vallo

Hey fun fucking facts for today:

1. So you can call them a flock of turkeys, but they're also called a rafter of turkeys and what the fuck is up with that.

2. Our house is surrounded by a rafter of turkeys. ( cut for image! )

3. They're mean fuckers, shit and damn. I can respect that and all, but also I don't know who in this house offended the turkeys (Chet? Dorian?) but they're currently pecking at the siding and windows and shit. It might be fucking on.

and 4. Letters, don't go outside.

I still don't I am completely fucking lost This world is so bright

Are there housing options in a more [...] quiet area? I am out of this bloody clinic and these apartments are in the middle of a very populated area. And there is so much sunlight.

The gas station attendant is dead.

[TW in comments about death and corpses.]

Alright, I don't know what kind of insane shit got Knowhere cursed, but we've got a sudden influx of garden gnomes. Yeah, you read that right: garden gnomes.

And this isn't like "oh, some asshole planted little bearded dude statues around the place for a joke." No. These things are alive and causing as much fucking chaos as they can. They've got weapons, and they yell a lot of vulgar shit in heavy English accents, and they don't go down unless you basically kill them - then they turn into statues again.

Anyway, the six of us are up to our asses in a sea of vindictive garden gnomes over here for some reason, so if anyone wants to get some anger out, head our way. We're trying to figure out if there's some kind of magical beacon or trigger or something right now, so anyone with a head for that kind of thing would be great too.

FILTERED TO GUARDIANS

Remember the wedding? Plans made - this Friday, 3:00 at the courthouse in Vallo City.

Okay, so I have a small problem. Literally.

El and I made this map we’ve been calling Vallo Village, right? And we got Billy to do some magic to make it look a little more realistic, which worked, but maybe worked a little too well. Or not exactly. Ms. Maximoff says it seems like sympathetic magic from Vallo got involved because I based some of the map on an old part of the city.

Anyway the point is I just got a prayer? from the village? for help from mighty adventurers?.

It looks like my campaign is happening whether it’s finished or not, so basically I really need some people to come down and save a tiny village from [...] okay I can’t type it, wtf. Call it certain peril. I need people to go into the map and save the village from certain peril. I can’t tell you what the peril is for some reason, probably the magic again, but the peril is bad and it’s going to ruin the lives of all these people who were supposed to just be fictional and now are real.

So, uh…who wants to be an adventurer? Ms. Maximoff says she can work with the magic that’s affecting the map using my extra miniatures, if we can get people to volunteer to be bound to them for a little bit. You’ll just have to kind of be a character while you’re in there - you’ll have whatever powers the miniature’s class comes with, and you should probably come up with a name.

Anyone? Please, I know this sounds stupid, but that little town is a real little town now, and they need our help.

GUARDIANS.

Per Earth custom, I gave Peter a ring to express my intent to wed him. He accepted, so we'll be doing that at [...] some point. I'm honestly not very picky. Whatever's decided, we'd just want to make sure you're all there too.

( Read more... )

[DEFENSE]

Just spotted our potion boy, looks like he's got an illusionary wall covering a cave entrance. Well, that or he can walk through stone.

Coordinates:

Send backup, but I'm going in to investigate and maybe, hopefully, get him to surrender. That's gotta happen eventually, right?

45 seconds later...

[DEFENSE]

[robotic voice]
User Iris Amicitia has triggered their emergency alarm. Please assist them with urgency, including medical supplies. User has recorded the following message along with the alarm.

[Iris' voice]
HE'S A GIANT FUCKING SNAKE!

[robotic voice]
Thank you for using the Emergency Services app, please remember to provide feedback when you're safe again.

You know what's a real bummer? I just realized Tag is a dead app.

( Read more... )

hey I got another sighting on that cat beast whatever the hell it is. saw it getting bullied by some ants so groot and I stepped in. it disappeared before I could try and COMMUNICATE of course. it didn't fight back though. ain't sure if it can't or if it just won't. I mean it's got claws right? anyway groot tried catching a scent to follow it but he got distracted by squirrels so there's that.

think I mighta got some readings on my datapad that could be useful. guess we'll see. anybody want to see what barbecued ant tastes like?

Meet CRASH. She's helping me feed chickens. And no I didn't dream this one. Chainsaw rescued her.

( OOC cut for picture of an opossum )

Anybody need any new tattoos? I'll give you a good deal if your shit isn't lame.

[Defense Team B]

Hey everyone, it's time to welcome a new member to Team B. That's B for Bad-ass. Hyphenated because then it'd be two words and wouldn't work. (I think that was Quill's idea? Correct me if I'm wrong)

So hey Deleneios, I hope you're ready for the best team in the business. Let me do a round of introductions, in case any of you are super familiar with each other. It's Del for short, right?

First up is Gamora. Team mom. Mean and green, she gets the job done and makes sure we stay hydrated. She's freakin tough - both in battle and on the team if they get out of line.

