vallo

What's everyone doing on Sunday? The only right answer is coming to the hockey game.

haus filter.
It's Wednesday. Wednesday is usually Charlie kicks everyone butt at board games night and I don't see why I can't continue to do that here. 7pm in the living room, if you dare.

Grab a coffee or something stronger. I got a text from Care Caroline about what we can only call Vallo being Vallo. She's got her hands f Some of you are likely already aware, so to head off questions and chaos, the DOA can confirm there seems to be some kind of timeslip event happening. Don't freak out if you suddenly have a kid or someone you know isn't the right age. The latter might be easier to adjust to since it's happened at least once before in the time I've been here - but the kid thing may be a bit shocking.

If you need a hand, the DOA has services to help out. That said, though, in an effort to coordinate and assist, we're asking you to chime in here with any reports you want to share so that we can manage resources and get a handle on expectations.



[ooc | this here's the catch-all post, I offered to get one up early for Meghan]

Hey y'all! Exciting news! I know, you're thinking I already shared the fall pie menu—I did!— and it's still available through November! But even better is that hockey season starts in just three weeks! Our home game opener is Sunday, October 24th at Faber, and I'd love to see y'all there cheering us on against the Elvish Eagles, our mortal enemies.

Our team has been working so hard, and it would mean the world for y'all to come out and support them. Of course, if you want to join in on the ice, experience is not necessary! There is still time! You can sign up here! And I'll ask Jack to make your conditioning practice easy so we don't scare y'all off! ♥



[ooc: this is also the reminder that if any of your future kids want to play/be on the team for this game, please sign them up on this too!]

Hey y'all! I'm going to make this a quick little update because I know everyone's getting ready in your fancy dress for the charity event tonight (make sure you bid!) But I know it's September and fall is on the horizon, so that means our fall menu is back and ready for orders! (And yes, Thurvishar, the PSL pie is back! ♥)

We'll be switching out a couple more classic staples and savory pies throughout the upcoming months but just know I have y'all covered!

Also, don't forget that hockey season starts back up in October! For those of you who loved it and want to keep yourself on the team, we'll start practices at the end of September and Jack will run y'all through conditioning! If you ever wanted to learn how to play, we take everyone and anyone of any skill set! No judgment! You can sign up here!

See y'all tonight! ♥

I woke up this morning and went to go get a bagel from the furry that runs that bagel cart and y'know what happened?

The power of music.

I still don't know what the hell's going on here, but hey, we're living in the Matrix, baby! Anything's possible.

[ooc; Anyone that was near A-Maze-in Bagels around 10 AM this morning, saw Nick pulling off this flashmob. You're free to say you were apart of it! After it was over, he promptly ran into the forest. He is currently in a tree somewhere.]

[FILTERED TO CAST OF THE ADDAMS FAMILTY & HAUS RESIDENTS]

YO, I know it's crazy last minute but black & white cast party at the Haus tomorrow night? Bitty's offered to bake if that sways your vote (it should, if you have any taste buds whatsoever, but I'm not here to judge). I was thinking we could put up a projector on the side of the Haus, play some of the old tv show. Or you can just come to get trashed on tub juice. #liveyourbestlife

Just don't show up to opening night looking like microwaved meatloaf.

Edited to add: Or we could do it after closing night and pretend I'm not an idiot who got excited to throw a party with an Addams Family theme? Tell me what you guys want here.

Hey, people who are recovering from any of this going on, we've got casseroles and pot pies and foods that are easy to heat up and will last a few meals. Bitty has been cooking nonstop.

So if you want food delivered to you or a friend, just comment here and I'll stop by with something, we've got poppyseed chicken, hashbrowns casseroles, a few eggplant/vegetarian casseroles, some chicken or turkey pot pies, roasted vegetable pot pies, and a mushroom and potato one.

If you're also cooking and want to join in on food delivery, feel free to chime in, any of us here at the Haus are happy to deliver for you.

