vallo

texts to adora.

» You know how I told you to walk ahead of me, I have to find a bathroom?
» I fought off a mummy and a
» Cat with demon wings? They were lawn ornaments, darling. Lawn ornaments.
» And I fought them high heels.


» Earth Trick-or-Treating was safer.

Hi. I didn't know what Barbie was until today. But she's REALLY COOL!! and I would like to meet her now please.

Catra says I can't. I know she's old but she doesn't know EVERYTHING so.

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Alright, I don't know what kind of insane shit got Knowhere cursed, but we've got a sudden influx of garden gnomes. Yeah, you read that right: garden gnomes.

And this isn't like "oh, some asshole planted little bearded dude statues around the place for a joke." No. These things are alive and causing as much fucking chaos as they can. They've got weapons, and they yell a lot of vulgar shit in heavy English accents, and they don't go down unless you basically kill them - then they turn into statues again.

Anyway, the six of us are up to our asses in a sea of vindictive garden gnomes over here for some reason, so if anyone wants to get some anger out, head our way. We're trying to figure out if there's some kind of magical beacon or trigger or something right now, so anyone with a head for that kind of thing would be great too.

It's been "exactly one whole ass month" (in my wife's words), and today is the day we get to celebrate our sweet baby, Finn, turning ONE YEAR OLD!

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Everyone should have gotten their invites for the party on Darla today, but anyone can feel free to stop by! We're running from noon to four o'clock, and there'll be lunch, cake, and a lot of fun but safe activities - including a baby-sized bounce house, a ball pit, and a seriously insane amount of bubbles. 🫧🫧🫧🤗

[FILTERED AWAY FROM SHADOWHUNTER GROUP MINUS KIT]

If you died and were made into a ghost after, without your previous consent, would you want to move on and stop being a ghost if that option were available?

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Inquiring to know if there is a very specific kind of pest control available in this world to handle a massive ant hill that is also spouting equally massive ants. And, no, my coffee isn't spiked. I almost wish it was.

So far they've all been running into the rest of the forest but two tried to climb Darla, scratched it up, and then were deterred by the pride of roaring cats we've got here. Please be careful out there for those working Defense. They look strong.

Soooo... if anyone wants to come help round up some of these tentacle cats at Boyd's that'd be great. I counted at least eight, possibly more. Five for sure have run off somewhere in the shop with various tools which I'd love to get back to, you know, do work. Menaces. Completely adorable, but menaces still the same.

After taking some Tylenol (I cannot handle an extra glass of wine like I used to, not because re-lived my college years somewhere out in the city) to nurse this stereotypical New Year's headache, I realized that this month marks my sixth month here. I keep thinking this place is going to kick me out like it has the first two times. It's definitely the longest I've been here, and while I miss the two main males of my life, I'm grateful to still be around.

But this sense of staying around long-term has made me realize that I need stable employment to spoil people with. Please see this shameless photo of who I am in need of spoiling. It's both of them.

Background: Military, NASA, Engineer, Astronaut, space-traveled, crash-landed on another planet a galaxy away from Earth, married the prince, became queen, did a lot of politics and sword battle. I enjoy getting my hands dirty. I also enjoy wearing jeans again versus the royal garb.

Would anyone have any leads on some kind of mechanical work? I'm a bit rusty, but I've retained a lot over the years, and if I can successfully figure out the kinks of a one-thousand-year-old spaceship that needed oil changing, I can most likely translate that into smaller vessels.

Well, that was fun. Kind of dramatic but fun. And I guess now we have an engagement video, in a way?

Anyway, good luck to everyone out there participating in the race! Catra and I have plans to stay right here and soak up all the Finn time since we were Hallmark-ified for four days. But we're rooting for you!

I guess it was my turn to be left behind.

Is everyone else okay?

I woke up to a post it note from my older self saying I owe the kids brunch for being "what THEY would say an embarrassment, but don't listen to them".

So come get your waffles and bacon I guess?

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Adam and I woke up to a little person at Grayskull this morning. He tackled me in bed to wake me up and asked why Daddy and, which wasn't startling at all. His name is Dare, and he's your nephew/grandson.

[ picture of Teela and little redheaded Dare smiling at the camera ]

Catra, did I see that you've aged up?

TEXT MESSAGES TO CATRA:

» Two things:
» 1) Do you want me to stop by the maternity store and try to grab more nipple creams later?
» 2) Do you think Baby Shark is ever going to leave my brain?

TEXT MESSAGES TO MARLENA:

» Who called you a GILF and do you
» Hi Mom! Did the job search work?
» The DOA has people here to help if you really want to find something.