Then there's Quill. Team mom's assistant. Great go-to for music. Surprisingly good at plans. Great fashion sense and somehow kind of charming? He can be bribed with Pop Rocks.

Putting Nebula third because that's my favorite number. She's unstoppable, determined, dangerous, and has a dark sense of humor. She also has a flying car. And quite possibly the coolest arm in existence (sorry Shiro, even though he can't see this).

Up next is Rocket. Three feet tall with ten feet of skill. He can do it all, engineering, aviation, marksmanship. He even runs a radio station in his spare time - also great music tastes. If you ever need something blown up, just text him. You'll probably see Groot with him - very cute little guy but do NOT underestimate him.

You probably know Orym, so I am putting him as the bookend on this introduction. He's mostly here to help me finesse the DOA when our team goes "above and beyond." No, I'm kidding. Am I? Very skilled with sword and board, he's a great addition to the team and we're happy to have him. Plus he gets along with Groot because he can make plants grow.

( Read more... )

After figuring out explosives weren't the best route, the vacuum cleaner I rigged has contained the slime without them getting out and nobody has had to touch them.

Who do I send the containers to? I can incinerate them.

( Read more... )

VALLO PRIME, RESCUERS, & FLIPPED REBELS

Full disclosure, I am not a full-time employee with the magic department at the DOA, but so many of us are gone and you are stuck with me, delivering good and bad news. Hello!

The good news is that thanks to the brilliant researchers in both our Vallos looking into where Bronislovas's resting place might be located on the other side of the portal, we're pretty damn sure of where it is, between his notes, so many books, and what info we got from Beketh. The thought is that it's within a cave system in one of the mountains by the city. Here's a map, for your reference:

[pretend there's a cool looking map here with probable mountains highlighted]

Unfortunately that's more or less all we can do on our side for now, so it's up to all of you fine people over there to pick up the trail. If we can do things, we'll do it, just let us know.

And now the bad news: the portal is causing some oddities. The portal monsters from a few months ago are back, seemingly being created by or summoned by the portal itself. If you have fighting skills of some sort but aren't already involved with defense, please reach out to Evie and Kara and they'll get you sorted as needed.

The other odd thing is that the area around the portal seems to be, for lack of a better way of putting it, turning into what we can only assume the other side of the portal looks like. Buildings are suddenly in disrepair and there's a lot of graffiti talking about your Revenants and how disliked they are, missing people posters, that kind of stuff. This started yesterday and the area affected has only grown today, so it would appear we're on even more of a timetable than we thought.

All right, that is all I have for the moment, so...go team?

[FILTERED TO VALLO PRIME, FLIPPED REBELS (THAT INCLUDES YOU ELI), & RESCUERS]

Testing, testing. Are you getting this? We're using my connection to the Black Lion and the quintessence tech in my arm to form a bridge between the networks. Basically, we're playing telephone through a giant sentient spaceship. Stop by and thank him for me? I'm sure he's stressed by all of this.

Anyway, assuming someone is reading this, on the other side of the portal is a parallel Vallo. We've made contact with a group of Outlanders here and confirmed that they are alternate versions of some of our lost people. Most of them have lived here for years and some have different memories of their home worlds. They've formed a rebellion against another group, made up of more of our lost people. They call themselves the Court of Revenants and they're the reason this message is filtered as best as I can get it.

Please be aware that Council members might look like someone you've lost, but they have apparently taken control of this Vallo through force and terror. There is a stalemate between the Council and the Rebels because any physical violence here creates what they call Echoes - spectral enemies that attack anyone close by and only stop when the fighting stops.

Now I'm sure you're wondering where our Outlanders are. I've been told the people here suffered a violent headache and a flash of memories that then faded when the portal opened on this side. It can't be a coincidence. I suspect our people are tangled up metaphysically with their counterparts. I have no idea how to separate them. If you have any theories, please don't be shy.

As for the rescue team, everyone is accounted for and safe. Our focus right now is planning a recovery mission. A few rebels were taken captive just before we arrived. Keith is We will get them back. In the meantime, please feel free to use this post to brainstorm and reconnect. Since I know it'll be a question on your minds, here is the list of the captured:

• Ashton Greymoore
• Dorian Storm
• Keith Kogane
• Luffy
• Nancy Wheeler
• Noctis Lucis Caelum

And a list of the Council and their allies:

• Caleb Widogast
• William Laurence
• Henry Townshend
• Kellach Donnallen
• Ostyia Rabalska
• Teddy Kaplan-Altman
• Billy Kaplan
• Abigail Blyg
• Lan Xichen
• Lee Thompkins
• Joshua Rosfield
• Julian Blackthorn
• Ronan Lynch
• Serefin Meleski
• Silas

Anyone not on either of these lists should be able to see and respond to this post. Okay, enough rambling. Time to see if this actually works.