vallo

Lots of new people lately.

Hi new people. I’m Thom. Have an important question for you to answer now that you’re here in Vallo.

How many three year olds could you reasonably take in a fight?

Alright I've wandered about and remembered a bit more. I have missed the food. And the lack of horse shit on the street. And I suppose all the layabouts living on my train.

Or at least I would've missed those things if I remembered this place yesterday. Anyway, let's not talk about the eye patch, alright? I've felt sorry for myself enough for one day. Come by the club for a drink on me. Or a punch if that's more your style. I doubt I'll be here long enough for the matches to roll around.

I'm glad you're all here. I don't have the workshop anymore, but I make do with whatever we can get at the compound. Recovery operations are successful pretty often. Viktor's working out of our second location. So if you need to arm up at all, patch any armor, or need gadgets and devices set up, I'm still here to help.

It goes without saying that we're relying pretty heavily on you all, I hope that's not too much stress. But I firmly believe that together we can do this. I don't think the stakes have ever been higher, if that's any motivation.

[OOC - Please note that in any visuals, Essek has longer hair and an eyepatch over his left eye with visible scarring on that side of his face/ear/head k ty bye.]

This is so awkwa Figured out time travel, but did not plan how to

Hello. It feels odd to introduce myself as many of you already know me, but I am Essek Widogast and I'm here with Caleb (also) Widogast. If my husband's perfect recall can be relied upon, which I am willing to stake most everything on it, the versions of us that you know normally should still be deep within the Aeor that was brought to Vallo, being very much themselves while surrounded by ancient Exandrian magic and technology.

Which is to say, and I'm doing a poor job of getting to the point, we are from a different timeline and time. A few hours ago, we were in 2033 within a branch of the future that is hopefully not your own. The Temporal Concurrence and the aligning of the leylines does, it seem, allow for some otherwise so-called impossible magic when one(s) puts many months of work into entirely too many sleepless nights their wizard mind(s) to it.

I cannot promise to keep a long story short as there are many moving parts and I tend to be accidentally verbose in the best of times, but I think many of you may remember the attack from Interitus that happened in August of 2021. He was not as gone as we had all hoped and is now wreaking havoc upon my and Caleb's timeline. Thanks to the concurrence and the influx of magic, our intel is advising that he is planning on ascending beyond his current form into something akin to godhood. Should he do so, his powers will be made more or less limitless and there will be no stopping him from traveling freely within timelines to destroy every version of Vallo, as has been his will all along. Our version has just been practice for him.

As for why we have broken through literal time and space to visit the past, we are seeking aid. This has already been discussed with the DOA, but there are a few things that we are here for specifically.

First, Interitus is using a simulacrum of sorts as a power focus, which has allowed him to bide his time in our world and eventually build up enough power in secret to take over. We believe that this simulacrum had already arrived in March of 2023--in February, specifically. We do not know where, but our hope is that you fine people will be able to locate and destroy it, specifically at the height of the concurrence to not give away our plans.

Second, Caleb and I are in search of a very specific tome from the Great Library. We unfortunately do not have access to the Library in our time as you do now, but we believe that the tome we are looking for has information regarding locating the object needed to pierce through Interitus's magical defenses. If any librarian friends are willing to volunteer to help with that, as we do need this before we return to our time tomorrow, it would be greatly appreciated.

Finally, and I realize that this is the largest ask of them all, a vision from one of the Prigany psychics has shown us that there are specific people in the future that aid in the efforts. Our understanding is that these people come to us from your timeline and travel to our own. We have a list of those people, who I will be filtering separately with more information. Please know there is no expectation. We are not here to force anyone to help, regardless of psychic visions.

This is long and a great deal of information for a Monday, I understand. Caleb and I are here to answer any questions that we can--at least those questions that do not pose more harm to the timelines than our being here already might.

FILTER TO AURORA MORNINGSTAR, BILLY KAPLAN, BO DENNIS, COBB VANTH, DANIEL ARLINGTON, GALADRIEL HIGGINS, GANSEY, GLADIO AMICITIA, IRIS AMICITIA, KATOU YUE, KELLACH DONNALLEN, KRATOS, LAN XICHEN, LILA PITTS, LYDIA MARTIN, ORYM, OSTYIA RABALSKA, REMUS LUPIN, ROGIER, SAM WILSON, SARA LANCE, STEVE HARRINGTON, TALLY CRAVEN, TENNAL HALKANA, THOM SUMMER, TYLER LOCKWOOD, VEX'AHLIA + CALEB WIDOGAST

( OOC cut because I know this is getting long I AM SORRY. )

Queer Women with Sharp Objects, we must meet because I am going through a withdraw of both. This weekend? Friday night? Both?

Once again, I provide the following frequently asked questions:

Q. What do you define as queer?
A. Good news for all, I do not, you define yourself and if anyone tries to give you shit about it, I have been told I have 'big step on me' energy (which is true, and I will step) (on necks) (or whatever else).

Q. What is a sharp weapon?
A. Traditionally, this comes in the form of something with a blade component--examples include but are not limited to axes, knives, swords, war fans, scythes, but please, be creative. I love to see it.

Q. I have never used a sharp weapon before, does that matter?
A. No, not particularly. I would not recommend attempting one without tutelage, but I know there are many qualified people who are ready and able to assist. At the worst, you will learn what is not for you. At the best, who knows!

