vallo

Well, I'm officially enrolled in three classes to audit this fall. I've also been added to a group chat called 8 AM Calsses Should B Illegal - spelled just like that. Not really sure what that says about my soon to be classmates.

There's a Sunwing from my world that showed up, I'm not sure how long it's been here. But for those of you who were here when a whole Cauldron showed up, this is not that. At least as far as I can tell this seems to be an isolated machine. One I can override and fly around on, which feels more like Vallo being nice than Vallo being mean and dropping a bunch of out of control machines on us.

Unfortunately an animal interrupted my attempt to override it earlier today and I've since lost track of it. I'm hoping someone might have seen it? Please do not approach. As long as you give it space it should not become aggressive, but will defend itself if you approach too close.

Photo for reference.

Oi! Did someone loose a goat? I found this gal chomping on some bushes in the forest this morning:

[Photo of a goat seemingly chasing the photographer wanting to head butt him]

She looks like she really needs to be milked, but she won't let me near her. Actually, she keeps trying to head butt me!

[another photo of the goat chasing the photographer]

Funny thing, though, she kind of smells like mead? Does goat's milk taste like mead? Is that a thing I've been missing this entire time?

[third photo of the goat - super close up of her face]

Aside from wanting to headbutt me, she seems nice. Does she belong to anyone? I don't want to leave her out here by herself.

Hello. I am Spock.

I have familiarized myself with your communications device and message board. Please correct me if message board is an inaccurate descriptor of your communication interface. I am still becoming accustomed to the features and limitations of local technology and wish to be precise.

I have additional queries for the Outlander population should anyone have the expertise and inclination to answer them. For the sake of efficiency I did not wish to take anymore of the DOA's time than necessary.

[...]

Thank you.

Mark your calendars, nerds! Enki Coven just scheduled a rare public event: a Physics of Transfiguration Magic lecture by Professor Marcus Islington. 18 August, 4 p.m., at the MageNet Auditorium, Q&A included, reception to follow. Tickets are free and available for purchase by anyone regardless of coven membership status, but you will need one for entry to the lecture.

[Filtered to Murderbot]
What would you say to taking a vacation?
[/filter]


[OOC: this post has been edited to remove the cover charge, this is now a free event]

I said it last year, but apparently I have to say it again this year, since people keep asking: there are no oysters in the summer. This is oyster spawning season. If you got oysters now, they would be soupy and disgusting, and you would be preventing future generations of oysters. This also goes for mussels. Get some damned shrimp and scallops and wait for the Month of Harvest September.

While I'm making announcements: Do not waste your time reading The Outlander's Lady by Belladonna Seward. It's clearly written by someone who never stopped to talk to any of us, and the "plot" is just a thin excuse for increasingly dramatic sex.

[Filtered to Thor]
I just spent forty more dollars on plants. This is your fault.

[ Filtered to People Over the Age of 18 ]

Hello, children? Any tiny children? No? No children? Great, the fucking filter worked. I've got a lot to process here; children are the antithesis of process, and fuck, you people have a lot of them.

Okay, right, introduce myself: I'm Avicenna, new person, from a crap world (like apparently a-l-l of you, holy shit) but alternate universes are also like, known so while my whelm is on the high side of 'over', I'm picking up what you're putting down, and I have about-- ten fucking MILLION questions but okay, this place is apparently "super amazing supportive and awesome" so I'll just go for this one: I don't want a free bagel (whatever that is); what I want are glasses so I can fucking see all of this weirdness. Do you guys do glasses? Free healthcare? What kind of utopia are we in exactly? Do I need to blow someone? Because I'll definitely need to see to do that right; we've got ourselves a real quagmire. I need details on your medical system and currency, thanks bye.

Also: your network is neat. I tried to break it three times and some autonomaton who called itself Deathface or whatever threatened to kill me, so, gearing up for time #4.

I've been looking at the college and university here and have a question if anyone has tried to do the same. Do you have to pick a major and work towards a degree or can you just take classes that interest you?

We've been home for a couple of weeks now and it feels like I'm finally settling back into my normal routines which I know my very particular child is happy about. There was a lot to process and unpack about our brief trip to that future, but the one takeaway that's stuck with me is that there's too little time to spend it stuck in the future--or the past. Which feels a bit too introspective for this early on a Friday morning, honestly, but here we are. Serving up a bit of gratitude for the present alongside fresh chocolate croissants this morning.

So here's my Friday morning question to the rest of my fellow Outlanders: Besides the obvious choice of indoor plumbing, what are you glad for here that you don't have where you came from?

Vallo just decided to get me a few-days-early Eid gift. I mean... maybe not, maybe it just showed up but I'm taking this as an early Eid-Ul-Fitr gift.

I got my whole desktop setup from home! And it's all got all my stuff in there, photoshop and animation programs I've had, videos I've made, important music clips and all, some pirated movies even.. I just woke up and THERE IT WAS!


Sloth Baby Productions on YouTube can resume in a new setting. I'm thinking I should start with videos of crazy stuff that happens here so newbies can be like "oh that's what you meant by the geese incident".

