vallo

Not that I'm impatient or anything, but when do we get to eat the murder birds?

You know, one of the great things about being married is learning new things about your partner, even after we've been together for years.

Like today I found out that Teddy uses a giant magical sword (a sword that that a prophecy proclaimed that whoever could pull this sword from a stone [I know, I know] would become the ruler of space) as a table that he puts his cereal bowl on.

It's things like this that keep the spark alive.

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[Harrow]

Look I get holidays and celebrations and all that shit, but after last night I kind of feel like every fucking day should be Halloween. Those shots were amazing and the decorations? Fuck yeah, it's kind of like telling the Ninth back home that they don't know shit about amazing decor. Had a fucking blast and kind of want to do it again already. Why just once? Don't tell me "oh we gotta save up the energy to make it worth it" or some asshole comment like that.

If I showed up in like April and disappeared in July or something like that, I'd be pissed for missing out on something like this. So here's my proposal - once a month is fine for compromise.

... getting Harrow to show a little leg is in no way a motivator for this post.

Hey, it's Halloween next week and apparently I've made it my mission in this place to throw parties as we've done some pretty good Halloween parties at the Keep so guess what: doing it again.

So, details:

Halloween, starting at 7PM (Yes, I know it's a Thursday. Drink responsibly or don't, I'm not your dad and it's your Friday hangover.)
Greyskull Keep
Come in costume or I'll give you shit

PS: This is not associated with the Youth Center (off the hook, Storm) so I don't have to be professional.

GILMORE & VEX

Hey guess what, I'm going to throw a party if you want to help.

Alright, well, this very legitimate and perfectly reasonable memory wiping business has gotten out of control. Our contacts assure us they are working most diligently on it, however...I am the sort that would rather take issues in my own hands.

(Harrow, this is one of those 'other duties as assigned' in case you were curious)

If you are interested in working out a solution, please come to the DOA. If you have no ability to do so but would like to support, I enjoy a full bodied red and spicy food. If you are being impacted by this memory issue--or if someone has told you that you are, I suppose, give us about an hour to start and then please come by. I make no immediate promises, but we will get to the root of this.

TEXTS TO GIDEON.

» GRIDDLE.

For those who hadn't heard yet, my body's fucking fixed. For those who don't even know what that means, when I got here I was kind of puppeting my own goddamn corpse. It was a whole thing.

I'm only saying this because the timing has been awesome. Does the best food just come out this time of year or have I been missing out that much? Pumpkin spice this, caramel apple that. Seriously, try going for even just one year of not being able to eat or even feel shit and I bet you'd come to the same conclusion. Better yet, try being limited to mostly really bland garbage for all your life and THEN get to this point.

Vallo, you're fucking nuts, but damn you know food.

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[FILTERED TO VESPER]

Oh shit I hope I have the right person Hi sorry I realize I left ABRUPTLY this morning but I just wanted to let you know it wasn't you? It was just that I don't like to be gone when my kid wakes up in the morning so she doesn't think I'm missing. I had fun! I wasn't trying to ghost, I swear.

[FILTERED TO HARROW & GIDEON]

I bonded with the ley lines and danced in the moon last night and celebrated Gleichentag and now I'm feeling powerful. I want to try again if you guys are ready?

I feel good about this one.

Fuck pirates. Fuck ghosts. Fuck jewelry.

Sunglasses are okay.

An entity that I can only describe as a ghost pirate just attempted to abscond me of all of the various earrings and jewelry on my person, which is a great deal regarding the former thanks to, you know, long ears.

That is a sentence that I both wrote and is 100% factual and truthful.

I was once a high-ranking government official at court and the eldest son of the matriarch of respected noble family. I am now being interrupted while grocery shopping in order to prove to ghost pirates that my wedding ring is my own. What is this life, sometimes?

I swear to fucking Jesus if I stub one more goddamn toe or drop so much as a SPOON, I'm going to set something on fire. Soon as these animals are all sorted I'm going back to bed. Wake me up when it's not Friday the 13th anymore. Stupid fucking witchy bullshit.

HELLO EVERYONE

I am sorry to say that CRIMES have occurred.

The crimes are kidnapping.

The perpetrators are the geese (again).

I will remind everyone to conduct proper surveillance and to secure the perimeter before attempting anything.

THEY CANNOT BE NEGOTIATED WITH (again) (I do not think, I tried, bird-to-bird).

We are at the lake (again) (this is embarrassing for me but DADS I did not MEAN to get kidnapped)

Thank you.

Hey fun fucking facts for today:

1. So you can call them a flock of turkeys, but they're also called a rafter of turkeys and what the fuck is up with that.

2. Our house is surrounded by a rafter of turkeys. ( cut for image! )

3. They're mean fuckers, shit and damn. I can respect that and all, but also I don't know who in this house offended the turkeys (Chet? Dorian?) but they're currently pecking at the siding and windows and shit. It might be fucking on.

and 4. Letters, don't go outside.

I need someone else to confirm the gang of penguins that graffitied the alley next to the angry pixies coffee shop. Because, what.

I'll take Sentences I thought I'd never type for 400.

Teddy

I have a proposition.

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Hello. I may have found something. I have been attempting to follow a trail ever since Eliphas was attacked by these anxiety-inducing beasts. Not even my best tracking forms were helping much until today, when I got wind in the swampier section of the forest. There are caves here, a whole system of them, and they are extensive enough that it would not be wise to go in alone.

Fair warning, I do not know how many may be inside or if there is a master creature to contend with once we are there. That said, I am certain others will not mind the risk if it means finding the creatures responsible for hurting our people and personally see to it that it does not happen again.

[the cave's coordinates]

Hey make sure you assholes come to the market so Declan can see what a goddamn SUCCESS I am it is. It was way fucking better with Syd around but I can't do anything about that part. If it's only the Donaldson twins arguing with me about the price of ice cream (which has not fucking changed in three years!) I'm going to be pissed tho.



Also uh. Our surrogate's pregnant so. Nora's on the way. Wish us luck and shit.