vallo

Somebody tell me it's perfectly normal for the first ultrasound to look like a literal peanut. Just kept thinking of this fucker.

[FILTERED TO ADAM]

Stuck a copy in the inside pocket of your anniversary gift for safekeeping. She's our freaky little peanut.

I swear to fucking Jesus if I stub one more goddamn toe or drop so much as a SPOON, I'm going to set something on fire. Soon as these animals are all sorted I'm going back to bed. Wake me up when it's not Friday the 13th anymore. Stupid fucking witchy bullshit.

Hey make sure you assholes come to the market so Declan can see what a goddamn SUCCESS I am it is. It was way fucking better with Syd around but I can't do anything about that part. If it's only the Donaldson twins arguing with me about the price of ice cream (which has not fucking changed in three years!) I'm going to be pissed tho.



Also uh. Our surrogate's pregnant so. Nora's on the way. Wish us luck and shit.

Please for the love of whatever fucking god actually listens tell me that I'm not the only one seeing a FACE on the FUCKING MOON because frankly I've had enough MOON BULLSHIT to last several lifetimes

and also would prefer my loss of mind to take this kind of shape because FUCK me.

[BLUE, RONAN, & ADAM GROUP TEXTS]

» I'm putting together my outfits for the pride events.
» Did any of you replace my favorite shoes?
» They look brand new but I know it wasn't me.
» I normally would have pointed this look directly at Blue but she's too obvious of a choice.

» I've been avo Also we should start discussing housing to prepare for the coming years.

[TEXT MESSAGES TO ADAM]

» how the fuck does anyone jerk off in a doctor's office
» this place couldn't be LESS sexy
» can't believe I'm already fucking this up and we're just barely
» send me something inspiring parrish I'm losing my mind over here

HELLO PLEASE ATTENTION

If you see this cowplant with cake DO NOT APPROACH. It is my observation that this cake is a LIE meant to LURE you in before it SWALLOWS you.

My dad (Essek Dad not Caleb Dad, Dads, should we consider different names? I do not know what they would be but perhaps to spare confusion? This can be a discussion for later) has firsthand experience on this and he is one of the best wizards in all of Vallo so I am telling you all this as a matter of public safety.

Do NOT approach the cake.

The cake is a LIE.

You will be SWALLOWED.

and your child will be very scared I observe I need to carry more weapons

( Read more... )

[FILTERED TO FRIENDS]

Hey so. We've got an appointment with a few specialists to get the ball rolling on making a baby. Idk how long it's all going to take and I only halfway understand what a surrogate coordinator even fucking does, but I figured I'd share the good news and shit. Parrish said I couldn't wear a "call me daddy" shirt to the market so. Look at that. Using my ~words~.

( Read more... )

What I've discovered this week is that some of you need to be complimented more often. I'd apologize but I'm not actually that sorry.

FILTERED TO EDWIN:

How are you feeling?

( Read more... )

Things I've learned this past week:

1. There's a reason that Vex was always the one that took the lead in the woods and why I took the lead when we were in cities. Nature is grand and beautiful, but fucking hell I was not made for it and never will be made for it, at least not for extended periods. Velora is already asking about a weekend camping trip and I can't tell if she's giving me a hard time or actually wants to go.

2. Squirrels are total gossips. Genuinely, I feel the need to check in with the ones that live around the house, just to see what is going on.

3. My bear of a nephew is a pretty good thief, if he's stealing from you while you're exhausted from walking around a forest that wants to kill you at every turn.

4. Despite roughing it in a mountain, my fiance was still as radiant as ever, which I think should come to no one's surprise. I did not fare as well and I swear that I am still picking twigs and leaves out of my hair.

5. Can we be done now? This is not a lesson learned, just a plea.

SHAUN

Also I'm sorry I tried to rescue you when I said that I wouldn't.

Did anyone else make it through? Is anyone else in the middle of the forest? There's a group of us here, but we're still trying to figure out where exactly we are.

I know we hate these fucking portals, but there better be one because there is not a chance in the hells that both my fiance and sister disappeared right in front of me and it can't be fixed.

Added later:

No place better to start a list.

Gilmore
Adaine
Kellach
Kara
Keith
Shiro
Atreus
Kratos
Orym
Chetney
Kit
Cayden
Eli
Kaitlyn
Ronan
Matthew
Lan Xichen
Temeraire
Violet S
Henry
Sydney
Katou
El

Meet CRASH. She's helping me feed chickens. And no I didn't dream this one. Chainsaw rescued her.

( OOC cut for picture of an opossum )

Anybody need any new tattoos? I'll give you a good deal if your shit isn't lame.

( Read more... )

Hey, I'm looking for odd jobs that a teenager is allowed to do so I can pick up some extra money to pay for prom stuff. So if anybody needs, like...a bookshelf put together or their library catalogued or the oil changed in their car or something, call me. I want my girlfriend to be able to order an appetizer at pre-prom dinner if she wants.


[Filtered to William Laurence]
Hey Mr. Laurence, this is Mike, Nancy's brother. You also might remember me from helping out with the kid camp at Art of Expression back when everybody got turned into kids.

I wanted to ask for some I guess fashion advice? El and I are going to the prom in May, and you're supposed to dress formal for that. I've never dressed any more formal than basic going to church clothes, so I have no idea what I'm doing. You always look really sharp, so I was hoping maybe you could help me with figuring out what to wear for this?
[/filter]

Which one of you fucked with my ship? I put actual fucking wires in this thing and somebody comes along and cuts them? Bullshit. Should've made it run on pure vibes. Parrish, I'm gonna need some help. And before you ask, no, there isn't an owner's manual, smartass.


Also what the fuck is up with all the trash? Is somebody on strike?

Hey there, newcomers--and also not-newcomers, since I've been told everyone should be connected onto our networks now. Obviously let us know if that's not the case--well, I guess you wouldn't be seeing this if it wasn't, so. Let us know if it is and that's one thing done.

Anyway, I'm Orym and it really is nice to see some new faces, even if it's from strange circumstances. (I say that as though arriving via tree onto a space station is normal, but after a few years it really is.)

If there's anything you need or have questions about, let us know.