vallo

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I'm pretty sure my mom would yell at me for posting this, but I can't find her. Does anyone know where she is? Or what these creepy scarecrows are doing around the house? I think they're moving closer?

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Hey fun fucking facts for today:

1. So you can call them a flock of turkeys, but they're also called a rafter of turkeys and what the fuck is up with that.

2. Our house is surrounded by a rafter of turkeys. ( cut for image! )

3. They're mean fuckers, shit and damn. I can respect that and all, but also I don't know who in this house offended the turkeys (Chet? Dorian?) but they're currently pecking at the siding and windows and shit. It might be fucking on.

and 4. Letters, don't go outside.

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Hello. I may have found something. I have been attempting to follow a trail ever since Eliphas was attacked by these anxiety-inducing beasts. Not even my best tracking forms were helping much until today, when I got wind in the swampier section of the forest. There are caves here, a whole system of them, and they are extensive enough that it would not be wise to go in alone.

Fair warning, I do not know how many may be inside or if there is a master creature to contend with once we are there. That said, I am certain others will not mind the risk if it means finding the creatures responsible for hurting our people and personally see to it that it does not happen again.

[the cave's coordinates]

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It seems this world has done more to help my daughter grow wiser and more responsible than I thought I would ever be able to do (or maybe that's just Carol's influence). I should like to thank it properly for taking care of her for the two years she has been here. Plus, it seems I had also missed her nineteenth birthday in this world. (In my world, at least, she is still thriving but I will not give you details for Kamala says that is known as a spoiler.)

This Friday, I am making chicken biryani, samosa chaat, and panipuris for everyone who wishes to come by and have some. I have permission and help from the residents of Loch Laggan. I guarantee you will never find anything like my recipes in the streets of this Vallo.

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Well, can't say it's every day I jump off a cliff and end up in another universe. But I'll bet the two versions of me that were here before said the same thing. Brenda at the DOA claims I was a big fan of essential oils.



YELENA:

Hi.

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I would not call myself a botanical expert, however I think the source of the latest plant debacle is at the Quarry. The entire place is a bit...taken over. If anyone feels so inclined, it may behoove us to examine the caves.

Woke up to a text message this morning letting me know that these monster plants were threatening to take over my cottage and a good part of New Asgard. Nothing like your usually friendly neighbors wandering around like they're straight out of a nightmare.

Patroling just got weirder.

[Filtered to Carol]
If I lost a kidney at home, is it gone here?

Alert: these plants are fucked. I've never seen anything like this. They think in words. It's all the mother this and the mother that, and they don't respond to me like regular plants would. The root system is incomprehensible.

Oh and I'm almost certain it's them making people walk around like they're made out of warped wood. Something in their pollen, probably, which means breathing the air around them is a really bad idea, except they're practically everywhere so it's not easy to avoid. I think one of them might have got me earlier, since I have no memory of walking all the way out of town.

I know Vallo likes to cook up exciting things for us to deal with on occasion, but this has a parasitic sort of feel and I don't like it at all.

Despite popular opinion, I can read. While this isn't near as fun as talking shit in person, I guess it's pretty useful for talking to people who aren't in your face. Which, your loss. Looks and talking are probably 95% of my charisma, so I kinda fucking hate it.

But whatever, I'm nothing if not easy. Let's keep this simple. Call me Gideon. Or Nav. Apparently I've been here before, but it won't be the first time I've had to understand complicated fuckery.