vallo

That moment when you thought you found the perfect wreath for your door only to have it.. grow teeth and try to bite you.

Never change, Vallo.

TYLER.
Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something.

Oi!

Can anyone give me an explanation of what the fuck is going on that doesn't involve being kidnapped into a magical fairy land?

I'm going to need someone to pick up this kid here, thanks.

I hate to admit it, but Brenda's dumb oils came in handy. Though not for what she intended and for the love of everything do not put that stuff on your skin.

Everyone make it out okay? We've got a list of the main areas that were hit but if anyone has anywhere else that might need some restoration work and/funds just let me know!

Now can I have my villain era?

Since there are an extraordinary number of immortals among the Outlander ranks, and I have only known literally enough to count on one hand, maybe we can start a group. Prevents us from getting lonely when we become, as Eliphas likes to put it, geriatric.


Also, I'm looking for a replacement couch, if anyone has leads on one that could be free.

You know, I like to think that my experiences back home made me more prepared for being pulled to some other will against my will. Or, I've just gotten really good at compartmentalizing all of the weird shit in my life these past few months so one more weird thing is just a drop in the bucket.

Anyway, I guess since I'm stuck here for the foreseeable future, I might as well introduce myself. Jennifer Walters, Esq., aka She-Hulk. But seriously, just call me Jen.

...Anyone know if law school degrees transfer across universes?

I know its frowned on to drink at work but I will give pretty much anything you can think of if someone will bring me a bottle of something. Because it is way too early in the week for this much chatting.

Filtered to DOA and Library Staff:

A book was stolen from the Great Library’s Special Collections section about twenty minutes ago. I made an attempt at apprehending the thief but was unsuccessful in doing so. I am hereby requesting an investigation by the DOA, as I suspect this is part of a pattern.

Additional relevant information:
- the stolen volume is The Art of Control, a study in mind magic that is forbidden in nearly every world where it exists
- the thief was dressed in ancient Assyrian style, Neo-Assyrian Empire period
- the thief seemed to disappear in the alley behind the library

Not only does Vallo decide to be a dick and send Rory home, but this morning skeletons got into Hell and decided to try and steal some books. Thankfully Maze caught them and now has a tasty treat, but wtf is going on?

[DECAY FILTER] [deleted]

Today was the day from all of my nightmares rolled into one and I am already day drunk how are you guys Sorry if you got stuck behind my mom getting her double espresso whatthefuckever this morning I bet she was a Karen literally her name is Karin and it's fucking fitting I promise

'Sup, Outlanders of Vallo. I'm Eli Grimsbane, born and raised in Vallo & a member of the Ankou coven. I've met some of your pretty faces and made out with a few too, but then I took a leave of absence and found some trouble along the way. Brought that trouble BACK with me and now I'm teaching them about all the shit us mere mortals get up to. Tacos, donuts, BBQ last night (thanks for the blast, sorry if you got growled at), next stop is karaoke.

Which The Spectrum's hosting tonight, so if you want to come along and see two people that know no modern music get up on stage and sing, that's the ultimate goal for the night.

Also if anybody's got any leads on cheap apartments for a starving artist native & only partially employed friends, I'll hook you up with some magic mushrooms or weed.

Literally just had someone from a Councilwoman's office hand me a Ron Swanson permit. Where all it said was "I can do what I want. Jennifer."

Government. The job for which not enough coffee or wine exists.

I guess I'm sorry about the desk.

I spent most of the day today dealing with malicious hands creeping about the forest, so I'll keep this more brief than I otherwise might.

A year ago today I turned up in this pocket of the universe, had my world turned upside down, and I'm grateful for it every damned day. Even the ones like today. Because at the end of it all, I get to come home to the most incredible person I have ever met, chase around a set of toddlers that can test even vampiric energy limits, and fight off multiple animals for the best spot on the bed. It's more than I deserve, and never taken for granted.

Cheers to you Vallo.

I fear Freya has fallen ill, due to Vallo's latest shenanigans. We were in my mother's gardens at the Asgardian palace when some climbing roses attacked from nowhere. Freya moved to get Torunn out of danger and was pricked by roses herself.

We dispatched the rest of the roses, but Freya will not wake. We moved her to a bedchamber nearby, but I ask that her family come to visit her and see what they may be able to do or perhaps I can bring her to her home? Whatever is easiest. But someone come kiss her please.

If anyone notices a heavier amount of greenery and flora around the clinic, don't mind me... I may suddenly be having the time of my life with what I guess is some kind of temporary power? I'm growing plants. Yes, there are a lot of lilies, and that's because I really like lillies.

This is an AMAZING feeling! I knew someone back in my world who had this kind of power. Only difference was that she was kind of.. a villain.

So. let’s say you were taken in by the woman who had your birth parents killed and then she raised you to be the very best time traveling assassin/fixer there is, and now you’ve got a tiny tot and you're trying to leave wet work in the past. What the hell do you put on your resume? I’ve never looked for a proper job before. It’s a ridiculous farce, isn’t it? Most of my references are either family now or very very dead.

Actually. Anyone have a band in need of a drummer? One getting paying gigs, not just sitting around in someone’s garage sweating bullets over their equipment, that is. If you have a drummer but they’re mediocre, consider punting them to the curb in favour of yours truly? I look really good in thigh high fishnets and tiny shorts, if that helps my cause any.

A heads up for those with some younger kiddos that the library is doing a few fairy tale based comedy plays over the weekend. They're at 10:00, 1:00 and 3:00 both Saturday and Sunday in their little auditorium. Snacks will be provided.

I'll be going to Saturday at 3:00 with Lucas if anyone wanted to join us.

On a more business note! The government is offering subsidies and rebates for anyone hit by the recent events and need to do repairs to business and homes. Hit me up if you would be interested and I can get someone in touch with you. If you've already done repairs they are reimbursing as well so get me your receipts and I'll get the process started for you.

Never thought I would have to ask this here but. Anyone with the experience that can offer recommendations with wedding venues and services here in Vallo? No date set yet, I'm just trying to see what's available first.