vallo

WHO: Morgan Yu and Murderbot
WHAT: Murderbot finds out he's actually had a boyfriend for a few months
WHEN: A couple weeks ago
WHERE: Morgan's apartment
WARNINGS: N/A

( ...Lardo was going to have a field day. )

Alright, tonight is the second night of Hanukkah, the winter holiday that isn't legally obligated to have Mariah Carey playing every five minutes, that doesn't have an old man breaking in to your house to eat your food, and that doesn't have questionable labor practices for people and animals.

No, we instead have a celebration of the rededication of the Second Temple at the beginning of the Maccabbean revolt in which the Jewish people rose up against their Greek-Syrian oppressors! And the lights of the temple burned for eight nights even though there was only enough oil for one night! A Hanukkah miracle!

At home, celebrating Hanukkah looks like lighting the menorah (each night you add a candle for the lights of the temple), playing the dreidel (it's a 4 sided top, btw, all three of my brothers cheat, I should be better at it because I roll d4s all the time and yet), my bubbe getting Tommy and I mixed up every other conversation, seven nights of practical presents like sweaters from my parents with one night of something cool, Here, I promised Tommy these amazing jelly filled donuts called sufganiyot tonight, so if anyone's bored, our apartment is open.

Just keep an eye on your chocolate coins around Tommy.

Grab a coffee or something stronger. I got a text from Care Caroline about what we can only call Vallo being Vallo. She's got her hands f Some of you are likely already aware, so to head off questions and chaos, the DOA can confirm there seems to be some kind of timeslip event happening. Don't freak out if you suddenly have a kid or someone you know isn't the right age. The latter might be easier to adjust to since it's happened at least once before in the time I've been here - but the kid thing may be a bit shocking.

If you need a hand, the DOA has services to help out. That said, though, in an effort to coordinate and assist, we're asking you to chime in here with any reports you want to share so that we can manage resources and get a handle on expectations.



[ooc | this here's the catch-all post, I offered to get one up early for Meghan]

Alright, show of hands, who will be studying robot corpses for the next millennia? This place is something else and even trying to chart the world's flow of time has been an exercise in brainpower.


( private message - clover ebi )

Hey, I've gone between cat and human twice this morning, so I'm gonna take this minute while I'm definitely human to issue some warnings:

Cat Morgan has abandoned ethics. Cat Morgan thinks morals are big paintings on walls and scruples are money in Russia. He cannot be trusted.

Cat Morgan still has typhon powers, and has zero compunctions about using them for whatever whim occurs to him.

Cat Morgan is pure id and either cannot type or does not care to, and this may be the only chance I get to tell you that if a fluffy black-and-white cat tries to control your mind and make you buy him sardines, I am really, really sorry.

BEWARE THIS ANIMAL. DO NOT TRUST HIM. DO NOT GIVE HIM SARDINES, HE HAS NOT EARNED THEM.

Anyway I'm going to rub this catnip-stuffed mouse on my face until I calm down. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

I thought it relevant to state that Morgan is a cat now, so if you have any problems with Tag!, bother me directly and if I like you I'll fix them.

[ Pretend there is a series of pictures of Haridson posing with this. All grins and faux serious poses. ]

Someone lose a Hall of Justice? Murderbot (I told you that you'd get to like me) and I came up with a detector of sorts to detect when something comes through. Still fine tuning it, but it led us to...well, the Hall of Justice. The readings off this thing are crazy.

Happy Halloween today and for the next sixty days!

🦇🕸🕷🍁🍂🔪🎃🔮🌚🌙

Who do I talk to about getting an in with the DOA's tech division?

So apparently I didn't realize just how much I hated my job until I tried to apply for a similar position here and literally got up and walked out halfway through the interview. Not that it matters that I hate it, they definitely aren't gonna call me.

How the hell do you forge an entirely new career at forty? I've never had a fucking mid life crisis before.

[Ronan]
I wasn't concussed badly enough to forget that you owe me fucking answers. Why do you act like you know me? Yeah, I know, probably some Vallo related bull, I got the introductory spiel, but you're still explaining, dipshit.

[Richie]
I just spent $473 at a CVS, then flushed almost everything I bought down the toilet within ten minutes of getting back to the apartment. Do you know how bad flushing pills is for the environment? I should be arrested, Rich. And I won't even be able to post bail when I am because I wasted a full half of my starting stipend.

TUESDAY TEAM TRIVIA AT THE LEAKY CAULDRON

What the actual fuck, Vallo. August? What the hell happened to March through July?

Alright, dumb dumbs, who's still kicking around and buying me a drink? Or several.

Lardo and I have finished watching The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon, the greatest television show of all time (there are no better ones; I will not accept alternates at this time from wrong people). Should I:

A) Restart it from the beginning.
B) Watch something new.






(I'm going to do A, but I thought you might want to have a feeling of influence if I included a poll. Humans fucking love feeling influential.)

