great having a reincarnation of Glyph follow me around and give me unasked for advice (maintaining a 45-degree angle while brushing your teeth is very important to human dental hygiene, Commander), but if he keeps sending fanfiction recommendations to my omni-tool, I think I might have to bury him in a deep hole.

I mean, I'll feel bad about it. But I'll get over it.

OMNI-TEXTS TO TALI:

»
» Want one?

[FILTERED TO NORMANDY CREW + CAROL DANVERS]

I'm going to be out of town for an undetermined amount of time. Probably at least a few days. Try to stay out of trouble.

Seriously.

Please?

Between the sexual education seminar and last night's promenade, I think I've learned more about human adolescence and customs than I ever did in fifty years of schooling. I suppose there's something to be said about direct exposure, and considering most humans I've interacted with closely before have been from the military, diplomatic relations, or seedier organizations, I don't think I ever truly learned about you as a culture outside of that realm. Then of course, what I have learned is from several years into the future, but my impression is that the technology changed, but things still seem to have the same... human element. Attitude, maybe. I think that's a positive.

Thank you for attending with me, Mordin. I had a great time, and you're an excellent dancer! And Ashley, Tali, I felt like I fit in well enough, and I think I have you two to thank for that.

So, does Prince eclipse Commander in your ranking system, Shepard? Prince Shepard doesn't have a bad ring to it, but it would take some getting used to.

[FILTERED TO NORMANDY CREW]

This is probably where I'm supposed to give some inspiring speech about how he might come back and at least we know he's going home to a galaxy that's not at war anymore, but all I really want to do is punch something, so.

Maybe tomorrow.

[FILTERED TO CAROL DANVERS]

Can you come by whenever you get back to the tower?

Have spent last few days studying age regression. Would have posted findings sooner, but solution currently undiscovered. Perplexing. Am uncomfortable with current stage of human development. Difficult to concentrate. Problematic for research.

If what I have been told is true, I have been pulled from my universe into an alternate one, where Liara T'soni's life is fictional, it is the Earth's year 2013, and I am now a human being. Apparently there are others from my universe here too, who have been here for some time, even though the version of them from my universe was still there when I left. I assume that means there is still a version of me there too. Which is... odd, but I guess that means I don't need to worry about that universe so much anymore?

That will be difficult to get used to.

And apparently I was here briefly before? I do not remember that.
I'm not sure what to do with myself. If there's no Protheans in this universe, then my entire life's work will not do much good here. I suppose I never really had an excuse to research human culture and customs very thoroughly before - my focus was always on the extinct.

So, um. That is to say hello. My name is Liara T'soni. I am an asari archeologist and information broker. It is nice to 'meet' everyone?

FILTERED TO NORMANDY CREW:

Ummmm so, it's been talked about a lot. But I haven't seen anything for our crew. But... prom? We don't have an undercover mission or a clone to chase after, but it could still be fun? Shepard never even let me put on my sexy belts for the casino.

Burger Week is the BEST week, no matter which New York you're in. Five stars, would recommend again, A+++++

Well, this ain't Kentucky, Toto. I'd ask what a man has to do to see the wizard around here, but the folks with assault rifles gave me the impression that a shiny pair of shoes wouldn't cut it. That, and that there were actual wizards here.

Since I reckon they weren't referring to the white sheet-wearing variety this far north, that leaves me with only a handful of options. Bitching about being given a roommate seems mighty petty right about now, so I'll settle for saying hello. My name's Raylan Givens. You'll most likely find me in the bar soon enough.

There were plenty of human firsts that I didn't mind or didn't bother me that much, but I would take stepping on Legos on repeat over getting this sick.

Anyone have suggestions for a television marathon? Since I was told to get back into bed and stay there. And Animal Planet is starting to lose its appeal.

[FILTERED TO TALI'ZORAH VAS NORMANDY AND GARRUS VAKARIAN]

Thanks for the mech. When she squatted to pee right in the middle of the kitchen, I wondered for a minute if you'd gone to the trouble of making the smell authentic. The fact that the thought crossed my mind before wondering why you programmed the thing to pee in the first place is noteworthy, I think.

Anyway, I appreciate the gift of a pet I can't starve. It's been kind of a long day, so I think I'll wait on deciding on the name. If I do it now, she'll end up being called something like Pain in the Ass.

[FILTERED TO CAROL DANVERS]

I hope you don't have a thing against robots.

FILTERED TO FRIENDS OF SHEPARD* (minus Shepard):

It's Shepard's birthday next week, and I'd really like to do something for him.

I called ahead and booked the Paintball Arena here for the day after his birthday (Friday the 12th) from 7-12pm. They have pizza, chips and soda for everyone, we get 15 games, 5 rounds each game. Unlimited air and balls, includes equipment. It's $40 a person, I already put down the deposit and I can cover anyone that can't afford it.

