vallo

Everyone wish my delightful younger sister Julia a very happy birthday for tomorrow. If you don't know her, she's a skilled bartender at Imperial, she loves pancakes, and is the best Cheeto aunt I could ever ask for. Or be stuck with. Since I am stuck with her and remember that when she was very small I put her in a trash can to see if she would fit. Unsurprisingly, I was scolded for that.

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Here's to another trip 'round the sun, Jules. Hopefully we'll find something more fun to do for your birthday than try to settle the Coke vs Pepsi argument with sticks. I love you to the moon and back, a few times over.



And I will always give you the fuller cup. Probably.

I always wanted to do something big and meaningful with my life. Got a problem? Throw me at it. Fought in the war, stayed in the military working science bullshit (I was the guinea pig, not the scientist), eventually joined up with the AEON motherfuckers...

I don't know man. I'm tired. I just got a job working at that Italian place in the void. Sofia's. I don't think you Vallo-types call it the void, but that's what it reminds me of, so that's what I'm calling it. It's just lugging pasta around, taking orders, but it's solid and it keeps my mind off the kind of shit that keeps me up at night.

And lifting all those heavy trays? Mmmmhmm gotta get me on that dating app thing I keep hearing about. My favor to you.

I don't plan on staying at Sofia's forever - and I mean, I don't know if I can; the bartender had some kinda weird monologue about how the longer I worked there the more I belonged which... nahhhhh - but when I get my feet up from under me maybe I'll go back to something working with the community. I worked in security for a good long time. Maybe with time I'll be feeling all kinds of inspired.

Anyone else fancy and important who are happy doing menial shit for the time being?

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I came across this in the woods today. There's a farm nearby and the people there said it's just "always been there" and had no idea when it originated. And I know it's probably just someone's art project but let's be real, this is Vallo we're talking about and that seems kind of boring for Vallo. Plus, the hand moved?

Okay, that last part might just be my imagination but I swear the fingers wiggled a little.

So.... random tree hand in the forest - is this the logical answer of someone with mad chainsaw skills or something else? Best guesses?

Oh HELLO TINY ONES what a delight for you that I am talking to you on this small thing!

Once, Nandor and Laszlo and I all went to see the most INCREDIBLE necromancer. Oh yes Colin Robinson and Guillermo were there too. And the documentary crew!!! Which, if anyone is interested in being a documentary crew ... person, do let us know, we're very interesting to listen to, you follow us around, you record us with the ... cameras, we tell you about our days, it is so much fun!



Completely unrelated, our documentary crew did have the unfortunate habit of dying. But one was 26 years old, he had lived a VERY LONG life really it was just a matter of time you know.

Our necromancer sold name keychains! I had Nadia, the boring version of Nadja, Nandor chose Steve, not sure why but I suppose Nandor The Rentless may be difficult to find, and Guillermo chose Gigi because Guillermo Greenburg Buillermo would not fit on one. I have ... obtained MANY for all of you so that I may know your names better, please tell me your name and I will supply you with an appropriate one.



Also, Nandor, I need to have PMS with you, make that happen now.






I mean a private messaging system.

[Filtered to Shi Meiying]
Hey, Meimei - I hate living by myself. Do you hate living by yourself?
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