vallo

Hey folks, so it's been a week of us quietly enjoying this life update, but just wanted to say that I'm probably the luckiest guy around because Dorian agreed to marry me.

That said, no details have been set yet but we would like to celebrate with our people here in Vallo and were hoping that you might all join us for dinner and drinks—and a little theater, because it only feels right to do this at a classy establishment like Taste of Tal'Dorei. Don't worry, Exandrians. Already cleared it to make sure the show that night doesn't feature any present company or friends back home. Safe for one night.

So if you're free next Saturday at 7 and would like some food and alcohol (or not alcohol) on us, we really hope to see your faces.

With the holiday coming up, do we need to make a list of costumes that people are planning on donning themselves in should we have a repeat of previous years and we have some oddities occurring and running around the streets and forest?

It feels responsible, but I also understand should we be embracing chaos.

DOA FOLKS

Hey, hope you all had a good Monday so far. Before Brenda finds out and tells everyone it gets around, I wanted to just let you all know that after a lot of thinking and considering, I put my notice in today. I'll still be doing defense as usual, but I put in my notice today for my job as the Outlander rep.

That said, it will be a bit before I'm fully gone as I'm going to stick around to help with finding a replacement and getting them onboarded, so it's not an immediate thing but I know that news can spread and I wanted you all to hear it from me first.

Anyway, I brought in some pie and it's in the break room if you're interested or want to take some home with you.

BELLS HELLS

Okay, it's officially official. I put in my notice at work. It will be a while before I'm fully done, but after spending so much time thinking it over the last month, it feels good to have taken the first step.

CHETNEY

Unrelated to that, I was wondering if you'd help me with something.

Listen I just want to go on the record and say I'm a GNOME that's different than the LEPRECHAUNS that are going around giving folks like myself a bad name. I like candy, same as anyone, and I like a fight, maybe more than some, but I only get in houses via chimney I ain't going door to door asking for things.

Just making sure there ain't no false information out there.

hello!!!!!! it's me Orym of the air ashari

did you guys know you have flower dogs here

🌸🐕🌻🐶

FRIENDS + FAMILY OF VAX & GILMORE (feel free to assume)

Good morning. I'm typing this alongside coffee, so no judgements will be permitted on what I manage to string together.

Shaun and I would like to ask all of you (and a plus one, if your plus one isn't already included here) to join us at our home at 5PM on October 5 to watch us get married. You're all our nearest and dearest and it would be an honor if you'd join us in celebrating something that we've been waiting for the most right moment to do—the most right moment being 5PM on October 5.

Dinner, drinks, and frivolity will follow, obviously. Gifts are not necessary, as your presence is literally all we could ask for. And be comfortable. I'm not wearing a tie, so I expect no one else to do it on my behalf.

Anyway, in conclusion: we love you all and we hope to see you there.

Hey fun fucking facts for today:

1. So you can call them a flock of turkeys, but they're also called a rafter of turkeys and what the fuck is up with that.

2. Our house is surrounded by a rafter of turkeys. ( cut for image! )

3. They're mean fuckers, shit and damn. I can respect that and all, but also I don't know who in this house offended the turkeys (Chet? Dorian?) but they're currently pecking at the siding and windows and shit. It might be fucking on.

and 4. Letters, don't go outside.

That was certainly one way to exit my 30s.

Everyone go get a piece of pie, or two, or a whole pie. I don't judge, I also don't judge flavors, I only judge if you come in here on the day of my birth and tell me another dessert is better. (I don't discriminate, I just really like pie.)

Hi everyone, my name is Keyleth. I'm here at the DOA with Vax and he's showing me how to use this. It's pretty neat, I wish I had one of these at home. It's very convenient. I don't know what else to write just yet, but... your city is beautiful? The looks, the smells, the design. It's all so nice.

Bells Hells

Alright now. Don't you all be hiding or shoving your face in pie. Let's talk about this like a real family.

Champio Vax'ildan

You up?

[a few moments after this airs for vallo to see]

Fuck.

I have been doing better about losing days, so the fact I just apparently lost several is bullshit. I remember I had a fucked up dream but it's fuzzy as shit and What the fuck is going on?

I know that there is a lot going on and I'm sorry to everyone out there going through it, but--well.

There's a dragon in our yard? It's unlike any dragon I've heard of or seen, which I'll admit my exposure is limited, and it's very beautiful, but it's also just curled around our cherry blossom tree from Zephrah. And I'm also pretty sure it's sleeping? But that's just what it looks like from inside the house, not sure if it's a good idea to approach.

Anyway, advice would be good? I've learned how to handle bulettes, but this is new.

