vallo

OH HELLO MY DARLINGS what a delight it is to be seeing you ho ho hoeing it up in this [...] place! I am Nadja and you may see my very HANDSOME colleague Mr. Asterion and you may consider us sort of [...] counselors of a sort! We know that the holidays are just a STRESSFUL time and that there are MANY people who may make that more stressful for you! Please feel free to talk to Mr. Asterion and myself about those people and we will do our best to eat them make them the problem go away!

Perhaps it is that person who has a very large light display that shines in your bedroom window! Perhaps it is an ex-partner who has left you in your wedding attire! Perhaps it is a relative who will not shut up about politics even when you have attempted many times to change the topic but they simply refuse to understand and persist in bringing it up every other minute as if turkey is a political issue and 'it is just so hard to keep it all straight'!

Consider us similar to the large robber man who breaks into your house and eats your food! Except instead of eating your food we will eat people we will listen to your wants and will deliver you peace of mind! Because we are so giving and gracious and sexy!

also speaking of sexy many of you simply need to lean into the being very very very bad and bang out the issues

All queries are entirely confidential, but please, spill those stories!

I understand that there is a group that meets here for queer women that use various styles of weaponry. I love this for all of you and fully support the continued existence of such a place to hang out and have camaraderie.

However, I am useless with a weapon. I stabbed at an intellect devourer once and I think that I might have hurt myself more in the effort and only succeeded in tickling it, so I've since given up and rely entirely on my magic. Best for everyone, though apologies if you turn into cats again or, I don't know, summon a cambion. (Do cambions exist in this world? Perhaps we'll get lucky.)

Anyway, all of that to say that I'd like to suggest or create a sister group, if there isn't one already, for queer women that wield magic. I have no doubt that there will be crossover as I have to assume that there are others more skilled than myself that juggle both, but I am still fairly new here and I thought this may be a nice way to meet others and also just have some conversation, possible demonstration, and drinks, if you partake.

If there is interest, please let me know here and I'll organize a time and place and we can discuss the food and drink aspect to go with.

It it strange to think that three months has passed since I first found myself among those now calling Vallo home, and it still feels as though there is no shortage of interesting things to uncover. The sheer volume of books alone, the information stored in this device, it seems endless at times.

I would like to extend my sincere gratitude to everyone for making this transition into a new world a smooth, and rather pleasant one. My life back home was one that required a certain level of seclusion and covertness for many years, it has been a nice change of pace to speak freely, and if I dare say, embark on friendships.

I would also ask a favour if I could. I am not - entirely alone here in Vallo. Five years ago I took into myself a part of Ultima, a god with rather nefarious designs for my world back home. I have kept him trapped for some time now, and am more than willing to continue to do so. However it is very clear to me that what is possible here may be boundless, and that a more viable solution might be had. With that, I would like to ask if anyone here has had to contain a god before, or part of one, and how it was done. I am, of course, not asking for anything to be done at this moment, or for anyone to take on this task themselves. I had just thought perhaps it time to begin gathering information, to see if there are other options at hand.

It seems that I'm out of practice with the whole battle thing. You help take down one nether brain, take a handful of weeks off in a new world, and suddenly you forget that Misty Step is an option.

That said, I hope that everyone is doing and recovering well. That was something.

KARA DANVERS

I wanted to say thank you, for getting me to the clinic as quickly as you did. I really appreciate the assist, as I know I wouldn't have gotten there without you.

LEON KENNEDY

Thank you for helping Astarion the other day. I like him whole and unsinged, so again: thank you for helping him.

GILMORE

I heard about the shop. Are you all right?

Magically Minded (do you think your character would see this? then yes!)

Greetings all, I am sharing on behalf of myself and Wanda (though I would never venture to speak for her, obviously) as your magical representatives for the DOA. The Directrix of Geliara Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry has requested assistance in first, containing, and secondly, closing, a portal that opened on the grounds of the school. Apparently a conjuration class had a spell go...incorrectly and now there is a portal that they are unable to do anything with.

The second piece to that is that somethings may have escaped. The details on what, exactly, they are, are a bit sketchy, so this may take some time and energy. You can come to the DOA office and read for yourself what the Directrix sent over and if you are so inclined, we can then proceed to the school for closer examination of the portal.

Certainly no one is required to participate but if you do we will most likely have their eternal gratitude and a favor to be called upon later, ho hum, it is very good for relations, and I will purchase the Dashing Doors for lunch. And probably have wine if this goes very late.

Do you know what goes well with sadness? Looking good.