Q. Will there be drinks and snacks.
A. Yes, absolutely, though perhaps not at the same time as the sharp weapon using. Although again, who is to say.

I will take any and all recommendations on a forge that creates reputable weaponry, and whatever places exist where you can act out violently but doesn't include murder or arrest from the law. I'll pass on simulations.

Thank you.

Thank you, Vallo, for four months of exile.

Anyone want to give me the Spark Notes version of what I've missed since the end of September?

Hell of a time, yes? You are all welcome to the wine in the cellar for the foreseeable future, though it will need to be during the operating hours of the Underground.

But if you don't drink, like certain knife-throwing fathers-to-be that I know, you can go wish Vax a happy birthday before he forgets it's his birthday.

JACOB AND EVIE.

We can talk about it. Or we can continue to brush it under the rug and move on. I do think you know what my preference would be.

[FILTERED TO EVIE, SEREFIN, DIEGO, VAX, OSTYIA, LILA, ELLA, SARA, VI]

Right so, now that I'm not nursing a busted head and my shoulder survived fight club, I think it's safe to extend you all an invitation to an epic night of laser tag. I won that charity auction thing a while back and then immediately got beat up by mushrooms so I had to wait on this. Anyway, it's only for 10 people so consider yourselves very special. Thinking I'll set it up for Wednesday night if no one has any complaints. Could wait for the weekend but I'm an impatient prat. Let me know if you can or can't go so I can harass you one way or the other. Cheers.

I'm going to have to just go ahead and purchase one of those fancy espresso machines for anyone who has assisted me with my return to Vallo, because at this rate I'm never going to be able to afford coffees for everyone who has gotten me back into my various locked accounts.

I'm very sorry. We didn't have computers where I'm from. We had guards, and you could usually just kill those when you wanted past them. We're all learning together.

bro some of them explode with acid

not the drug kind

but i am on drugs

just not acid.



bo did i tell you that your cleavage looks banging today?

Okay so

Before Vallo swooped us up there was this incident with a chainsaw and a got some magic mumbo-jumbo spilled into my arm that became this rash. It was gross, tried putting stuff on it to make it go away but it kinda just stuck around but then Christmas happened and my skin absorbed the rash and now I have what I think are glamour powers??

Whaddup, 2023. Miracles happen.

Currently playing around with hair colors since I have no idea what I'm doing what's happening but I'm keeping my wig collection for now.

That 'Welcome to Vallo' video is even better the second time around.

Filtered to Ostyia

So now that I've had a few days to recover from my beating at Fight Club (body and ego), chased some lights and wound up with LED rabbit ears, and finished my Christmas shopping...

How do you feel about Round 2?

Hey guys. So uh, first thing on the docket is that the Sanctuary Fundraiser Event will be next weekend! All day on the 10th we'll have a Solstice-themed fundraiser festival here, come on by! Pet the animals! Donate to a good cause! Get.. spanked?

Speaking of! We're currently looking for um, a designated spanker for the spanking booth Oh my gods why did we. It pays $500, no creepers allowed, and includes a lunch and breaks. So! That's a thing! That came up with when we were drinking and apparently, it raised a lot of money for Silniara Coven at their festival a few years ago, so now we have to do it, I guess! If you're looking to make a little money and get to spank willing people, inquire within.

( Unfiltered but cut for potential Ragnarok spoilers, and there probably will be spoilers in comments! )

PROS FOR MONDAY: Got my entire wardrobe from home, finally.

CONS FOR MONDAY: My room is overrun. This closet space is only big enough to hold a fart.


Throwing it out there, but if dinosaurs are your thing you should subscribe to my channel where I pose hotly in an inflatable t-rex costume and dance around the pole. There's no nudity. Think it's ridiculous? You're absolutely right, it is, but I promise you I've been making a killing off people being into weird things so judge me all you want. I'm flush with $$$$$. Best job I've ever had.

FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND OTHERWISE KNOWN ASSOCIATES OF JACOB AND EVIE FRYE.

Clear your schedules for the evening if they are not already empty. We have a birthday to celebrate.

So never wear a costume again. Got it. Shoutout to the Black Widow, Robin, and was that the Crow?? For the assist against the killer Jack-O-Lanterns. Getting covered in pumpkin guts officially killed my love for PSLs.

Hey Lord of Dreams and Nightmares, can Gregory come over and play? I made something for him.

[ FILTERED TO JADE WESKER ]
I want to say than- no fuck this

Thank you for your he-gfhlkjf NO

I'm glad you weren't enough of a bi- Ugh gotta be nice NICE

Thanks. For the blood.

Can I interest anyone in some wine? I've opened too many bottles and have consumed absolutely none of them. They'll go to waste, and that will only be salt in the wound.

ATTENTION SINGLE PEOPLE.

How many of you are out there, and are you looking to potentially be not single, or at least have a few drinks and meet new people?

I am looking into the possibility of hosting the next speed dating event, and want to figure out if there's any interest in it.

For those of you who are concerned that a Norse goddess who grew up in a dome in the Apocalypse who ended up with one of the other people stuck in there (shock) and has never had to really date in her life, has no business hosting a dating event, no worries. I'm supplying the space and alcohol, and bringing in someone who knows what they're doing to consult on the actual event logistics.

Please advise.