vallo

This is a test post

Good morning, folks, we are back online. Sorry about the outage - it's not a security breach this time, just an update that went a little sideways.

If you run into anybody who can't get back on, tell them to do what the sign on my door says: turn your device off and back on again, and if that fails, delete the application and reinstall.

ETA: And while I've got you here, now is always a good time to change your passphrase. And YES, it still has to be at least 16 characters, that rule is not going anywhere.

ETA2: This is also your reminder to never let your device leave your person. This network is only as secure as we make it.

Well. At least the whiplash doesn't feel as bad the second time around.

The Ides of March are upon us. And while I'm as stab-happy as the next person, and Caesar probably deserved it by at least one of those senators because men, we're not celebrating the death of a Roman dictator but the birthday of Henry Cheng, who would only appreciate if we did it in style.

Mandatory: wearing a toga. Not mandatory: owning your own toga because sheets will be provided if you wimp out. Location: Monmouth. Gansey pulled the pool table out and bought unnecessary Roman-style chaises. I'm not going to stop anyone from wanting to be historically accurate either, but I draw the line at not wearing undergarments. Those are required to be on for entry.

[ Filtered to Brigitte ]

I heard a rumor you persist in having an abysmal work/life balance.

Your onboarding is efficient, I’ll give you that.  Government red tape at home would’ve had me sitting in a waiting room and filling out forms for at least three days. And the apartment is, well. No offense, but it’s kind of ridiculous. I’ve spent months on entire spaceships smaller than that apartment. Your budget probably needs a massive overhau

Anyway. Uh I’ve never been very good at social media Thank you. For explaining the situation and telling me where to find Tennal Halkana. A few more days and he’d probably have charmed his way to the head of a gang or been exiled into the woods and tracking him down would’ve been a lot harder. I’m better at catching farm animals than people.

Oh. My name’s is Surit.  So. Yeah. Hello.

I'm going to have to just go ahead and purchase one of those fancy espresso machines for anyone who has assisted me with my return to Vallo, because at this rate I'm never going to be able to afford coffees for everyone who has gotten me back into my various locked accounts.

I'm very sorry. We didn't have computers where I'm from. We had guards, and you could usually just kill those when you wanted past them. We're all learning together.

While I can't say I'm entirely displeased by the overnight additions to my garden it is still a little disconcerting how things appear from thin air on the whims of a magic that none of us know how it works. I can't imagine getting used to all that anytime soon.

That 'Welcome to Vallo' video is even better the second time around.

[FILTERED TO FRIENDS OF BLUE]

If you weren't already aware, Blue's birthday is this Thursday. I have a room booked at Destruction Junction at 7pm on Friday, it's themed, but all you have to bring is yourselves if you'd like to attend. You'll have to sign a liability waiver but this specific theme is more meant for fun than danger.

There will be food (not pizza) and cake in abundance for everyone to enjoy after, at Monmouth. It's only partially furnished at the moment but there's at least a pool table and couches for "hanging out".

[FILTERED TO BLUE]

I didn't want to presume to take the liberty of packing a bag for you or trying anything too spontaneous, so would you be open to being kidnapped on Thursday? I took the entire day off.

filtered to thurvishar

I have a question for you, if you have some time.

I witnessed a sad scene on the beach this morning, so for those of you who are new to living on an island:

If someone suggests that you should feed the seagulls, they are attempting a prank. Don't feed the seagulls. Don't interact with the seagulls at all if you can help it. Any seagull will fight the Void itself for half a crust of bread and it will shit on everything the entire time.



[Thurvishar]
Transmutation of Solids was dry as bone. I thought about throwing it in the sea as a favor to mankind, but I returned it to your shelf. Do you have any books on the subject that won't threaten death by boredom and pedantry within 27 pages?

No additional movement on the man who was collecting fingernails from the salon's trash. I begin to suspect that rather than attempting ritual magic, he's just insane.

Well, I certainly picked an interesting week to arrive in.

kratos.
I will be leaving for a few hours if you'd like to check in on Atreus and his friend. I would prefer you were gone by the time I return.

Good morning (is it morning yet?), Vallo:

As this appears to be related to a magical spell or curse, the Department of Magical Research and those associated with it are aiding investigations into what happened and how to resolve it. Below the cut are the names of everyone I am aware of that fell ill during yesterday's Moon Day festivities. If you recall a name that is not on this list, please share it, along with any other information that you might have as to timing, initial symptoms, etc.

Thank you for your assistance.

