vallo

That was one hell of a wedding yesterday, thanks to everyone that showed up - because we literally couldn't have done it without you. That beast was Uk'atoa, someone who's been hunting me at home for some time now. I had hoped he wouldn't find me here, but I guess Vallo has a great sense of humor. I'm glad no one was killed and we got rid of him, hopefully permanently. I meant it when I said everyone was family at this point - especially after this.

I hope you all remembered to take home your golden dick party favors.


- Fjord Lavorre

HELLO it is me, NADJA here. Perhaps some of you have seen or visited the Night Market (it is a bit of a misstatement since they are open all the time but you know, BRANDING and all) or perhaps you are very curious. Either way, I, NADJA have some very important tips for you.

1. There is a hag, her name is Celestina or something like that, TOTAL BITCH. When you go by her booth, you spit on the ground and say 'Nadja sent me.' Women have to stick together, but when you are a hag named Celestina, you may ROT.

2. The Night Market will only allow for bartering (goods, services, your soul) or for spending gold, silver, gems, your left eye, things like that. But honestly, bartering is your best bet because OF COURSE someone will be like, oh no, I can't make change for 35 gold coins I may as well just keep the whole thing and then you are up the river of shit without a way to row.

3. NEVER TAKE THE FIRST OFFER. Put a very disdainful look in your eye and surmise that perhaps the goblins down the way would take less. Then huff, shimmy your bosom, and prepare to walk away.

4. If you are a human DO NOT GO ALONE. They can smell it on you and will be on you SO fast. Do not let anyone take you anywhere. There is a bandersnatch, that if you sneeze in front of him, he will think you are now a part of his harem.

5. It is so fun!!!!! There are so many things to barter for, and if you enjoy slightly offensive t-shirts you will be AMAZED!!!! Just be careful because you may accidentally purchase a cursed item and then, well, too bad for you.

If your name is Al or my darling cupcake kitten Catra or Peel you are in VERY GOOD LUCK because we are going on a field trip to the Night Market very soon!!! And you may pick out something as a treat.

The end? I still don't know how to end these fucking things. Goodbye?

ARTIE

What are we going to do today? I’ve got a few stores we could sneak into and rearrange. Or I can pack up my paints and we could do a fun mural on the side of the building we got kicked out of yesterday. Or! You could help me with party favors! You’re going to love them. We have a supply from Travelercon (if you know, you know!!), but I’ve also got another idea that I actually got from something I’m pretty sure you did before you announced your arrival officially. I also need to go dress shopping! I want my friends to be there for that, too, if you don’t mind the company!

Good afternoon, my new friends! I have only been in your world a very short time (such a shock this morning--do you know how truly unfair it is to be lounging oh so comfortably on the coast in sunny Feolinn with a glass of their very best diamond plum wine only to be deposited unceremoniously in a forest of all places? I cannot), but I have made the most wonderous discovery and it is gelato. I am currently eating it with the tiniest of spoons and it is as delicious as it is wonderous and I suggest you all try it immediately.

That out of the way, hello, good day, it is lovely to meet you all.

Now, I can't help but notice that I am rather stuck here. I have been informed that not even the most fair and advantageous (for both parties, obviously) deal made with a hapless group of adventurers can create for me a little doorway to hop back to the Menagerie Coast and my glass of wine, so I have decided to view this as a grand opportunity for growth and excitement and I am beginning to bore myself, so I'm going to just let this paragraph come to an end now.

Ah, and of course: I have been told there is a blue tiefling about. I would so very much like to be reunited with her, should someone be able to point me in her direction.

tw: discussion of pregnancy in comments

Things I didn't miss:

Nearly burning down the house trying to make a Thanksgiving dinner.

Things I am missing:

Black Friday. I need new boots and do not want to pay full retail thank you very much.

((pls to ignore the tag dump on this))