vallo

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[FILTERED TO THE DRAGON COVERT CREW]

Sgaeyl almost torched a delivery guy this morning. I handled it. She's been sleeping a lot so I was sticking close anyw Just giving you a heads up that she's in a mood so maybe keep your distance. I'll take her out for a long flight when she stops growling at me.

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It seems this world has done more to help my daughter grow wiser and more responsible than I thought I would ever be able to do (or maybe that's just Carol's influence). I should like to thank it properly for taking care of her for the two years she has been here. Plus, it seems I had also missed her nineteenth birthday in this world. (In my world, at least, she is still thriving but I will not give you details for Kamala says that is known as a spoiler.)

This Friday, I am making chicken biryani, samosa chaat, and panipuris for everyone who wishes to come by and have some. I have permission and help from the residents of Loch Laggan. I guarantee you will never find anything like my recipes in the streets of this Vallo.

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Well, can't say it's every day I jump off a cliff and end up in another universe. But I'll bet the two versions of me that were here before said the same thing. Brenda at the DOA claims I was a big fan of essential oils.



YELENA:

Hi.

Woke up to a text message this morning letting me know that these monster plants were threatening to take over my cottage and a good part of New Asgard. Nothing like your usually friendly neighbors wandering around like they're straight out of a nightmare.

Patroling just got weirder.

[Filtered to Carol]
If I lost a kidney at home, is it gone here?

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TEXT MESSAGES TO VALKYRIE:

» Monica is set up in her own room over here.
» Come back tonight?

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I feel like I just woke up from a coma and that I could sleep all bloody week. Is everything back to normal now?

Uh hey so like, shit's creepy out there? The power keeps flickering at the camp so maybe it'd be good to all group up at the main building with some flashlights and candles and just hang out, yeah? I've got cards, we could play some strip poker?

Real creepy vibe out here, mates.

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PRIVATE MESSAGE TO VIOLET DEBENHAM, YELENA BELOVA & PETER PARKER (SEPARATELY)

If there's anything you need, I'm here.

PRIVATE MESSAGE TO KAMALA KHAN

I love you.

Alright, I don't know what kind of insane shit got Knowhere cursed, but we've got a sudden influx of garden gnomes. Yeah, you read that right: garden gnomes.

And this isn't like "oh, some asshole planted little bearded dude statues around the place for a joke." No. These things are alive and causing as much fucking chaos as they can. They've got weapons, and they yell a lot of vulgar shit in heavy English accents, and they don't go down unless you basically kill them - then they turn into statues again.

Anyway, the six of us are up to our asses in a sea of vindictive garden gnomes over here for some reason, so if anyone wants to get some anger out, head our way. We're trying to figure out if there's some kind of magical beacon or trigger or something right now, so anyone with a head for that kind of thing would be great too.