vallo

[delivered to Caleb around noon, wherever he may be]

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Hey folks, so it's been a week of us quietly enjoying this life update, but just wanted to say that I'm probably the luckiest guy around because Dorian agreed to marry me.

That said, no details have been set yet but we would like to celebrate with our people here in Vallo and were hoping that you might all join us for dinner and drinks—and a little theater, because it only feels right to do this at a classy establishment like Taste of Tal'Dorei. Don't worry, Exandrians. Already cleared it to make sure the show that night doesn't feature any present company or friends back home. Safe for one night.

So if you're free next Saturday at 7 and would like some food and alcohol (or not alcohol) on us, we really hope to see your faces.

With the holiday coming up, do we need to make a list of costumes that people are planning on donning themselves in should we have a repeat of previous years and we have some oddities occurring and running around the streets and forest?

It feels responsible, but I also understand should we be embracing chaos.

Hey, it's Halloween next week and apparently I've made it my mission in this place to throw parties as we've done some pretty good Halloween parties at the Keep so guess what: doing it again.

So, details:

Halloween, starting at 7PM (Yes, I know it's a Thursday. Drink responsibly or don't, I'm not your dad and it's your Friday hangover.)
Greyskull Keep
Come in costume or I'll give you shit

PS: This is not associated with the Youth Center (off the hook, Storm) so I don't have to be professional.

GILMORE & VEX

Hey guess what, I'm going to throw a party if you want to help.

For the record, I just watched a number of jack-o-lanterns roll around campus, trying to bite at the ankles of students running around and away from them between classes. I was able to stop one with a firebolt, but the person it was chasing seemed more irritated that they were covered in hot pumpkin goo than that I had saved their ankles from being gnawed on, so—everyone else has to fend for themselves, now.

Anyway, happy Tuesday? I hope your feet aren't chewed on by a pumpkin today.

Alright, well, this very legitimate and perfectly reasonable memory wiping business has gotten out of control. Our contacts assure us they are working most diligently on it, however...I am the sort that would rather take issues in my own hands.

(Harrow, this is one of those 'other duties as assigned' in case you were curious)

If you are interested in working out a solution, please come to the DOA. If you have no ability to do so but would like to support, I enjoy a full bodied red and spicy food. If you are being impacted by this memory issue--or if someone has told you that you are, I suppose, give us about an hour to start and then please come by. I make no immediate promises, but we will get to the root of this.

[FILTERED TO 18+]

( 18+ - Mentions of incubus/succubus vibes but nothing SA triggering I promise. )

Excuse me ghost pirates but this is not the welcome I was expecting, at the very least you could bring me some sort of tropical drink.

The water elemental cheerleaders are doing their best but they were previously used to flirt with stupid people so if they try with you then--no, Aelwyn so if you see one and they're a bit distracted, just point them towards the dirty ghost pirates and try not to take too many pompoms to the face.

Do I receive another bagel? I mostly know what it is now Adaine, you are on the clock, I'm waiting.

An entity that I can only describe as a ghost pirate just attempted to abscond me of all of the various earrings and jewelry on my person, which is a great deal regarding the former thanks to, you know, long ears.

That is a sentence that I both wrote and is 100% factual and truthful.

I was once a high-ranking government official at court and the eldest son of the matriarch of respected noble family. I am now being interrupted while grocery shopping in order to prove to ghost pirates that my wedding ring is my own. What is this life, sometimes?

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HELLO EVERYONE

I am sorry to say that CRIMES have occurred.

The crimes are kidnapping.

The perpetrators are the geese (again).

I will remind everyone to conduct proper surveillance and to secure the perimeter before attempting anything.

THEY CANNOT BE NEGOTIATED WITH (again) (I do not think, I tried, bird-to-bird).

We are at the lake (again) (this is embarrassing for me but DADS I did not MEAN to get kidnapped)

Thank you.

CALEB

Husband, look.

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This has surely been an experience of a day.

Where might one go to find spell components and is there potential for metal rods attuned to other planes?

Excuse me but I have many complaints.

Number one: I have had no less than five people stand around and when I politely ask for assistance, they all act as though I'm speaking some sort of foreign language and are incapable of comprehension. I would like some assistance.

Number two: in all of that standing around, no one has offered me dragon spice--no, Aelwyn, you're good--well, neutral, you're solidly neutral now a tea. Would it be so difficult to bring a tea? Perhaps with some lemon, or a nice green tea, or really any sort of beverage?

Number three: Apparently I receive a bagel upon my arrival and yet no one has procured it for me! And no one will tell me what it is! I'm not demanding, I'm simply stating what has been promised.

Who would like to prove themselves competent and assist me? Anyone?

Anyone else do anything weird last night?

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Please for the love of whatever fucking god actually listens tell me that I'm not the only one seeing a FACE on the FUCKING MOON because frankly I've had enough MOON BULLSHIT to last several lifetimes

and also would prefer my loss of mind to take this kind of shape because FUCK me.

It has been three days of this. I cannot handle another.

Why is it so hot.

HELLO PLEASE ATTENTION

If you see this cowplant with cake DO NOT APPROACH. It is my observation that this cake is a LIE meant to LURE you in before it SWALLOWS you.

My dad (Essek Dad not Caleb Dad, Dads, should we consider different names? I do not know what they would be but perhaps to spare confusion? This can be a discussion for later) has firsthand experience on this and he is one of the best wizards in all of Vallo so I am telling you all this as a matter of public safety.

Do NOT approach the cake.

The cake is a LIE.

You will be SWALLOWED.

and your child will be very scared I observe I need to carry more weapons

I ate something called a crookie today, which felt quite ridiculous to say aloud when ordering it and likewise felt entirely too indulgent to eat.

And yet, it was delicious and there are now many in the kitchen: a message to my housemates. Or, I suppose, anyone willing to be very risky over dessert and attempt to break into our home. It would be very interesting to see you try.

Providing desserts, especially those as sweet as these, has me thinking about Jestser and



And yes, before I am scolded, do not actually attempt to break into our house. I would feel very bad if someone triggered a disintegration trap over a pastry.

CALEB

I would like to be romantic, if my husband would allow it.