While the threat may be gone there are quite a few places in rough shape after recent events. A lot of farms are struggling with cleaning up to get back on track for spring planting coming up. If you have some spare time over the next little I'm sure they'd appreciate any help they can get. I'll put names/coordinates in this post.

Mess with the timeline, get a bunch of blasts from the past I guess. If you see these asshole pests hanging out with some corrupted, creepy witches, they're from my world. Nightmares and Revenants, and they can be really annoying to fight.

Nightmares: Stunning them and shooting them from a distance is how I do it, but father is really good at grabbing them and yeeting them into the sun. Either works! Just know they're really fast, shoot magic projectiles, and dodge really well.

Revenants: Blind them and stun them, they can teleport short distances, and seem to be pretty amped up right now. Don't let them get the drop on you and hit them with everything you've got if they're in one place. If all else fails, father would yeet them too.

I'll be out in the forest all day today with Fenrir, if you need help, send up a magic flare or shoot me a ping!

Well. At least the whiplash doesn't feel as bad the second time around.

Queer Women with Sharp Objects, we must meet because I am going through a withdraw of both. This weekend? Friday night? Both?

Once again, I provide the following frequently asked questions:

Q. What do you define as queer?
A. Good news for all, I do not, you define yourself and if anyone tries to give you shit about it, I have been told I have 'big step on me' energy (which is true, and I will step) (on necks) (or whatever else).

Q. What is a sharp weapon?
A. Traditionally, this comes in the form of something with a blade component--examples include but are not limited to axes, knives, swords, war fans, scythes, but please, be creative. I love to see it.

Q. I have never used a sharp weapon before, does that matter?
A. No, not particularly. I would not recommend attempting one without tutelage, but I know there are many qualified people who are ready and able to assist. At the worst, you will learn what is not for you. At the best, who knows!

Q. Will there be drinks and snacks.
A. Yes, absolutely, though perhaps not at the same time as the sharp weapon using. Although again, who is to say.

* posted after they have dealt with the cauldron

Any machines still left should no longer be hostile, or at least that's what we saw near the cauldron site. If anyone finds otherwise please let me know and I will come deal with it.

I'd like to say a thank you to everyone who took care of the hostile machines and watched my back today. I appreciate it. If there is anything I can help you with in exchange, do not hesitate to let me know.

It appears some of the machines from my world have been spotted in Vallo today. I am attaching a run down of the various machine classes and types and a visual of each, as well as their known weaknesses and attack strategies for each machine. Be aware that while some may appear docile and may be following their terraforming and harvesting protocols there are many that will turn aggressive should they spot you. If you are not a capable fighter I recommend keeping a very wide distance and not engaging with any of them.

If you spot any and are able to safely take a photo or observe please let me know where you found them and what they look like so I can figure out which machines Vallo has deemed fit to bring.

They are not sentient creatures and while overriding them temporarily to not attack is possible I do not recommend relying on that or expecting to be able to reason with them.

[ attached the the post is a data download which will essentially be all the information from the wiki for each machine ]

filtered to DOA.
In my world the machines self replicate. I am uncertain what exactly is the root of this current situation, but there are places in my world that create the machines. We called them Cauldrons. I am uncertain if that is what has appeared to have the machines here now, or if this is simply Vallo bringing the machines themselves.

Uh, Aloy?

Does this belong to you?



Cause it definitely tried to laser my face off just now and there's a bunch of them in the forest.

Nothing has tried to eat me all morning, so I'm hoping that this mimic thing is over? Anyone else have anything try to eat them today? (I mean mimics, not whatever kinky stuff you get up to otherwise.)

In spirit of it being October (and expanding Aloy's pop culture knowledge), we're doing a Midnight Mass three night binge up on the rooftop, starting tonight around 10 PM. BYOB and blankets/chairs since it's kind of cold. I'm ordering Chinese tonight and the haunted popcorn machine will be back!

[ FILTERED TO ATREUS ]
Hey, remember my baby sea monster and how we were going to work on moving her when she was big enough to hang out with the big boys? Kailani's big enough now. She still seems pretty happy with her tank wall, but I want to get her moved before she gets uncomfortable. I was going to move her to a lake at the Dragon Preserve, but then Charlie got sent back and you have actual sea creatures that could keep her company. Would you be okay with hosting her?

[ FILTERED TO JAKE PENTECOST ]
You alive? How are things with your sister?

Today, I learned that "fog machines" are a thing that actually exist. Here I was asking around for mages specializing in creating odorless smoke who wanted to make my Keep smoky for about 5-6 hours for Halloween. I know very little magic! For all I know, smoke mages could have been a thing!

Moral of the story is that modern technology is amazing and renting fog machines is a lot cheaper than I was expecting. I did manage to get a 25% discount, but even at full price it would have been reasonable.

Come to our party! Pretend the fog is magical and mysterious!

I arrived today, and I have seen my brother, I have eaten ramen, and froyo that defies all reason, and I have lear inspected the Jaegers (they look very good but need less Jake-wallpaper on the inside). It's been a very full day and there are still many hours left. I need to not

How do you all keep busy? Give me your most interesting ways to pass the time in this unusual place, please.