vallo

Hello, if you're someone who explores Vallo a lot, if you find anything out of the ordinary near the following three locations, would you let me know? I'm continuing research on the portals from last month. Thank you.

[ATTACHED MAP BUT PRETEND IT'S VALLO & THE THREE X'S ARE COORDINATES OF WHERE THE THREE PORTALS WERE LOCATED]

TSC FILTER:

Jules, I think I found Blackthorn Hall? I haven't gone inside but it's on the very edge of the forest near the city, and it looks like when we explored it the first time? It's not as nice as when you and Emma made it so I wasn't sure and I didn't want to go inside without you.

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Good morning.

I have asked the Department of Outlander Affairs to provide me with a suitable sorcerer of the demon-slaying profession to consider acting as head of a mutually beneficial infernal contract, and they are in the process of fulfilling this request.

If I might ask one thing further: mortals among you amenable to providing years off of your life in exchange for demonic service, so that one person need not shoulder the load, please leave a note here. I've extensive experience in housekeeping, artifact cataloging, assassinations, nannying, general schooling up to the age of 12, footman duties, torture, ballroom dancing, and basic supportive charmwork.

Regretfully my references were left at home, but I will be happy to discuss my abilities of the above subjects with any interested party.

Cordially,

Silas

Over a year into Vallo life, it feels like bartending isn't really hitting that fulfillment threshold. Back home, Kenzi and I did PI work, nothing officially official, but I'm thinking of picking that back up here. It'll have to be a little more on the up and up (licensing and all that), but while I'm digging into the requirements, I thought I'd ask:

Any Outlanders out there who'd be interested? General idea is 18+ to work as an investigator, but trainees can help out with office work starting around 16, if there's any aspiring investigators out there.

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This is an official communication on behalf of the Department of Outlander Affairs:

I am dismayed to report that the Amulet of Ashurbanipal, the magical item which allowed him to move between worlds and attack our library, has been stolen from the custody of Prigany Coven. The coven has submitted to outside investigation, and the Vallo police department currently believes that the members of Prigany are victims of a crime, not perpetrators of one.

The amulet is a quite large golden locket, oval-shaped and set with a iridescent green gemstone at its center. It was badly damaged in the fight with the necromancer king, but should it be repaired it will once again be a very powerful magical artifact.

The thief is as yet unknown, and attempts to magically track the location of the amulet have failed. Anyone with information that could lead to the recovery of the amulet and the apprehension of the thief should report that information to the Vallo police department.

Thank you,
Lan Xichen
DOA Coven Liaison

I'm making an observation.

Dads, I may need you both to run interference with Kiri.

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A poll for the masses:

Say that you've never actually been blessed by the mysteries of Vallo and this is the first time you've been jettisoned to the past where apparently your absolute favorite food truck that has all the properly greasy comfort foods hasn't yet started operating. And say that you were blasted back to a past where your dads and uncle are still babies (objectively speaking; they're all old back home, okay?) and have no idea that you're even a possibility?

Do you:

A. Play it cool. 😎
B. Tear it off like a bandaid; surprise, it's me! Your daughter you probably are not expecting even a little bit! 🫢
C. Other, please explain. 🤔

Last night we were able to track down the source of what caused all of our network problems and found absolutely no one at the end of it. Whoever they are is a fan if that Soups place from all the trash left behind. The only name we can associate with them is T3CHN0W1TCH13, which is an internet handle that is offensive to the eyes.

All the chain letter hiccups should have disappeared after we gained access to the terminal they were using. [...] I'm hoping that also includes the corpses of any of them slain before this.

Also, please note: 'password' should not be your actual password. Do better.

We're also working on improving network security measures across the board to prevent any actual outsider from hacking into things. I can't guarantee it'll put a stop to everything, but we're hoping it stops someone like T3CHN0W1TCH13 from trying to kill us with either monsters or anxiety.

Happy Belated Friday the 13th.

[SHADOWHUNTER GROUP TEXTS]

» Julian and I caught one in a trap!
» It's a small demon child in a white dress.

[TECH GROUP FILTER (Whoever has been working in the group for figuring this out!)]

Hello! My brother and I successfully trapped a curse demon (? Unsure of demon name.) in our living room.

The reports and interactions people have had with these demons today have coordinated so far with the chain letters I've seen. This one came from the second chain mail letter I had forwarded to me.

No Bloody Mary yet; that was my first.

It's a small demon child that crawled out of the television and told us we did not forward this email to enough people so we will be haunted now.

Julian and I had several traps set up for demons and spirits in our apartment, it crawled right into one.

Can it be used to track where these are coming from?

Apartment 806 if anyone would like to come study it.

What the hell? I’m right here.

HELLO THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHATEVER IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW

BLOODY FUCKING MARY WITH HER BLOODY FUCKING CURSE IS UPON US.

ONCE NANDOR RELENTLESS IN HIS STUPIDITY OPENED THE ELECTRONIC MAIL AND RELEASED HER AND NOW SHE HAS RETURNED

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT HILLARY WHO DID NOT FORWARD THE ELETRONIC LETTER AND THEN BLOODY MARY CAME TO HER IN HER PARTY OF SLUMBER AND MURDERED HER IN HER SLEEPING BAG WITH HER EYES TORN OUT AND A MESSAGE ON THE MIRROR THAT SAID 'ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS FORWARD THIS TO TEN PEOPLE'

CURSES ARE NOT TO BE TRIFFLED WITH EVEN FOR ME THE QUEEN OF VALLO VAMPIRES.

MOM? Do you want me to just off this person FOR you???? WHO IS IT????

Ty says you've been helpful and decent to him. So thanks. I'm Julian.



I don't really know what to say. Social media is a Mundane I've never spent much time on the internet. And my girlfriend usually does most of the talking. I don't know how to do this without her I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that Downworlders and M humans are living peacefully together in the open here. Is that really working as well as it seems? If so, could somebody tell me your secret?

Anyway. I guess I'll find an art supply store while I figure out what to do with myself.

Do we think that maybe there will be something else that attacks this week and maybe it's a good reason to stay home and not go to school? For safety. Thank you!

Also, there were lots of people who were interested in riddles and that was VERY fun to learn new ones so I thought I would share a different type of riddle/puzzle! It is called a magic square and you put the numbers in the box so that the totals of each row, column, and diagonal are the same! Kiri helps me when I get stuck.

Xhorhaus

Also, there is a wolf who has been circling the house. I have been observing it since we went to school. And now that we are going home, it is sort of following us. I'm not scared though, because it seems very friendly. And big. Please advise.

And Caleb you should stay inside just in case.

If anybody gets any embarrassing pictures of the bride and groom on their phone, you're required by Barns Law to share them immediately. If they're REALLY good, I'll give you a finder's fee. If they're hilariously BAD, I'll give you a finder's fee and, I don't fucking know. A wheel of cheese. There.

[FILTERED TO ADAM]

The bartender says we're out of the old man's favorite fizzy juice somehow so I'm gonna be a minute but I just want you to know that your ass looks criminal in those pants. If you love me even a LITTLE, you'll keep the jacket off and roll up your sleeves before I get back.

Not only does Vallo decide to be a dick and send Rory home, but this morning skeletons got into Hell and decided to try and steal some books. Thankfully Maze caught them and now has a tasty treat, but wtf is going on?