( List of the Affected )

an excerpt from Lady Boyle's Travel Guide: Serkonos, Chapter 4 - Surviving the Serkonan Sun:


1. Wear loose, lightweight fabrics. Leave the wool in Gristol if you want to survive your summer holiday by the crystal blue sea. Cotton and linen will become your new closest companions.
2. But not too close! Those poufy blouses and wide sleeves on the women and men of Karnaca aren't just for style - the more air flow you can get, the happier you'll be.
3. Think twice before baring everything. You may see a Cullero dockworker going shirtless all day and think "I shall abandon my wardrobe entirely!" without considering that your delicate Dunwall skin is not inured to the heat and the sun's constant rays. Take it from a lady who has suffered sunstroke: keep covered or weep.
4. Hats have not been the fashion in Dunwall for some time, but they are a practical necessity if you must be about on the southern isle. A broad brim will provide much-needed shade for the face no matter where you may find yourself standing.
5. Time your activities according to the sun! If you wish to take a hike on Shindaery Peak, start at first light and finish before the sun reaches its zenith. If you want to enjoy the food stalls in Cyria Gardens, venture out at sunset and enjoy your fried plantains as you watch the lantern-lighting that come with dusk. What to do in the afternoon? Enjoy the lovely local tradition of the afternoon nap.
6. Water and juice will serve you far better than champagne in the heat (though I must recommend the champagne and peach cocktail they serve at the Grand Karnaca Hotel). Keep drinking to keep yourself in enough sweat to cool your body as it evaporates.
7. Enjoy smaller meals with only moderate amounts of meat (if any). The work of digestion raises the heat of the body! Spread it out over the day as much as you can; there's a reason Serkonos invented Small Plates!
8. Not one place in any town will be running the ovens or stovetops in the heat of the day, and you shouldn't, either. It's hot enough without creating extra sources of it.
9. Treat yourself to a basin of cool water for soaking your feet at the end of the day. It will cool you off for sleep and feel positively divine!
10. And finally, when choosing a hotel room, look for one on the ground floor. Heat rises, and accordingly upstairs rooms are particularly upsetting in a Serkonan summer. For maximum beauty sleep, stay low and shaded.

Hope that helps. Complain less, nap more.

So that uh, parade this morning? Is that sort of thing normal here? Like a lot of girls kissing girls and guys kissing guys with everybody being good with it? Cause-- cool. That's very rad. Robin w

But uh hey, it's Steve again. I figured out how to use this thing better, so thanks for the help. Does anybody know where I can get lessons on how to swing those huge swords around, so El stops staring at me like I can't handle it? I'm good with a lot of weapons! Especially the swinging part.

Now that the jello-monster siege has subsided, I suppose I ought to introduce myself. Enzo St. John, new arrival. Thrilled to be here, truly. Even with the barrage of angry creatures and magical mishaps.

[ Filtered to Sara, Shiro ]

I received an unusual note in my office earlier this week - unusual both in its contents and in the fact that it was delivered without setting off my wards. While I have a suspicion as to who left it, its content is the more concerning matter:

[ Transcript of this note follows ]

'Magical energy of blood' is rarely a sentence that goes well for anyone. I've discovered references to The Morrigan's Grail, and it's a local legend. My library only goes so far in these matters, and so I'm going to ask Sabrina and Bonnie to lean on a few favors with regard to Vallo research. I ask that you consider your most stealthy defense squad team members and assign them to monitor the area with the upmost discretion, given the delicacies of the circumstances. This might be nothing. Our luck, however, rarely runs in that direction.

[ Filtered to Bonnie, Sabrina ]

I've a need of a local collection - specifically regarding urban legends and historical artifacts from Vallo's past. Could either of you please facilitate this request for me with a knowledgeable and prudent coven contact?

[ Filtered to Daud ]

Catch anything good lately?

So, Wanda and I are getting married this weekend. She's been working on catering the whole thing (including baking the cake) because my diet is very weird these days. But I wanted to give a snippet into what it looks like, catering your own wedding reception:

( cut for pics )

The last one was right when something literally crawled away from her and the second to last is my new phone background, mostly because it was accompanied by "get the fuck away from me, Stephen."

(Yes, I'm helping and not just being a snarky asshole taking pictures.)

[filtered to friends & family]

We'll see you Saturday on the mountain around sunset, just meet at the base and transportation up will be provided unless you want to climb a mountain for some reason. Plus ones all invited, you can bring multiple plus ones if you want. I'll be working some magical physics to allow for enough space and then just walk through the portal(s) back to the Sanctum for a party once we nervously say vows and probably cry. Cloak will conveniently be a hankie for me, and I'm grateful for that.

HI I'M NEW AND I CANT GET CAPS TO TURN OFF? IS THIS USUAL HERE OR? BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M SHOUTING AND I HONESTLY ONLY SHOUT AT LIKE 3 PEOPLE AND YOU'RE NOT MADISON, LOGAN OR VINNY VAN LOWE. PROBABLY.

THE NAMES VERONICA MARS, SORRY TO SHOUT.

ALSO HAS ANYONE HERE SEEN ANYONE NAMED MAC OR WALLACE OR LOGAN? I THINK I SAW A CENTAUR WALKING DOWN THE STREET JUST NOW. WHICH...I GUESS IS NORMAL HERE? I NEED TO READ THIS PAMPHLET BETTER PROBABLY.

I'M DEFINITELY NOT IN NEPTUNE ANYMORE.