Everybody in? I need someone to get a cake, too.

FILTERED TO SHEPARD:

Leave your schedule free for next Friday, Captain.

[* Space people, SHIELD coworkers, anyone who wants in, etc.]

OMNI-TEXT TO SHEPARD:

» You wouldn't happen to be anywhere around R&D right now, would you?

OMNI-TEXTS TO GARRUS VAKARIAN:

» So humans have a silly tradition but I thought it was- oh no I'm not supposed to warn oops Garrus.
» We need to talk.

Maybe I've judged the existence of our video games too harshly. The fact that these even exist...

( OOC cut for gifs. )

Well. There's obviously something magical happening there. Saving these for the next time you jerks mock my dancing.

Especially yours, Kaidan.

To: Normandy Crew
Cc: Serenity Crew, Galactica Crew
Bcc:
From: Mordin Solus (mordin.solus@pottstower.com)
Subject: Q1 Checkup, Week of 3/24-3/30
Attachment:

( you have 1 new message )

St. Patrick's Day is over! Nurse your hangovers, pack away your green mardi-gras beads and Annie get yer gun. (Not.. actually you, Annie. It's a musical.)

ANYWAY, know what time it is?

DARCY'S FOURTH ANNUAL POTTS/STARK NERF WAR

What that means:

Last Man Standing. Spans over BOTH towers, for people who are over in Stark's tower for work and whatnot. Biology/Chemistry type labs are OFF LIMITS. You won't like Bruce when he's angry.

Everyone is going to get a nerf gun & a tag attached to their door on the morning of Friday, March 22nd. IT WILL LAST UNTIL THERE IS ONE PERSON LEFT. Usually takes about 48 hours.

IF YOU WISH TO PARTICIPATE, attach the tag to your persons whenever you are in the tower, IT HAS TO BE VISIBLE.

If you don't want to join in, don't wear a tag and surrender your gun to me.

NO SHOOTING UNTAGGED PEOPLE. Likewise, no hiding your tag. If you want to play, be fair about it.

ANYWAY. If you shoot someone with a tag fairly, you get their tag and so on and so forth. If they have 5 tags from people they killed, you get all of them. Winner is whoever has the most tags in the end FROM FAIR KILLS. Seriously, don't be a cheating douchebag.

OH AND because this needs to be said; No modding your guns. At all. (I'm looking at you, Mass Effect people.) Extra ammo is your responsibility - each gun comes with 6. Take the ammo from your "kills".

NO POWERS. Sorry about this one, but if you've GOT powers, at least TRY not to use them. Like no Force, or telepathically convincing someone to come out, or telekentically blocking doorways, that sort of thing. You should know what's right and wrong. This includes NO DRONES OR MECHANICAL HELP YOU BUILD.

Some tips;

Watch out for the spies & shooter people (No joke, they are scary MOFOs and usually win. Don't be sore about it, most of them save lives etc etc).

Don't shoot people who are carrying coffee. OW.

JUST HAVE FUN.

QUESTIONS, ETC give 'em to me.

Tags: !network post, alex summers / havok (616), bucky barnes / winter soldier (mcu), carol danvers / captain marvel (616), caroline forbes (cw), commander shepard, darcy lewis, elspeth gordie, garrus vakarian, gilina renaez, henry pym jr, humberto lopez / reptil (616), jaina solo, james bond, jason brody, jeanne foucault / finesse (616), jessica day, jubilation lee (animated), kara thrace / starbuck, katniss everdeen, kitty pryde / shadowcat (616), lee adama / apollo, lizzie bennet, luke skywalker, mordin solus, natasha romanova / black widow (616), richard castle, ruby lucas / red, steve jinks, tali'zorah vas normandy, victor mancha, zoe washburne

There's been a lot of negativity around the tower lately. I know this situation is far from ideal for many of you, and stressful for most. There's a lot of trite crap I could say about making the best of things, but I'm not going to bore you with any of that.

I just want to say that I'm damn grateful for the people I've gotten to meet here and even more glad that everyone in this universe isn't being systematically exterminated by a race of giant, synthetic aliens. Oh, and that I'm not dead. That's a pretty big plus.

Anyway, there's a place in Brooklyn called Park Slope Chip Shop that will deep fry just about anything you want. So the next time you're feeling pissed off, I recommend taking a breath, remembering that your life could be a hell of a lot worse, and taking a trip out for the deep fried mac & cheese.

Just, don't make a habit of it. I'm pretty sure that shit can kill you.

[OOC Note: Potential rape trigger warning for discussion in comments]

Fruity human drinks will be the end of me.

FILTERED TO GARRUS:

Sooo. Apparently this happened?

I feel like this is a conversation I should have remembered.