Alright, I don't know what kind of insane shit got Knowhere cursed, but we've got a sudden influx of garden gnomes. Yeah, you read that right: garden gnomes.

And this isn't like "oh, some asshole planted little bearded dude statues around the place for a joke." No. These things are alive and causing as much fucking chaos as they can. They've got weapons, and they yell a lot of vulgar shit in heavy English accents, and they don't go down unless you basically kill them - then they turn into statues again.

Anyway, the six of us are up to our asses in a sea of vindictive garden gnomes over here for some reason, so if anyone wants to get some anger out, head our way. We're trying to figure out if there's some kind of magical beacon or trigger or something right now, so anyone with a head for that kind of thing would be great too.

Please for the love of whatever fucking god actually listens tell me that I'm not the only one seeing a FACE on the FUCKING MOON because frankly I've had enough MOON BULLSHIT to last several lifetimes

and also would prefer my loss of mind to take this kind of shape because FUCK me.

Just wanted to shout out that if you see me around at any of the Pride events and would like a flower crown to add to your look, don't hesitate to ask for one. I make them with magic, so they last until I more or less forever without wilting and I can do them in whatever flowers or colors you like. It's really my one magical party trick, so I'm happy to do it and share the festivities.

For examples of what I can do, here's mine and Dorian's: ( Cut for images! )

Though, as an FYI, I might look a bit different so don't be too alarmed if you see me on the regular? I'm bigger, I mean. It's weird and I don't know what's up with it or how long it will last, but—yeah. It's a thing.

Okay, last year was me figuring out what this pride thing that's coming up is. Big fan. Love to see it. Always wanted to be in a parade.

Alright, no I haven't, but it was fun anyway.

This year, it's time to go all out and I've been working on fits and with some fucking luck (aka pure skill) I'll be set to go early. That said, if anyone else wants to deck themselves out in something all unique and one of a damn kind, hit me up because I enjoy this shit and am here to help, I guess.

Also in all this summer weather-ness, I've perfected frozen margaritas. Nothing more to say about that, I just wanted to brag.

Thanks to Chet, my goal in having more vegetables be eaten per person living in this house is closer to happening: ( Cut for a picture! )

That's mostly broccoli in there, as was requested. Greens are going to be eaten, or so help me.

That threat aside, we've had some coming and going over the last handful of months so I just wanted to issue a reminder/make an announcement, especially now that the weather is pretty consistently beautiful in the mornings: Zeph'aeratam aka Sword Yoga classes continue, if you're so interested! You don't need a sword, you don't even need a weapon, but I guide you through some positions and breathing exercises. There's also breakfast foods for the morning folks and snacks for the evening, if you're interested in such things. It's not even always pie.

Anyway, if you want to see what we're about, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7AM and Thursdays at 6PM, all at the training grounds and totally free.

And if you're just looking for someone to help with sword training, let me throw my nonexistent hat in there, too. If you want a reference, I warn you my main one could be biased.

This is a lot of words, so wrapping it up. Happy end of the week, all.

Hey. Look at this shit. ( Cut for images! )

Fucking great, I know.

Okay, so I have a small problem. Literally.

El and I made this map we’ve been calling Vallo Village, right? And we got Billy to do some magic to make it look a little more realistic, which worked, but maybe worked a little too well. Or not exactly. Ms. Maximoff says it seems like sympathetic magic from Vallo got involved because I based some of the map on an old part of the city.

Anyway the point is I just got a prayer? from the village? for help from mighty adventurers?.

It looks like my campaign is happening whether it’s finished or not, so basically I really need some people to come down and save a tiny village from [...] okay I can’t type it, wtf. Call it certain peril. I need people to go into the map and save the village from certain peril. I can’t tell you what the peril is for some reason, probably the magic again, but the peril is bad and it’s going to ruin the lives of all these people who were supposed to just be fictional and now are real.

So, uh…who wants to be an adventurer? Ms. Maximoff says she can work with the magic that’s affecting the map using my extra miniatures, if we can get people to volunteer to be bound to them for a little bit. You’ll just have to kind of be a character while you’re in there - you’ll have whatever powers the miniature’s class comes with, and you should probably come up with a name.

Anyone? Please, I know this sounds stupid, but that little town is a real little town now, and they need our help.

What's up.

I'm looking to bring in some extra cash to start a nest egg for when. Bartending is lucrative and all that, but I'm a greedy bastard. That said, I'm handy with a needle and thread so if you need any fixes or want something added to a piece or just, I don't know, want something designed, then: hi. I'm Ashton Greymoore. Let's fucking go.



Also, now I'm curious. Anyone else got any secret talents they're holding out on? Now's the time to fess up. Let's be fucking vulnerable.