vallo

Hi. I didn't know what Barbie was until today. But she's REALLY COOL!! and I would like to meet her now please.

Catra says I can't. I know she's old but she doesn't know EVERYTHING so.

It would seem the Elven Oracle was correct. To avoid confusion until this is resolved, be aware that I am actually Kratos and will not be flirting with you.




[ooc | for the purpose of this plot, Andrea and I have switched journals for Kratos and Atreus to save on having to upload icons etc]

Excuse me ghost pirates but this is not the welcome I was expecting, at the very least you could bring me some sort of tropical drink.

The water elemental cheerleaders are doing their best but they were previously used to flirt with stupid people so if they try with you then--no, Aelwyn so if you see one and they're a bit distracted, just point them towards the dirty ghost pirates and try not to take too many pompoms to the face.

Do I receive another bagel? I mostly know what it is now Adaine, you are on the clock, I'm waiting.

Are any of the plant people missing a potted uhh- okay so he says he's a Venus Fly Trap but he's bigger than any I've ever met and well, he's talking. That's SO not the mushrooms I ate this morning.

Pretty sure.

OH anyway he vomited some whole turkeys at my feet and then told my kid she's "one cool motherfucker" so I'm just curious if this is a Vallo thing or an Outlander thing. I'm definitely taking him home if it's a Vallo thing.

I feel like I just woke up from a coma and that I could sleep all bloody week. Is everything back to normal now?

[FILTERED TO VIOLET SORRENGAIL]

Hey you. We need to talk How are you feeling?

First, and most importantly: thanks for a fun time yesterday, defense powers that be. Team Red is still first in my heart, but also I now almost want a bicycle? Perplexing, that.

Second, and less important: I am still finding mud on my person after Sunday. Glad the weather is back to normal, even if a lot of quick snowmelt seems to turn everything into an absolutely muddy mess when it comes to obstacle courses in the woods. Fingers crossed for a normal day on Sunday, just to end on a high note.

Anyway, now that I've jinxed us.

Third, vaguely important if you want it to be: yesterday would have been the start of Highsummer back home, which is less a thing for death goddess champions and more a thing of Dawnfather champions, like my sister. It's a lot of gift giving, being thankful, and hanging of lights in trees, so very much a summertime Winter's Crest or Christmas, if you want to compare. Long story short, if you need an excuse to give gifts or pull out the Christmas decor in Sydenstar/July, do it for Vex'ahlia. (Or Pelor, I guess?)

[FILTERED TO DEFENSE TEAMS/RESERVES/TECH/RESEARCH]

It's that time again. Don't make any plans for the 15th. This one is going to take some pre-planning and it involves everyone in Defense.

( Tandem Bicycle Games )

It is Solstice.

[Defense Coordinators and Leadership]

I don't want to suggest anything like OMG ATLANTIS UPRISING but has anyone checked with our ambassadors and contacts to make sure they're aware of what's going on with the water assaults lately? I mean, I get that they like to benefit from the Yours vs Ours mentality with visitors back and forth, but they'd help out, right?

It's been "exactly one whole ass month" (in my wife's words), and today is the day we get to celebrate our sweet baby, Finn, turning ONE YEAR OLD!

( image attached )
Everyone should have gotten their invites for the party on Darla today, but anyone can feel free to stop by! We're running from noon to four o'clock, and there'll be lunch, cake, and a lot of fun but safe activities - including a baby-sized bounce house, a ball pit, and a seriously insane amount of bubbles. 🫧🫧🫧🤗

I have spent most of this month clearing the forest of these clawed demon creatures that have been roaming about. They lay eggs, I did not wish for there to be any kind of overrun situation.

As such, I will be serving steaks and eggs throughout the weekend, should anyone feel hungry.

First of all, thanks to everybody who came to save the little village. They're really grateful and so am I.

Second thing, um...the villagers were definitely doing stuff that I didn't write in. Like, my note on Miffany is "cute bar wench, wants to go to wizard college," and that's it. I didn't write that relationship with Bellamy Corsaire at all - he was supposed to be looking for someone else to do the job because he was too drunk, not because he was too sad.

What I'm saying is, this seems to have turned into a real world. Which I'm not really sure what to do about, but it feels like we should do something? Like put it somewhere safer, or get another god in the pantheon, or something? I don't know the ethics of "my half-finished D&D campaign came to life," could kind of use a real adult here.

Not to brag, but in exactly one whole ass month we're celebrating the fact that we've kept this little gremlin alive for a whole ass year: ( cut for image! )

Anyway, Adora and I have done a lot of trial-and-error smash cakes so I think we're ready for that part. We haven't hashed out party details or anything yet, but obviously friends and anyone else here with their own gremlins are invited. Probably something outside of Darla? We have Big Cats to pet? And not in that fucking Joe Exotic way, that guy can choke.

[TEXT MESSAGE TO KEITH KOGANE]

» Came home for lunch and to move the clothes over to the dryer and the washing machine has flooded the whole basement.
» It's only about 2 inches of water but still.
» Is this punishment for being happy about people being arrested?

[DEFENSE]

Just spotted our potion boy, looks like he's got an illusionary wall covering a cave entrance. Well, that or he can walk through stone.

Coordinates:

Send backup, but I'm going in to investigate and maybe, hopefully, get him to surrender. That's gotta happen eventually, right?

45 seconds later...

[DEFENSE]

[robotic voice]
User Iris Amicitia has triggered their emergency alarm. Please assist them with urgency, including medical supplies. User has recorded the following message along with the alarm.

[Iris' voice]
HE'S A GIANT FUCKING SNAKE!

[robotic voice]
Thank you for using the Emergency Services app, please remember to provide feedback when you're safe again.

So we all agree, we're kicking this guy's ass once he's found, right? Like this isn't one of those 'no, Diego, diplomacy is so great you can't solve everything by stabbing it!!!!' things?

Heeeey so there was some talk at Galahd's last night about an arrest made on the portal lady?? Anyone have anything official to share, because I'll listen to people over drinks all day but I figure 50% of anything there is added context and rumor.

Despite the best efforts of fate, Spring mead is out at Asynja. If you like floral flavors, good news. We have Hibiscus, Rose, and Lavender brewed to human strength, and several barrels of Lavender brewed to knock gods off their feet. Enjoy.

[Filtered to Kate Bishop]
If I disappeared, would you take over the meadery, close it, or sell it?
[/filter]