Y'all! Nearly five years ago I met the most serious, terrifying, and wondrously kind human being. He went from being my hockey captain to my friend to my boyfriend to my fiancé to my husband (!!!) and I couldn't be happier to spend another birthday with him! First birthday of yours while we're married, honey! ♥ He doesn't like a big show, so I promise I will not talk about all his best qualities for pages, but I do have them at the ready and will break them out without warning!

With that said, I'm offering maple-sugar-crusted apple pie (his favorite!) to anyone who says happy birthday to my husband, Jack Bittle-Zimmermann today! I want everyone to celebrate! 🥰

Lardo and I have finished watching The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon, the greatest television show of all time (there are no better ones; I will not accept alternates at this time from wrong people). Should I:

A) Restart it from the beginning.
B) Watch something new.






(I'm going to do A, but I thought you might want to have a feeling of influence if I included a poll. Humans fucking love feeling influential.)

Um. Hi. I’ve realized that my initial post here wasn’t particularly inviting, and I thought it might be a good idea to try it again.

I’m David Rose. Some of you apparently know me. A lot of you know my sister, Alexis. I no longer totally believe that you’re a cult.

So you can consider this my official introduction.

[DOA Members]
I apologize for insisting that you were all actors. I’m also not a vampire despite what I may have put on my registration form. I obviously didn’t believe that the form was serious when I filled it out. I’m also not 26, but-

[Rose Apothecary Staff & Associates]
I literally know nothing about any of you except for the fact that someone makes pies. Please, introduce yourselves. I plan to visit my store soon and I would like to know who and what to expect.

[Alexis]
Was that completely horrific? I am not used to dealing with this many people so… positively.

[Cleo]
I seriously do still want to know more about that blackmarket fish salesman. I keep thinking about it.

Okay. So I know I was complaining about my utterly, tragically forgotten birthday but that was not a hint that I wanted the most complicated surprise theme party in history. I’m both disturbed and impressed by the attention to detail and the devotion the actors portraying the government officials have to their craft. Great work. Fantastic work.

I would like to know what kind of drugs were used to convince me that I had gone from walking into Cafe Tropical to falling right the fuck out of a giant rock that would probably make the healing crystal crowd literally just drop dead out of sheer joy. That explanation seems to still be escaping me. Anyone care to break character long enough to enlighten me?

Please, dear God, enlighten me. I refuse to accept the alternative. This is not real.

[An addition, added several minutes later]

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PSYCHOPATH MAKES A FAKE BUG THAT BIG?

WHY DOES THE FAKE BUG LOOK SO REAL?

I NEED A LIGHTER SO I CAN SELF IMMOLATE THANKS.

BEST!!! BIRTHDAY!!! EVER!!!

Pies all were so good! I was sad to vote only for one pie every time, because all pies so delicious. I want to vote for every pie! Here, I could not vote for every pie, but I tell you why I love your pie:

Ignis, Gingersnap Crumble Pie: THE TOPPING! Yes, crust is good, filling is good, but TOPPING IS AMAZING. I would eat topping without rest of pie. Straight into face all crunchy, sounds good, yes please. You are so good baker, good job.

Persephone, Apple Pie: Is this pie magic? It makes me feel like my Babka is sitting beside me to eat. This pie was delicious, but better than delicious, it feel good. You are amazing, pie is amazing, now I miss family.

Sophie, Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Pie: This pie was so much, I wanted glass of milk to go with, but also would be good with nice glass of bourbon, too! Pie is INTENSE and GOOD, like third overtime shift go into VICTORY. And so much different feeling in mouth! Great pie, you are great.

Wanda, Raspberry Meringue Pie: This is like opposite of Sophie pie, but in best way! Sophie pie is midnight in autumn, rich and sexy. This pie is beach in summer, bright and cute! It feels like cool water on hot day! So fresh and light, I love! Pie is swawesome, so are you.

Cullen, Dariolles: I did not expect liking this pie, and thought maybe you enter for joke, but surprise, is good! Nice custard, nice break from very sweet stuff! Crust was best part, like you use best butter. You and pie excel.