I realise everyone's in their feelings lately on account of the disappearances, but I've news: 'Reap What You Sew' is officially open for business. Want to add a little sparkle to your daily uniform? Is some adornment from home beginning to fray? I do alterations, enhancements, and repairs on demand.

Distract yourself from your misery! Light up the room with an Astarion original. Pay me gobs of this silly land's currency. There will be other children. But another opportunity to look better than your nemesis? It might not present itself again anytime soon. Who's to say?

(Open Tues, Thurs, and Saturday evenings; drop-off and pick-up is open whenever you want. And, of course, I work in DOA intake Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings. So much work! Truly wild.)

Now can I have my villain era?

[Filtered to the Ensemble who all took part in the Musical Finale]

Drinks are on me tonight, mates. After that performance, I say we've earned a few.

WHO: Everybody who came out to smash things at the warehouse today, with featured players Darlington, Nancy, Astarion, Tav, Prompto, Nebula, Rocket, Adora, and Kellach
WHAT: Everybody came here to smash things, and then they get roped into one final number.
WHERE: The Warehouse of Horrors
SONG CHOICE: A situationally relevant take on One Day More from Les Miserables

( One Song More! )

I was havin fun with this whole song and dance thing Vallos got us doing. Then I did a full on number at me favorite diner this mornin. Complete with dancing on the tables and swinging on a ceiling fan.

Today I learned that the ceiling fans at Duffys Diner can not support the weight of a full grown man. I am pretty sure I've fecked up my back.

I'm coming to understand that time travel is somehow achievable in this world? Surprises around every corner.

ASTARION

The new boss has suggested we join him and his person for dinner/company with people of a similar but different world at some point. My understanding is that they've been invaded by children, but I wanted to mention it so we could, I don't know--put it on a calendar?

Note that this is me attempting to get used to having a normal life again, rather than hiking across Faerûn and fighting for our lives and not having easy access to a bathtub.

I had never thought of the complexities of living with both a ferret and a wolf dog before, but my cabin has been chaos ever since Gilly showed up. Maybe I'll be lucky and he'll learn to stop stealing Nighteyes' meat before the two of them manage to smash all my crockery.

All the commotion seems to have attracted yet another fellow. He says seems to be looking for his master. Does anyone recognize him?

( Picture )

[Daud]
Do you care much for brandy? I've managed to acquire some blackberry brandy that is really quite good and I thought I'd repay you the favour of your whiskey while I still have some drinking glasses.

I'm told this is where I should ask about this, but if anyone sees this guy around, I'll pay handsomely for information leading to him.

Don't kill him. Or I'll kill you.

Thanks.

Oi! Vallo! What kind of fecking nonsense is this?! Don't go around telling people I'm gone when I'm not! That's rude!

I've been told that this is the best place to go if someone wants to introduce themselves on arrival here. Which I want to say that this is quite an interesting device, though I feel like I've only scratched the surface on what it can actually do. It's like a very complicated sending stone.

Anyway, introduction: I'm Octavia, I'm originally from Baldur's Gate, which I am also told is not here and most people haven't heard of, and I have been here just long enough to sample a hot pumpkin spice drink served by a quite grumpy pixie and something called a pizza cone. Both were delicious, though the latter was exceptionally greasy which I think only added to how delicious it was? Regardless, an interesting change from camp cooking.

That done, I could use some help with some direction? I'm hoping to track down spell components (amber rod, lodestone, glass cone, and bat guano in particular) and something that can act as a casting focus, as mine didn't arrive here with me.

And finally, thank you to everyone who has been kind and tolerant to Astarion since he's been here. You may not know me yet, but I do appreciate.

HELLO THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHATEVER IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW

BLOODY FUCKING MARY WITH HER BLOODY FUCKING CURSE IS UPON US.

ONCE NANDOR RELENTLESS IN HIS STUPIDITY OPENED THE ELECTRONIC MAIL AND RELEASED HER AND NOW SHE HAS RETURNED

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT HILLARY WHO DID NOT FORWARD THE ELETRONIC LETTER AND THEN BLOODY MARY CAME TO HER IN HER PARTY OF SLUMBER AND MURDERED HER IN HER SLEEPING BAG WITH HER EYES TORN OUT AND A MESSAGE ON THE MIRROR THAT SAID 'ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS FORWARD THIS TO TEN PEOPLE'

CURSES ARE NOT TO BE TRIFFLED WITH EVEN FOR ME THE QUEEN OF VALLO VAMPIRES.

tw: discussion of pregnancy in comments

Things I didn't miss:

Nearly burning down the house trying to make a Thanksgiving dinner.

Things I am missing:

Black Friday. I need new boots and do not want to pay full retail thank you very much.

((pls to ignore the tag dump on this))