vallo

First, a big thank you to everyone who was able to help in tracking down exactly what's going on with this singing and dancing situation. Hopefully everyone is doing alright--I know there were some injuries, so please make sure you're going to the clinic for treatment, if it's bad enough to warrant it.

That said, there is a warehouse that all of this seems to be originating from. The theory right now is there's some sort of artifact there that's causing it, but unfortunately there are a lot of things in the warehouse, because it's all done up for a party for the upcoming holiday. I'm told the whole place seems pretty doused in magic, so figuring out which thing is causing the issues isn't going to be as straightforward as it looks. The magic itself isn't being dispelled, so we're going back to basics.

Here's the pretty simple plan: we go in and just start breaking things until one does the trick. This is a big job given how large and just how packed the warehouse is, so anyone that's willing to help would be appreciated. The warehouse is located at [coordinates] and a portal is being set up in the DOA offices to help people jump, whichever is easier.

Thank you in advance to everyone that can help out.

CRITICAL ROLE PEOPLE, FUTURE & PRESENT

Sorry to tack this on at the end here, but it's been on my mind and I just haven't had much of a second to bring it up with everything going on. I was thinking that it would be nice to have a meal or something this weekend, hopefully all of the above being settled by then. I know some of you have gone through this time stuff before, but it feels like a unique opportunity to just get together with so many of us.

I don't know if it would be easier to host something at one of our houses or taking over a restaurant? I hadn't thought that far ahead, I'll admit, I just wanted to throw the idea out there.

I'm making an observation.

Dads, I may need you both to run interference with Kiri.

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For as much as I love and appreciate the state of my family in my time, the chance to carry (and be able to carry; I am a weak wizard, please understand) sleeping children to bed has been a delight to get to do once more. I seem to have forgotten how to do some of the key voices during bedtime stories, though. The reviews have been harsh, but understandable.

Anyway, I would request to forgive the sap, but I have grown out of that with time and growth. This is what age does to a man.

SENDING TO CALEB

I apologize for interrupting you, d'anthe, I know you are busy, but are you able to confirm if we still have any oat milk? Also

SECOND SENDING TO CALEB

We need to make it so sendings can be longer. Surely we can work that out. Can you also check if we have coffee creamer?

I was just with Dorian. We'd been back from camping for maybe an hour before I stopped in the office to pick some stuff up.

He can't Everything is so wrong back home and I don't even know if he's safe or if What if he's I can't do this ag

This is fucked.

I've been told that this is the best place to go if someone wants to introduce themselves on arrival here. Which I want to say that this is quite an interesting device, though I feel like I've only scratched the surface on what it can actually do. It's like a very complicated sending stone.

Anyway, introduction: I'm Octavia, I'm originally from Baldur's Gate, which I am also told is not here and most people haven't heard of, and I have been here just long enough to sample a hot pumpkin spice drink served by a quite grumpy pixie and something called a pizza cone. Both were delicious, though the latter was exceptionally greasy which I think only added to how delicious it was? Regardless, an interesting change from camp cooking.

That done, I could use some help with some direction? I'm hoping to track down spell components (amber rod, lodestone, glass cone, and bat guano in particular) and something that can act as a casting focus, as mine didn't arrive here with me.

And finally, thank you to everyone who has been kind and tolerant to Astarion since he's been here. You may not know me yet, but I do appreciate.

MOM? Do you want me to just off this person FOR you???? WHO IS IT????

I think I can speak on the strongest of authorities when I say that testing one's immortality will most assuredly render one's fiance upset.

I will also speak on the strongest of authorities by stating that the issue with a 'shampoo-conditioner-body wash' combination product is that the goal of the shampoo is the removal of oil, a source of moisture--the goal of the conditioner. Having the two in the same product renders one ineffective, usually, the conditioner. It is true that there are very similar ingredients in shampoo as in a body wash and I cannot truly argue that, however this also assumes that your hair and skin have similar needs, which may be entirely incorrect.

And please, please, please, do not use the product on your face, the skin on your face is far more delicate and sensitive than the skin of your body (fragrances included). Facial cleansers and moisturizers are formulated for skin types for a reason. When creating a skincare routine, start with cleanser and then layer product in order of thickness. If you have questions, come to the store where I will not only sell you glorious magical items that will astonish and amaze but also provide answers. I'm a full service sorcerer.

Who now, apparently, needs to figure out how to remove a condiment from feathers, Vax'ildan, darling.

So that is what kind of Monday it is going to be like, eh? Dragon friend, do not worry, they are all very dangerous and remarkable.