Morgan, Xian Bing: These pies did not belong in this contest, but I ate six. CRISPY AND DELICIOUS! I would eat more of little Chinese fry pie. Not dessert, not even baking, but SO TASTY, make more! You and pie are unexpected good.

Vex, Wild Blackberry Pie: This pie was SO PRETTY! Was taste good, yes, but also was art. You and pie are beautiful.

Dex, Wild Blueberry Pie: Vex and Dex, you rhyme! And you both have wild pies! Dex, you are holding out on Haus, your blueberry pie is very pretty and very good, and I do not just say that because you and blueberry are both good friend to me! Pie had personality, and blueberry is best fruit, you should make lots more.

Loki, Totally Normal Pie: This pie was BEST JOKE! I laugh very much, because I try pie, think I get apple, instead taste garlic shrimp pasta from yesterday! You make good joke pie with magic, I like. You and pie are funny, good job!

Cassandra, Strawberry Rhubarb Pie: Your pie is BIG and FRUIT! I like both, and sugar on crust was nice, I like crispy bits. And I am not knowing what rhubarb is until I look up, who knew that would be in pie? Surprise! You and pie are winners for good reason!

Dan, Carrot Pie: I am hearing of carrot cake, but never carrot pie! But if sweet potato pie and pumpkin pies, why not carrot? I am never thinking of carrots like sweet thing, but they are! And since is carrots, is healthy pie! Pretty sure I could be sneaking this pie past team nutritionist, so you and pie are super smart.

Tina, Coconut Cream Pie: This is so good summer pie! I want to eat it by pool with drink having umbrella. I like crispy coconut bits lots, they go nice with creamy coconut bits, and crust is nice balance! Pie is fantastic, you also fantastic.

And best of all, blueberry pie Jack is bringing me, because IS ALL FOR ME! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TATER! ))))))))))

Y'ALL! I know the gremlins have been a little bit distracting, but now that they are gone (and goodness, not coming back anytime soon, thanks to y'all who take care of those sorts of things!) this is just your reminder that the bake-off is happening on Saturday! The Muffin Man has been keeping their baked goods recipes on lockdown, but I'm determined to beat them in the ultimate baking display! (But y'all are welcome to eat everything we make, that was part of the bake-off rules.)

It just so happens to be Tater's birthday too, so y'all better come out even if you don't like pie (which bless your heart, I don't know anyone who doesn't like pie and maybe you need to rethink your food preferences and let someone into your life that loves to bake and will make you pie!)

But y'all, don't forget about the Outlander baking contest, too! We have so many talented bakers here and I want to celebrate everyone's skills ♥ So sign up if you haven't already, and whoever wins the competition will get their pie featured at the shop for the rest of the summer!

Speaking of the shop! We still have the summer menu going strong, and a bigger menu for y'all is on the way when we do the grand opening soon :)

SUMMER PIE MENU

Mandy and Jenny (ghosts who are living with us) are very disappointed with Vallo for letting gremlins get crazy. "How do you, like, not know to not get them wet, like, seriously?!" says Jenny. "For real, like, everybody saw that movie," says Mandy.

I tell them I did not see movie. They say, "oh my gosh, that's like if you didn't see Goonies!" I ask them, what is Goony? So now they are making big list of movies I must see or they will start hiding my boxers and spiking my drinks at breakfast. They are writing list on wall. It looks like blood, they promise it is not blood, but they are laughing lots, so I am not sure. List so far says:

MOVIES TATER-TOT HAS TO WATCH
Gremlins
The Goonies
The Breakfast Club
Dead Poets Society
Labyrinth
Heathers
The Lost Boys
Beetlejuice
Stand By Me
Sixteen Candles
Dirty Dancing
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Pretty In Pink
Adventures In Babysitting


They are still adding. So I guess I am never doing anything but watch movies now.

A big thank you to everyone who volunteered for the Vallo Outlander Calendar. I did my best to get everyone involved who was interested, but spaces were limited. We have a few people teaming up on photos. That helped me create more space.

