vallo

Glad I didn't make any plans for Sunday, and yesterday was still somewhat of a blur but after plenty of water, a long run this morning, and restocking on oreos I'm ready to face this week. Alexis, had a blast on Friday night. Thank you. Margo? You're brilliant. Happy Birthday.

Got some motorcycle rides planned, and I'm wondering if we have an actual group here? Not like a biker gang, I just want to see everyone's bikes.


Sydney.
I owe you, and I owe Adam. This project gave me a hobby and led to more projects. Any ideas on how I can pay you both back?

[TEXTS TO BARNS GROUP CHAT]

» Sup.
» Victor's gone
» so yeah
» I might be late tmrw or just in a shitty mood

[TEXTS TO WYNONNA]

» This place sucks balls sometimes
» Probably will be shit company for your thing tonight and im already half-drunk
» he wasnt the most social but I had someone here from home for a little while and now hes gone already
» didnt want to just ghost you tho

I don't remember the exact day that my anniversary falls on, because why would I? But I did just realize that I'm either coming up on being in this place a whole fucking year already or recently passed it.

Either way, in honor of the occasion of this place putting up with my dumb ass for that long, who wants to go to Galahd's for a drink or three on Friday?

[Homestead + Raylan]

Drinks are my treat for you guys, duh.

[ FILTERD TO 21+ ]
Alright, who's into BDSM? I need to do something in honor of Maze.

Turns out even when you vehemently say you do not wish something because you were in heated yet interesting debate with a client and should've been watching what words you used thanks to recent events, someone or something might still take it as a challenge.

Who deals blood around here?

I know weird fuckery is afoot again (what else is new?), but going upstairs to check on my kiddo after her nap to find her HOVERING OVER HER BED isn't really what I had in mind. Figure your shit out, Vallo.

Is suture thread and regular thread the sam Having to still myself the last week or so left me to burn through the books I had lying around the house. Anyone has some they're willing to part with, I'll reimburse you and make sure they go to a good used bookstore after.

Crime, mysteries, suspense but I'll read just about anything.

[Sara Lance]

Hey, just a big ole head's up that Raylan is probably going to be out of commission re: patrol for a while without some serious magical healing. He got fucked up by a demon yesterday.

Nicole was able to get him to help, but I haven't had a chance to check in on him yet to see how he's feeling.

I just wanted to keep you in the loop on what was going on.

[Raylan Givens]

How're you holding up? Do you need anything?

Just don't die on me. I need my partner.

Okay. So harpies and demons.

They're apparently coming from the Forest of Torment. I have no idea how they got out of it but I'm guessing Vallo is being Vallo.

Kill what you need to--anything that is celestial in nature will probably be your best bet with actually taking them down. IDK if anyone has holy water? But the demons don't like that. The harpies won't be affected by that though.

But if you can get some of them back into that section of the forest that would be good to. They're kind of what keeps the souls of the worst murderers, rapists, and traitors at bay. So. You know. Those getting out would not be good either. No one wants to deal with serial killers running around.

[ NETWORK POST ]
HEY ASSHOLES, DEMONS AND MONSTERS IN THE FOREST.

Wendigo boy and I are out by the Quills, could use some backup! Bring the big guns, thanks!

Has anyone else heard talk of strange sightings in the forest today?

FILTERED TO PERSEPHONE

Please keep your distance from the woods for the next day or two. Something is wrong there. I can feel it.

JOURNAL ENTRY TO HAZEL

I heard there was a dragon attack today. Please let me know you're all right as soon as you see this.

Hey. How are you holding up over there?

For anyone looking to help figure out this latest round of Vallo bs, and you're open to a coordinated approach, please head to the DOA offices.


DEFENSE DEPARTMENT.

I need an accurate list of who is still here and available to patrol. Depending on how hard we're hit, extra patrols may be needed. Let me know if you can take on any extra work.

DOA
Who's still here?

[Nicole Haught and Waverly Earp]

I'm sorry if I've been a little MIA around the Homestead today. You remember how I told you that sometimes people get these memory updates from home? Yeah, so that happened again, except this time the universe decided to give us Alice, too.

So 1) come meet your niece when you get the chance and 2) there's a toddler in the house now.