[FILTERED TO ESSEK]

Is there ah- something you wanted to tell me?

Do we think that maybe there will be something else that attacks this week and maybe it's a good reason to stay home and not go to school? For safety. Thank you!

Also, there were lots of people who were interested in riddles and that was VERY fun to learn new ones so I thought I would share a different type of riddle/puzzle! It is called a magic square and you put the numbers in the box so that the totals of each row, column, and diagonal are the same! Kiri helps me when I get stuck.

Xhorhaus

Also, there is a wolf who has been circling the house. I have been observing it since we went to school. And now that we are going home, it is sort of following us. I'm not scared though, because it seems very friendly. And big. Please advise.

And Caleb you should stay inside just in case.

ENID & WEDNESDAY

I just got home from the library and I noticed that the wards protecting the house were messed with. They weren't fully broken, but it's odd so I'm going to be asking for some help to reinforce them and get one of those cameras for the front door and other places on the lot, just to look out. I don't know that it was anything nefarious, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Anyway. About Fig I know that I'm not Anyw Please let me know if there's anything else I can do to make things feel more secure, all right?

CALEB

I think someone might have tampered with the wards on the house. I came home and they were clearly touched, though I don't know if someone was trying to break in or if that is just me being paranoid. Either way, will you come over when you have a chance and check my new warding work, just for another set of eyes?

Also, I just wanted to Today has been When you have a chance, that's all.

MATTHEW & TALCOTT

I don't How was the wedding? Fun?

ATTEMPTED FILTER TO CALEB (it failed, he forgot to do the actual filter)

[written in Undercommon]

Hello, husband.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you right now. I'm taking a break from knitting to let you know this, so I hope you understand how serious this update is. The drinks are very good, even with the straws. Maybe because of the straws? I require additional information.

also, I need you to know that you're very attractive even when you put your books in nonsensical places.





actually you're very attractive then, too. Perhaps especially. It's vexing.



Also Can you bring us soup?

I took several videos of my husband as a kraken, for those who missed it and would like to see. He's very impressive.

BLUE

I have been doing research. You said that you did not require a bachelorette party. My research, however, is claiming this is very essential and something that someone in my role or equivalent would plan, so I am checking: are you sure you do not need this celebration? I would be happy to plan something for you, even if.

KIR

About Willi
I know you have grown fond of
Do you feel Willi is essential toward your life happiness
If Willi was at the shop, would you

Can you think of anything else that you may require for school? I know this is an unpleasant subject, but anything else you can think of that we can get before next week, I would like to hear of it.

CALEB

Also I changed my mind. Willi can stay at the house.

So, right, I run a Dungeons and Dragons group that's been going on for awhile (it's a tabletop role-playing game) (which is basically storytelling while getting into conflicts) (we're always taking new players, I can teach you, go to Mike's store for dice) but sometimes I like trying new games because one sheet games are easier for everyone to learn as there's literally like, three rules to learn and it's a good way to get started or try a new genre. I tried to play Lasers & Feelings with Teddy, but it turns out that when you're the long prophesized ruler of two forever warring races (thank you Kree, thank you Skrulls) who actually has to sit through hours long meetings with diplomatic envoys, it takes the fun out of roleplaying in space.

So, Feng Shui 2 is like playing a character in the most Michael Bay John Cena Dwayne The Rock Johnson Jason Momoa Jason Statham Whoever is the New James Bond John Wick Hey We Need Other Gender Representation Up In Action Movies cinematic masterpiece of all time. Think every action star cliché you can think of, and then put all of those characters in a movie with an unlimited CGI budget. Who are you? The grizzled veteran sucked in one last time? The child of a recently deceased famous parent come to make your parent proud?

For everyone who has always wanted to put on sunglasses while slo-mo walking away from an exploding building or pulled a helicopter out of the air by sheer brute strength, or said a quippy one liner before becoming a blur of martial arts, this is the game for you. Give me your action star name, your cliche/trope, and your signature move/catchphrase, and let's go save the world.

I don't have an official day yet, I figure when I find out who's interested I'll send out a few dates and we can pick whatever works best--and if there's a big demand we can make different groups by who is available when, I don't mind. As per usual, there will be snacks because if there's not food, Tommy will riot.

Teds

So the fighting made me think

Do you miss

Or maybe you don't miss because you're doing it

You were a better superhero than me

But maybe I sort of

What if

Hi.

I require dish ideas for zucchini, particularly those that hide it enough that a young kenku might not realize they are an ingredient.

I will also accept people willing to take some zucchini themselves.



