vallo

Ásynja Meadery will go on. Torunn worked too hard on it for us to shutter its doors. The Palace is gone, however. We did transplant a lot of the fruit bearing trees to the winery with help from Freya months ago, so some of the garden lives on.

We do need more help though. Bartenders, one more bar manager, an event planner, and brewers. Someone that likes numbers would be great as well. I'm told keeping profits in gold bars is a bad idea and I have something called taxes?

Thank you to those that reached out. I'm sorry I wasn't very responsive, it was just a lot at once.

(The door opens to reveal a neatly dressed man and woman, both well-pressed and buttoned up. They’ve been cornered by Idris, who is growling at them both as they take a careful step back together. Neither has noted the sensual beat that’s started up around them as Daud steps out. If they weren’t Vallo natives, they might recognize the opening to “Sweet Transvestite” from The Rocky Horror Picture Show)

( Just a Guy Who Fishes )
(As the young couple makes a run for it, Daud sighs with relief. The music stops, and only then does he realize what he's just done. A look of abject horror comes over his face as he goes back in. His friends - something he has now, whether he likes it or not - are just going to love this one.)

( Read more... )

Note to self: When the little piece of paper in the geocache box tells you, "don't put the ring on, it's cursed" - don't put the ring on, it's cursed. Sure, it's the curse of a thousand hives and not something terrible (like death) but still. Make better choices, Kate of the Future.

But thanks, Adam! Geocaching was fun, let's do it again.

FILTERED TO NATASHA ROMANOFF:

I miss you. 🥺

The smell has to be the worst part of cleaning up after a flood. I thought I'd gone noseblind to it years ago, but apparently I took enough of a break that a swamp smells like a damned swamp again.

[Filtered to residents of New Asgard]
I'm nearly done with clearing the seaweed and flotsam out of my house. How are the rest of you faring?

Expect a proper community post from Thor after we're done in the town square, and of course he offers his assistance to any of you who need a hand cleaning up in your homes.
[/filter]

WHO: Kate and Daud
WHAT: Running on rooftops and taking a little break to chat
WHEN: Thursday night
WHERE: Downtown Vallo City
WARNINGS: None

( Did I ever tell you about the bell tower I destroyed back home? )

Caught a fish today claiming to be the Salmon of Knowledge. I quickly noticed problems with this assertion:

- If a fish held all worldly knowledge, you'd think it would know how to avoid obvious bait.
- It wasn't even a salmon.

I called the fish a liar, and the fish insisted "it was just a prank, bro" and then suggested that essential oils would cure my arthritis. I suggested that the Bass of Bullshit would be delicious simmered in a tomato sauce.

I decided to throw it back instead, just in case the bullshit is catching. So, keep an eye out for that one if you're fishing off New Asgard.

I know these hands are terrible. Definitely gross. Probably annoying.

But Deathripper is just so violently happy? It's hard not to be happy for him? Living his best helhound life, sometimes with a sibling team up. He's the best boy.

I have made dozens of attempts at making a purple ink that didn't dry to brown, and it was something that I had never succeeded at. And then I come here, and discover inks in every colour imaginable, from the deepest blues to the most brilliant greens, and every shade of purple I could have imagined, all of which dry true.

I'd hoped to make more attempts once I had better acquainted myself with the flora of Vallo's forests, and to make some other inks to sell at market, but I begin to wonder if there's any point to it anymore. Many of these seem a better quality than I could make myself, though the inks I'd made back home were considered a good quality. Given how colourful the clothes here are, I suppose I shouldn't have allowed myself to be so surprised. I suppose with all the new technologies, they've found a way to make ink in ways better than just using gum, water, and gall.

I said it last year, but apparently I have to say it again this year, since people keep asking: there are no oysters in the summer. This is oyster spawning season. If you got oysters now, they would be soupy and disgusting, and you would be preventing future generations of oysters. This also goes for mussels. Get some damned shrimp and scallops and wait for the Month of Harvest September.

While I'm making announcements: Do not waste your time reading The Outlander's Lady by Belladonna Seward. It's clearly written by someone who never stopped to talk to any of us, and the "plot" is just a thin excuse for increasingly dramatic sex.

[Filtered to Thor]
I just spent forty more dollars on plants. This is your fault.

Today is Memorial Day back home, which I don't really feel qualified to speak on (take it away, Steve). But I looked it up, and it's also Put A Pillow On Your Fridge Day in the U.S., which is supposed to bring you prosperity and good fortune.

