vallo

So I just had a tire crash through my front door, roll over the few chanting Furbies Willa and I hadn't yet managed to trap that did not get out of the way, then destroy the courtyard door before rolling off into the forest.

I figured everyone probably knew about the demon toys but the rubber whirlwind of chaos seemed like a new addition.

Since this place fucking sucks sometimes, Blue and I set up a bunch of rando targets to throw axes at. We're going to play loud angry lady rock and bitch about everything we fucking hate and destroy targets with sharp objects and maybe smash a few things while we're at it.

No optimists or cheerful attitudes allowed, but if you're angry and sad too, and you just want to hate on something, feel free to come on by.

This place can seriously eat a bag of dicks sometimes, I swear to god.

[PRIVATE TO SYDNEY CLARKE]

I'm admittedly trash at this sort of stuff, but I'm really sorry about Jesse, though I know an apology doesn't help with shit.

Let me know if you need anything, okay? I'd be a fucking mess if Doc disappeared on me, so I can only imagine how you're feeling right now. I've got a bottle of whiskey with your name on it whenever you're ready and if you want somewhere else to stay for a little while, you can come be at the Homestead with us.

[PRIVATE TO EARP HOMESTEAD]

I don't know if she's going to take me up on it, but I invited Sydney to come and stay with us if she wants to since Jesse's gone.

Finding out I'll be a father to not one but two girls has led me on a path of self-discovery the last week or so as well as the development of a new skill I want to give a try.

Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He wanted to get aHead.

We definitely need a big family dinner while all the kids are around, older and younger! Here at the Homestead where we've got the most space, probably? We can drag some tables outside and have like a ~fall theme~ or something? I just want to make sure we don't let this opportunity pass!

Let me know when's best for everyone and we'll make it happen! Gracie, wanna help me bake??

Grab a coffee or something stronger. I got a text from Care Caroline about what we can only call Vallo being Vallo. She's got her hands f Some of you are likely already aware, so to head off questions and chaos, the DOA can confirm there seems to be some kind of timeslip event happening. Don't freak out if you suddenly have a kid or someone you know isn't the right age. The latter might be easier to adjust to since it's happened at least once before in the time I've been here - but the kid thing may be a bit shocking.

If you need a hand, the DOA has services to help out. That said, though, in an effort to coordinate and assist, we're asking you to chime in here with any reports you want to share so that we can manage resources and get a handle on expectations.



[ooc | this here's the catch-all post, I offered to get one up early for Meghan]

I've found the ninth circle of hell and it's group projects.

While I wait to see if I've been stood up entirely - cereal is a soup? Yes or No? Any why or why not?

ETA:
2 for is a soup
4 for is not a soup
1 for other (is a stew)
1 for nachos are cereal

Hey, uh. Doc? Nicole? Waves? You three might want to head back to the Homestead. There's a whole herd of these fucks outside trying to graze.

Time to get my redneck on and go shoot some of these assholes to scare them off.

[Attached phone image of Chargers in the yard out front]

It's oddly reassuring to check this thing and find I'm not the only one an inanimate object tried to kill this morning. Still not quite sure how I feel about it being my pants but the other pairs seem docile at least.

This is by far the most interesting and also most useless fake out car (because I'm not really delivering pizzas in it?) I've ever had. At least I'm pretty sure of that, anyway. Hard to tell when there's a block in your head that's a thousand years young.

( cut for picture )

I've asked the network at large about the best 'gift' from home they've gotten here (and no, I'm not exactly thrilled to have Pizza Car considering it's a piece of the Void and no one wants to see the Void up close and personal) but what's something you'd wish would show up but hasn't yet? Maybe if we put it out into the universe, things will happen.

help


it has been ten minutes since i last ate

DOES NO ONE CARE ABOUT ME

Hey guys!

Following up on Wynonna's birthday post the other day, we've officially made a decision. Joint birthday festivities will be held at SHORTY'S on FRIDAY NIGHT! It's our local bar from back home, and it just showed up in Vallo. It's got enough liquor to last us through the next couple of weeks before we need to start stocking up again, so might as well enjoy, y'know?

Presents not required. We've got a pool table, karaoke, all your expected bar stuffs! Nicole and I are baking cakes - vegan and non-vegan - so come on out for lots of cake and booze and celebrate with us!

Guess what? Time for more Birthday Shenanigans: Vallo Edition.

My sweet baby sister's is on Wednesday (and she's actually here to celebrate it!) and mine is Sunday. Who wants to do what? I vote for being drunk for that entire time.

Big thanks to Rasalas for giving me a Vision Quest potion to try out - it only mildly tasted of weirdness, like if the experience of my husband sniffing my shirts to try to remember me had a taste.

Here's a gif representation of what I saw:

( cut because it's sort of an inappropriate gif )

I mean???

Oh, and I'm testing out flaming cocktails at Galahd tonight. Surprised I didn't think of that shit sooner but come by if you wanna experience it.

I woke up this morning and went to go get a bagel from the furry that runs that bagel cart and y'know what happened?

The power of music.

I still don't know what the hell's going on here, but hey, we're living in the Matrix, baby! Anything's possible.

[ooc; Anyone that was near A-Maze-in Bagels around 10 AM this morning, saw Nick pulling off this flashmob. You're free to say you were apart of it! After it was over, he promptly ran into the forest. He is currently in a tree somewhere.]

I don't know why Vallo has decided we need to spontaneously burst into song, but I, for one, approve. My boyfriend has a very sexy voice, and I'm still swooning.

ETA: Video proof because I want to show him off a little.*

*ooc: Obviously please pretend this is marshalgivens

I hope everyone who received doctors orders - or healers orders - is actually following those, until the duration of the healing is up. Be good to yourselves, please. This place is often unkind enough as it is.

I'll be at the clinic like usual, if anyone stops by for medical or Snooze Room-related issues.

( filtered to friends & family - basically anyone dan's ever talked to, you're a friend in that case )

I know things have gone to absolute shit recently, but it's still my man's birthday and we're going to celebrate however we can. Drinks and food at the Homestead tonight at 6, BYOB if you can. We've set up a makeshift shooting range around back for those that want to get their aggression out.

Anyone lose a kid in the chaos? 'bout 5-8 years old, dark blonde hair, sparkling skirt, barn boots, and a too big hat? Slings a mean Nerf gun, has a fiercely protective dog?

Can't get a name out of her. One of you taught her the whole 'don't talk to strangers' thing damn well.

OI, Holliday. It's your birthday again soon. What do you want to do for it this year?

And yes, this is me making this public so everyone knows it's your birthday soon and that you're gonna be Old As Fuck. 😘 Love you, hot stuff.

[HOMESTEAD + RAYLAN]

Okay but seriously, we did a big party at a roadhouse that no longer exists last year. Let's go, people!