Which is a wild fucking concept. We gotta babyproof this shit ASAP.

[Raylan Givens]

Swing by the Homestead this weekend and bring Willa with you. There's someone I want you both to meet.

Well damn. Suppose that's what I get for putting down roots. Drinks on me at Galahd tonight.

I just wanted to drop a quick missive thanking everyone who participated or watched Fight Club this past weekend! What a rush!!

• Adora, you were quick and deadly; I look forward to our future sparring missions together and potentially???? our wearing matching ponytails (I can but hope).
• Simon, it is an honor to fight someone as powerful as you, and I would desperately like to know why you turned into a dragon and not a smaller, fluffier Simon when you puppeted. Did you know my sister is half-dragon? Oh, the wilds of the world!
• Natasha, you are scary and you remind me very much of a friend of mine from back home who is likewise scary, the kind of friend that I think we're friends but I'm not exactly sure because of the fear, but she shows up and thumps things when I need her to and I am very glad she is on my side!
• Wynonna, were I not taken and you not taken, I would ask to share a milkshake together with one straw so that we could play footsie under the table, but alas, we are ships passing in the night (and also you hit like a stampeding horse).
• Castiel, you are a mystical being (I think??) and so I feel a little bad that I pummeled you, but it was a worthy fight and I hope you are happy and not vengeful.
• Finally, Arthur, I have an OCEAN of respect for you, I'm not FISHING for compliments, and also, I owe you another beer if you'll agree to SCHOOL me in the way you move so quickly.

This is Solaire, thanking you for the jolly cooperation, and a toast to the Frye twins who organized this joyous event!!

Unrelated - I do not fancy my arse in bell bottoms.

Though arriving a fair few days earlier, I fear I've put off customary introductions in favor of mastering this unusual device used in place of paper and pen and unfortunate puppetry as to make a decent showing. I cannot say I agree with the suggestions it gives in lieu of words I used. If I mean to say duck I will say du - goddamn it

My name is Seth Bullock. I find myself a few years and many miles from home though I have been assured I am far from alone in this. Ms. Forbes was kind enough to give me some detail of this place though I am aware that I will most likely be learning for days to come.

I suppose though introductions be made this way, I will meet many of you in person as well. This sounds ridiculous. The pleasure is mine.

So much for being in the Ghost River Triangle forever, I guess? Thanks to the people at the DOA who filled us in on everything going on here, though. That intro video was amazing! Helped with the WTF moment. (Sorry again for the "Dead On Arrival" jokes, btw. I'm sure you've heard them a million times!)

ANYWAY - Wynonna, we heard you might be here! Your two favorite people are here, come get us!!!

what the fucking fUCK

I don't know why Vallo keeps forcing me to make these ridiculous posts, but it looks like something from the Blackpointers' past has cropped up here - the puppet spell.

You'll notice some of you have turned into a puppet. Back in the first reality I was kidnapped to, it was a spell created by a local witch of theirs to curb people from using their powers to kill everyone once they came through the portal that brought us there. The vast majority of their population were regular humans and couldn't handle superpowered people, otherwise.

Any time someone wished to harm someone physically, they'd turn into a puppet until they calmed down. It prevented some bloodshed and provided a lot of laughs cause it was hilarious, when it wasn't happening to you. It let us still spar with each other and let us defend ourselves if something was attacking us because it was always about the intent, but yeah. Guess the whole point of this post is to say if you don't want to spend your time as a puppet or toy (cause people turned into Barbies too), try not to get pissed off to the point of punching? You should be able to defend yourselves and spar though, so Defense teams, you should all be good. And the locals always seemed to ignore us when we were like this? So you should also be good for not being picked up by a random kid and taken home to be added to their collection.

I also don't know if Vallo put its own spin on this, so the rules for this bout of insanity might be different from what I know. Take all of this ridiculousness with a grain of salt and be wary of everything. Paranoia is your friend.

Also, Tina, Thalia, and I are hosting a luau over at Tina's place this Wednesday just cause that's how we always solved our problems back in Blackpoint. Show up in the afternoon, BYOB, casual, these things usually go late. [Address]

EDIT: Looks like getting very, very angry is triggering it too. So it's a new ball game, sorry guys.