So, Lena, Tasha - leave my pillow where it is. It's not just me being messy. Em, I'm about to do the same at your apartment, you're welcome. 💜

Message to Daud

Hello Daud. I wanted to thank you again for your assistance the other day. I think it will take a good deal of adjusting to get used to the magic in this world. I hope you didn't have too many flowers to clean up.

If you would care to join me sometime in the future I would happily repay the favour of plying you with strong spirits.

- Tom

I fear Freya has fallen ill, due to Vallo's latest shenanigans. We were in my mother's gardens at the Asgardian palace when some climbing roses attacked from nowhere. Freya moved to get Torunn out of danger and was pricked by roses herself.

We dispatched the rest of the roses, but Freya will not wake. We moved her to a bedchamber nearby, but I ask that her family come to visit her and see what they may be able to do or perhaps I can bring her to her home? Whatever is easiest. But someone come kiss her please.

These new teenagers we have are terrible at crime. I had another attempted pickpocketing in New Asgard this morning, and it was the sloppiest damned lift I've seen in years. What are the thiefmakers teaching them these days? Go home, practice on the dummy with the bells until you can do it without a jingle and try again.

[ FILTERED TO CAROL, WANDA, & GAMORA ]
i have spent the last day sobering up and reflecting on my actions over the last couple of days.

i was foolish. and rash. and very emotional. the raincloud following me around gave that part away, i suppose. but i apologize to all of you because i realize after jacob's lecture that i was being selfish and entitled and that you are all very good people that were only trying to help.

so i have killed a few boars for you and your families in penance and am working on cooking the meat as i speak. i will come visit your homes shortly with my apologies in person, unless you would prefer i never speak to you again!

[ FILTERED TO OLDER THOR'S FAMILY & FRIENDS ]
hello. thank you for your hospitality, but i am feeling very useless and that is not a great feeling. SO! are there any blood feuds that i can help? quests? duties of older me?

Ok, yeah, so, I was told weird shit stuff goes on here and all that. I was ready for that. But, people have turned into kids, or old versions of themselves...and everyone is treating it perfectly normal? Is it normal? Should I not be concerned about this?

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

[ Filtered to People Over the Age of 18 ]

Hello, children? Any tiny children? No? No children? Great, the fucking filter worked. I've got a lot to process here; children are the antithesis of process, and fuck, you people have a lot of them.

Okay, right, introduce myself: I'm Avicenna, new person, from a crap world (like apparently a-l-l of you, holy shit) but alternate universes are also like, known so while my whelm is on the high side of 'over', I'm picking up what you're putting down, and I have about-- ten fucking MILLION questions but okay, this place is apparently "super amazing supportive and awesome" so I'll just go for this one: I don't want a free bagel (whatever that is); what I want are glasses so I can fucking see all of this weirdness. Do you guys do glasses? Free healthcare? What kind of utopia are we in exactly? Do I need to blow someone? Because I'll definitely need to see to do that right; we've got ourselves a real quagmire. I need details on your medical system and currency, thanks bye.

Also: your network is neat. I tried to break it three times and some autonomaton who called itself Deathface or whatever threatened to kill me, so, gearing up for time #4.

PEOPLE oh my god!! I was over on Wide Street (or ~Rue Grand~ as the theatre people call it) to get those super fancy pastries after training, and I found out that Rogers: The Musical is coming to Vallo!

( OOC cut for my badly edited poster )

This is crucial information, and I don't know how I missed the advertising, but ANYWAY. The show was a massive hit back home before I ended up here, and if you're considering seeing it, YOU SHOULD. It's a little ridiculous and not super historically accurate, but it's fun!

(Also, Steve, I asked, and they said they'd LOVE to have you whenever you want and you obviously get in free. I'm guessing that'd probably be true for the rest of the Avengers here, too!)

P.S. NAT 👀👀👀 we must go, don't argue with me.

If anyone would like to watch a fight being a Goddess versus a Pegasus, come down to New Asgard! It's 0 for 2 for being tossed off the saddle, decidedly not in Torunn's favour at the moment, but I think she's starting to gain its trust.






Oh. Nope. There she goes again. 0-3.

And no, no Valkyries have been spotted, but we have a fresh batch of pollack at the market!

Can any of you build a ramp that a wheeled thing holding a man's weight can roll over? The doctor insists I need to use this contraption for the next week if I want to be able to walk again, magic or no. I have steps into the house that I can't get it over. Payment negotiable.