vallo

FILTERED TO FRIENDS + CATRA'S FRIENDS (in case there are any they don't share)

I wanted to throw Catra a birthday party this month, but that's not happening because she's being a stubborn butt. It's on the 28th, though, just so everyone knows and can spam her with Happy Birthdays.

She doesn't deserve it after she put mayonnaise in my donuts, but I'm a good girlfriend.

FILTERED TO RICHIE TOZIER

I have a special project I think you can help me with. Can I steal some of your free time next week?

The Art of Expression and Anoku Coven will be co-hosting Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, the shadowcast version on October 23!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with a shadowcast, it is done with an ensable of artists that act out the movie while it is playing in the background.

This screening promises to be a wild ride for our audeince, with an extra dash of spooky thanks to members of Anoku. If you're looking for something to get you into the Halloween Spirit, this is it.

Auditions are October 1 at the Art of Expression!

I want to apologize to the new guy Catra and I found in the forest today. He was already scared, and the glowing eight-foot-tall lady and sexy catgirl probably didn't help the situation. We got him back to the DOA, but it was a feat.

So, new guy, I think you were too busy screaming and swearing to tell us your name - but I'm really sorry for scaring you even more. I hope you're okay. And I promise to be normal-sized next time I see you.

[FILTERED TO CAST OF THE ADDAMS FAMILTY & HAUS RESIDENTS]

YO, I know it's crazy last minute but black & white cast party at the Haus tomorrow night? Bitty's offered to bake if that sways your vote (it should, if you have any taste buds whatsoever, but I'm not here to judge). I was thinking we could put up a projector on the side of the Haus, play some of the old tv show. Or you can just come to get trashed on tub juice. #liveyourbestlife

Just don't show up to opening night looking like microwaved meatloaf.

Edited to add: Or we could do it after closing night and pretend I'm not an idiot who got excited to throw a party with an Addams Family theme? Tell me what you guys want here.

Early this morning while I was enjoying a morning stroll through our sinister wood, I came across a giant, fuck-off castle. Now, I know that giant, fuck-off castles are indeed the norm around here, but I can't pretend to have seen this one before. It's... hmmm. How to put it gently? If you were to purchase this castle at a charity shop, its condition would be "Used: Good".

I didn't feel any particular malevolent energies coming from it, and none of the animals appear spooked, so I don't believe we're in for anything tiresome.

Anyone have any idea? I'll be happy to take you to it, provided that I make it back in time for my shift at 9:00am and you don't mind my practising my lines on you. (Simon makes an excellent backup to Tina's Morticia, if anyone who is wondering.)

Han adopted a younger brother during the photo shoot, I had no choice but to bring him home. This is Snoopy. We love him.

In other news, my teenage desire to grow up to be Morticia Addams is finally coming true and I'm pretty damn thrilled about it.

EZEKIEL JONES
I need you and your brain.

I regret (?) to inform you all that Jester's giant penis is no longer looming over the shoppe here at Chastity's Nook. Shame. It was on its way to being as beloved a mascot as Frumpkin.

[ Filtered to Simon, Catra and Adora ]

Simon, Adora. Adora, Simon. You're both attached to swords and have a tendency to stand enveloped in heroic light at any given moment. I think you would get along (yes, Simon, I'm proactively making friends for you). Now that I've cast a spell for you, and Adora allowed me to tag along when Simon was a bird in the fight against that goth witch, I vote the four of us cement this new friendship and have lunch following a rousing swordfight practise.

Catra, hello. I thought you might enjoy the show as much as I.

[ /Filter ]

[ Filtered to Caleb ]

As the random swears in a language I don't speak have ceased, am I given to understand that whatever was upsetting you yesterday is no longer doing so?

[ /Filter ]

Looking for community input since Google doesn't always cut it and I still don't really trust it after That One Time -

1. Who came up with the whole dad shorts/Hawaiian shirt fashion combo? Why? I'm not judging, I'm just trying to understand.

2. Passed the whole motorcycle safety thing and am ~legally cleared~ to buy a bike but those things are pricey and just blew money on a vacation and 438438 shark steaks for vengeance. Better to get one used? Should I buy a junky one and get it worked on over time? I don't know where to start, I want one now.

3. Mattresses are too soft. We've been through like, two because I have claws. Do I need to get this shit enchanted or something? Do they make sturdier mattresses for the not-fully human folk?

[ Filtered Against Maleficent ]

My boyfriend has been transformed into a bird. No spell of mine does anything to correct this.

When you heroic lot gather to take down that Party City knockoff beldam, I'm accompanying you. I realize I'm not on a defense team, and I'm still relatively new here, but I can fight, and fight rather well, and some people just need to get their throats ripped out after certain transgressions.

I don't want to have to put newspaper on the floor in case he has an accident. You understand. That's just not living.

Being torn from ones world is rarely a happy affair, but I've always been one to turn every situation around into my favor.

Considering this place is without any sort of ruler I've decided to take that position for myself.

Feel free to leave any grievances with that below. They will be ignored but I know peasants enjoy their griping.

Jacob says I need to rally the troops for Fight Club. Giving pep talks pretty fucking far down the list of things I'm amazing at, but to be fair, there's a fucking lot of things I'm amazing at, so something has to be down the list I guess. Even if they're all the same level of amazing, somethings get listed later than others.