Arthur and Thor, you're sharing a page so the world can have double your face.

In the meantime, here are your Outlander models:

( cut for list )

We're spreading out the photoshoot over a period of 3 days, two weeks from now June 28 - 30 at the Sanctuary. Volunteers, I'll be emailing you a tentative schedule, please respond back to confirm your time, or let me know another time you're free.

No, I'm not telling you who is going to be in what version.

BROS. It's not every day that my hot ass genius of a partner becomes a hot ass genius of a partner who also happens to have graduated from law school. Let me tell you a story, B. Shitty Knight, Esq. is the best human being in the world, the first to stand up for people but also to stand back and let people shine. He makes the best tub juice, is a fantastic beer pong competitor, shows up at 4 AM to bedazzle the fuck out of a jockstrap when you're having a breakdown, rocks a stache like no one else, and overall I'm just so fucking proud of him.

So in honor of all of that, the Haus proudly presents:

You've Been Served: Case Closed-It's a Kegger-Shitty Graduated-Lawyer Up-See You Later Litigator-This Lawyer is Appealing Haus Party!

Come for the baked goods, the law pun shots, the beer pong, the tub juice, stay for all of that too! On the 18th at the Haus, the party don't stop 'til we drop. Even if you've never been to a Haus party, who cares, stop by! We're going to have a blast.

Haus

I created folders with your Haus party tasks, you guys are amazing, we're going to party it up. Plus, we're doing a bar crawl, LMK when you all are free/if this is a pre-game or post-game situation.

Y'ALL! It has been a minute, hasn't it? First of all, thank you to everyone who handled taking down that awful person who was terrorizing Vallo! Y'all are major heroes in my book, so make sure you come claim your free mini-pie for a job well done! ♥ Kratos, you get whatever you want for the next week! Even if I heard what you did and I think that might have been just a little bit of an overkill

On that note, the pie menu this month is full of all my summer favorites, but y'all are going to have to put in pre-orders and do pick-up and delivery while we get the final details ready on Bitty's Bakes! (Oh goodness, that's me, y'all! My own pie shop, which I cannot have done without my wonderfully perfect husband who looks just absolutely fantastic swinging around a sledgehammer and wearing a hardhat 😏 and not without the help of all my friends at the Haus who have worked non-stop, even when I was recovering in April! :( )

We're doing a soft opening this month, with the grand opening corresponding to a very friendly bake-off with the Muffin Man bakery in July. I had to promise it was friendly because I would do whatever it takes to crush him in Keep your eyes open, your baking chops ready, and your stomachs prepared to eat a ridiculous amount of pie! :)

Speaking of baking, I noticed a lot of you were struggling to cook when we were in the past! I understand it was not an ideal situation, and even I had to improvise, but if y'all need some assistance learning in the present, you know I'm always happy to help you learn from pies, to brownies, to even souffles! We can break in my new kitchen at the shop and use the megaoven Brigitte built for it! 😘

SUMMER MENU!

The kiln seems to actually be working, I think. I made a really terrible bowl just to test it and nothing's exploded inside or out, yet? I made it pretty big seeing as Lardo wants to do classes with it but we're going to need a lot of firewood to keep it going.

[Nursey]
Uh. I miss you, by the way. I got some of that expensive ice cream you like for when you're back.

[JOURNAL FILTER FOR ERIC BITTLE-ZIMMERMANN]

Happy birthday, Bits. I know it's not what either of us expected for today, I was going to wake you up with something enjoyable for the birthday boy and then make some funfetti pancakes, so hold me to that when you get home?

Pensez-y, ce sera une histoire amusante à raconter à nos enfants un jour.

I love you, and I miss you, and I'll be here waiting when you get home. With funfetti cupcakes, pretty much all the hugs you're willing to put up with, and-- haha, whatever cupcakes are left of your face. We've made a pretty good dent in them, I had dibs on your lips.

[JOURNAL FILTER FOR SHITTY]

How goes civil rights of the ancient times, Shitticus? Have you seen T