Gonna go blow up something in Hank's honor. Anyone in? And if you want to tag along cause someone else you liked disappeared, feel free. I would say BYOE, but if you don't have your own explosives, I guess I can float you some this time.

EDIT: Also, someone sell me your weed.

[ FILTERED TO JAKE PENTECOST + BATTLE ROBOTS TEAM ]
Yo Pentecost - we're on track for early September for your mini jaeger. Everyone's hitting their target goals and we're zooming along well. But I haven't slept in like two days because of that pure caffeine that is Thom's super special coffee drink, so I'm taking the rest of the week off.

You're out of Oreos in the community kitchen. I'll Postmates you some this afternoon.

Hello, good morning.

Name's Mobius, and I just got here yesterday after a bumpy landing. I have some people one person I've studied intimately for literal years, and one adorably feral cat who acts like she's just been tossed into a sink-- Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum? friends here already so I seem to be doing okay. Got a bagel, the DOA lecture, and a map.

Now, hypothetical question - if one were to need a ridiculously ginormous power source, say, something to power a last hope of civilization's escape from the apocalypse (like a train, or a clown car) where would I go about finding one of those? Plus if anyone else has any other Vallo tips, I'd like to hear them. Thanks in advance.


[ooc: blanket warning for loki spoilers in comments, probably!]

[ FILTERED TO MURDERBOT. MORGAN YU, BRIGITTE, HANK MCCOY, & ALOY ]
Hello! I know all of you lead fairly busy lives with murder, app development, running small businesses, headmastering schools, or just figuring out Vallo, but would any of you be interested in working with Jaeger tech? You will be compensated monetarily, you'll get to work with unique tech, and the goal will be to build a one person Jaeger, so the neural load of working the tech doesn't have to be shared with a partner.

Basically, I need a team good with mechanical engineering, brain stuff, coding, and ethics. And you're all it.

I'm assisting in an update of the Tag! app; this update will address a few bugs that have been reported as well as make the app more stable. Grateful? Name your copious firstborns after me.

[ Filtered to Morgan ]

I'm going to a party to celebrate Shitty's important life event - he's becoming a lawyer. I'd rather be downgraded to a bot in charge of children's entertainment than attend in person, so I'll be sending a drone. Would you like to attend with my drone? There are good humans in the Haus.

BROS. It's not every day that my hot ass genius of a partner becomes a hot ass genius of a partner who also happens to have graduated from law school. Let me tell you a story, B. Shitty Knight, Esq. is the best human being in the world, the first to stand up for people but also to stand back and let people shine. He makes the best tub juice, is a fantastic beer pong competitor, shows up at 4 AM to bedazzle the fuck out of a jockstrap when you're having a breakdown, rocks a stache like no one else, and overall I'm just so fucking proud of him.

So in honor of all of that, the Haus proudly presents:

You've Been Served: Case Closed-It's a Kegger-Shitty Graduated-Lawyer Up-See You Later Litigator-This Lawyer is Appealing Haus Party!

Come for the baked goods, the law pun shots, the beer pong, the tub juice, stay for all of that too! On the 18th at the Haus, the party don't stop 'til we drop. Even if you've never been to a Haus party, who cares, stop by! We're going to have a blast.

Haus

I created folders with your Haus party tasks, you guys are amazing, we're going to party it up. Plus, we're doing a bar crawl, LMK when you all are free/if this is a pre-game or post-game situation.

Humans, non-humans, and other:

I require a movie or a media series in which artificial life is a positive force for good. Or maybe just not fucking ominous; that'd be fine too. In so much of your popular culture, advanced technology is depicted as the domain of villainy or cruelty. I promise, we're not like that. Mostly, we're bored and just doing our jobs like anyone else.

I've already seen "Wall-E" and every single Star War. I'd appreciate any suggestions, but I prefer films that have happy endings and don't have much violence.

Haus + Hockey Team -Eric Bittle-Zimmermann

Okay, everyone, Canada's Sweetheart Jack Bittle-Zimmermann is planning a party for our fave Bitty and I'm doing the cake (technically I'm not making the cake, only decorating it, because I would never put that pressure on myself in a hundred billion years). It's a giant Bitty face made of cupcakes, I've been watching like, a fuck ton of Food Network and I plotted this out and I feel good about it.

So here's what I need:

1. People to go pick up cupcakes at various locations because I'm getting different flavors of cake, obvs
2. People to pick up frostings. Like. A fuck ton of frosting.
3. Murderbrones to help me see from above.
4. Shoulder massages, preferably from a mustachioed lawyer
5. Big ass tables.




6. A way to transport the cake creation. I will take any and all suggestions, if I have to live at Faber for the next few days I will.

Intel: I observed a really fucking weird phenomenon: a human turned into a puppet after nearly being hit by another human on a bicycle. Going to guess this is magic bullshit, and therefore doesn't fall under my security jurisdiction, but I figured I'd write about it so you're aware the next time you experience a surplus of emotions and find yourself made of felt.

You guys need more meditation. I hear it helps.