Since the Fryes are my workplace proximity associates, here you go. I know there are lots of you who have been like, that guy Diego, totally hot, but an asshole (both true), I want to kick his ass (unlikely). At Fight Club, you can try. And probably fail, but whatever, that's on you, this is the best way to do it and win money for second or third place. If you're like, well, eventually I would like to try to kick his ass, we do training too. So, sign up, try to kick my ass.

End of pep talk.

Wait. Hold up.

You're telling me that because I agreed to give you my name, I get to live in one of these eat-the-rich apartments? What's the catch? Are you tracking my every movement now? Because I don't want to have to give this up. I was expecting some slumlord digs with flickering lights and instead I get this?

Sure, Vallo. I'll take it.

I'm not saying that Vallo has a greater-than-average risk-taking population, but I am saying that my idea of wrapping up some ~mystery~ books here at Chastity's Nook and describing them only by their genre, theme and kink seems to be really taking off.

In other news, the salt and pepper's gone curiously missing from the flat. I've seen people complaining on the network about things just disappearing - including whole buildings, which I can only imagine - but nevertheless, I'm confident in griping about my own loss in miniature. I had to eat salt-less scrambled eggs this morning, and it was exactly as beastly as you might imagine, and I think I need some sympathy.

[ Filtered to Caroline Forbes, Simon can read but not comment (for Simon is best seen and not heard)]

So it goes without saying, but thank you for your patience and continued pretending that I was not, in fact, the idiot whose private searches re: vampirism were made public. I've been hiding it for a long time - most of my remembered life, actually - and despite my attempts at subtlety with you I'm certain it was bloody obvious (Simon Snow is on this filter; he figured it out ages ago because he is as nosy as he is obnoxiously attractive).

At any rate, I'm not interested in vampire therapy or group talk or whatnot; I'm not terribly interested in vampires at all. But having to go to the forest for dinner is ruining my shoes, and I was wondering if there are any alternative processes discreetly available for those of us who don't drink human blood?

TUESDAY, MARCH 23 (EVENING)

simon & baz
It would have been, Baz would later reflect, an awfully sexy move had it not concluded with Simon’s ass poking out of a bush.

LOCATION: Not too far into the forest
WARNINGS: None! Just finding the sword of mages!!

( Read more... )

[ attached image ]
This is the first toy Henruit hasn't destroyed in three days flat.

Whoever was looking for cool sword poses, hit me up and I'll help you out.

noct.
Any fishing spot is romantic, fyi - long as you're there.

Well, as it's been nearly three weeks since we've arrived and I've seen no sign that you lot are planning on either sacrificing us or indoctrinating us into what amounts to a fanged MLM cult, I can only assume that you're playing the long game. I can respect that. I was once kidnapped for three months and nothing happened, literally nothing, so I suppose my patience has been honed.

A few updates - I'm looking for employment. I considered returning to school, but all enquiries seem to indicate that it won't transfer to home and I refuse to take "Macroeconomic Variables and Markets" more than once because I love myself. I may be interested in taking a music course or two - hobby - but my primarily concern presently is clothing. All I have to call my own is this hideous Target ensemble I picked up back home and some panic boxers I purchased when I first arrived here. I've seen your shops on the Main Street, and some of them are... acceptable, but I'd like to know where you lot enjoy shopping. If you suspect you're probably unqualified to answer this question, you are.

[ Filtered to Chastity's Nook ]

Hello, my name's Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, and with any luck you'll never have need to use it again: Baz is fine. I've left behind my CV when I was in your store yesterday afternoon. If you have an opening for a job I'd be very interested in taking it, as we're down to peanut butter and crackers in the pantry, and my standards for cuisine are higher than that. Back home, I'm working on my degree (economics) at university and in school I was top of my graduating class. Reading's a hobby of mine, and magic a way of life. I enjoy organization to the point where it drives my boyfriend insane, and I have a bright, filthy mind. I survived a truly stupefying amount of garbage and if I encountered a murder turkey in the hallowed halls of your store, I wouldn't hesitate.

Thank you for your consideration.

MARCH 1, EVENING

SIMON SNOW & BAZ GRIMM-PITCH
“I’m glad I’ve ruined obligation.”

location: Morningside
WARNINGS: NONE, THEY'RE JUST FIGHTING

( Read more... )

I guess SOME people don't appreciate BEING ACCOSTED being asked: "what's your deal?" on the streets by strangers. But if you offer it up then I'm not asking and you're giving the answer and no one has to get angry. You were right Baz, but I'm not going to ADMIT that you were

So consider this your opening to say what your deal is without being asked if you want. I'm normal, but I have wings I don't have to hide wings I have a TAIL not completely and not always.

As far as modes of travel go, at least this isn't driving across the American Midwest. I'll give it that. And Crowley knows I've had worse kidnappings. Video producers, Snow liked your explosions; art house he is not. But this is still a lot to take on faith, or even under duress. I suppose that's beside the point.

Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch. Call me Baz. I hear we missed murder turkeys.

Oh look, Snow; it's Valentines Day. Wouldn't you know it, I left your chocolates in the void.

tw: discussion of pregnancy in comments

Things I didn't miss:

Nearly burning down the house trying to make a Thanksgiving dinner.

Things I am missing:

Black Friday. I need new boots and do not want to pay full retail thank you very much.

((pls to ignore the tag dump on this))