Basically, I may have planted too much zucchini. And the golem is staring at me and I know it is irrational, but it feels as though they are judging my gardening hubris and

CALEB

Hello.

Do people like riddles? I know MANY riddles. Here's one to start: what word of five letters has only one left when two letters are removed?

I would also like to try some in return, thank you! They help keep my brain sharp, because my d guardians are very smart! Kiri is also VERY smart so, it's important that I keep up!

Talon to Night Owl and Eagle Eye

I have a very important question and the question is this: what are the rules about keeping...not pets but maybe something LIKE a pet?

HAPPY NEW SMUT TUESDAY, VALLO.

Listen, I can't be the only one who gets to enjoy fresh new smutty romances every Tuesday, so I am here to bring you a list of new releases that you should be checking out, too. You can come by Chastity's Nook, or request Frumpkin-delivery if you'd prefer smut-on-demand. Let's see what we've got up for grabs this week:

Spellbound Hearts
In the enchanted realm of Elysium, a talented sorcer and a dashing rogue find themselves embroiled in a quest to save the kingdom from an ancient curse. As they battle through mystical challenges and unearth long-lost secrets, their hearts become entwined in a spell of love that defies all odds. Perfect for fans of people banging in forbidden places (but I can not confirm or deny who's doing the banging because spoilers).

Shadows of Passion
Amidst the darkness of an ever-encroaching evil, two warriors from rival clans must join forces to protect their land. As they journey together, their initial animosity transforms into an intense attraction that threatens to ignite the very flames of passion, ✨✨binding✨✨ them closer than ever before. (✨✨IYKYK.✨✨)

Whispers of the Moonlight Dance
In the ethereal moonlit woods, a graceful elven princess and a noble human knight meet unexpectedly during a masquerade ball. Drawn to each other's enigmatic allure, they embark on a clandestine romance, but their love must withstand the prejudices of their divergent worlds. (For fans of banging wherever as long as the LOVE is forbidden~)

Arcane Enchantment
Within the walls of the esteemed Arcanum Academy, a gifted mage and a promising alchemist are paired together for an experiment in magical synthesis. As they weave spells and mix potions, they discover an enchantment that goes beyond the arcane arts - an enchantment of the heart. It's giving Hot for Teacher, minus the teacher.

Fates' Embrace
Destined by an ancient prophecy, a fearless dragon rider and a mysterious oracle find themselves bound by a shared destiny. As they confront epic battles and formidable foes, their unyielding bond blossoms into a love that transcends time and empowers them to face their shared future. For fans of BANGING ON DRAGONS.

Thank you for coming to my presentation. You should 5000% buy a copy of all five. Trust me, they're all five extra 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶!!

Hello, I have many observations to share and the observations are this:

1. I saw Essek turn down Soups, Soups, Soups, Soups, and instead, go to a restaurant and order salad.
--This was very suspicious so I started following him, because Essek never turns down soup.

2. There was a cat on the street and Essek ignored it.
--This is also suspicious, Essek loves cats. We have many of them, they live at the tower.

3. He purchased a regular coffee, plain, black.
--Essek does not order plain, black coffees, he orders things with lots of whipped cream and shares it with me and Kiri.

4. He is walking.
--Essek does not walk, he floats. Sometimes it's hard to tell because he wears robes, but he is.

My conclusion is that this is NOT Essek. So right now, I am acting very natural and walking with this Essek so that he is not suspicious that I am on to him. Also, I am asking him many questions and although some of the answers ARE correct, he did tell me that I didn't have to go to school.

I hope that the wonders of what people can accomplish in this place will never cease to amaze me. A week ago, I woke up with nearly six years of new memories - and a collar around my neck that suppressed all of my magic.

We had uh- a potentially catastrophic event happen at home, though I am not sure of how it will go from here and Vallo did not see fit to give me memories that far ahead. Perhaps I am dead, I- But the important part is that friends here were able to help me out of my annoying predicament and I am feeling more myself now. I am very thankful and hopefully my gifts found their way to you via Frumpkin.

I am a little more settled in age now. Ronan has already commented on my little slivers of gray hair but Essek assures me they look "distinguished". I have a few more tricks to teach my students, so this is a good reminder that if you would like magic tutoring beyond a university or school, I offer that to anyone who would like to learn. My brand of magic does not require you to have previous magical abilities, you may start from nothing.

And finally, if you are in the market for a job and happen to like books, I am once again hiring at Chastity's Nook. We specialize in smut and rare books and do not judge, so you must keep an open mind. Please come save Matthew, though he is getting very good at faking his enjoyment of pirate shafts.