vallo

Do you know what goes well with sadness? Looking good.

I realise everyone's in their feelings lately on account of the disappearances, but I've news: 'Reap What You Sew' is officially open for business. Want to add a little sparkle to your daily uniform? Is some adornment from home beginning to fray? I do alterations, enhancements, and repairs on demand.

Distract yourself from your misery! Light up the room with an Astarion original. Pay me gobs of this silly land's currency. There will be other children. But another opportunity to look better than your nemesis? It might not present itself again anytime soon. Who's to say?

(Open Tues, Thurs, and Saturday evenings; drop-off and pick-up is open whenever you want. And, of course, I work in DOA intake Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings. So much work! Truly wild.)

BELLS HELLS

Calix made me that bank account and it has a bunch of money in it. I very highly doubt it's from him so I guess it's one of those Vallo money things, not fucking complaining. Am complaining that he's gone but

But, you know. Give me an itemized fucking receipt of whatever you're missing, Dorian, and I'll get you your money back.

After that, let's go out tonight. I can only handle trying to be so much responsible and it's been forfuckingever so let's get sloppy.

GILMORE

If you were given like some fucking potion or salve, would you be able to figure out what's in it that makes it tick?

Also uh pretty sure my kid went over to yours when he first got here and was all freaked out about it and me and us not knowing him so, I know you haven't done it yet or anything but a preemptive thanks or some shit for being a safe place for him to drop when he needs to in the future.

WIDOGAST

I've got a question for you when you've got the time.

First, a big thank you to everyone who was able to help in tracking down exactly what's going on with this singing and dancing situation. Hopefully everyone is doing alright--I know there were some injuries, so please make sure you're going to the clinic for treatment, if it's bad enough to warrant it.

That said, there is a warehouse that all of this seems to be originating from. The theory right now is there's some sort of artifact there that's causing it, but unfortunately there are a lot of things in the warehouse, because it's all done up for a party for the upcoming holiday. I'm told the whole place seems pretty doused in magic, so figuring out which thing is causing the issues isn't going to be as straightforward as it looks. The magic itself isn't being dispelled, so we're going back to basics.

Here's the pretty simple plan: we go in and just start breaking things until one does the trick. This is a big job given how large and just how packed the warehouse is, so anyone that's willing to help would be appreciated. The warehouse is located at [coordinates] and a portal is being set up in the DOA offices to help people jump, whichever is easier.

Thank you in advance to everyone that can help out.

CRITICAL ROLE PEOPLE, FUTURE & PRESENT

Sorry to tack this on at the end here, but it's been on my mind and I just haven't had much of a second to bring it up with everything going on. I was thinking that it would be nice to have a meal or something this weekend, hopefully all of the above being settled by then. I know some of you have gone through this time stuff before, but it feels like a unique opportunity to just get together with so many of us.

I don't know if it would be easier to host something at one of our houses or taking over a restaurant? I hadn't thought that far ahead, I'll admit, I just wanted to throw the idea out there.

For as much as I love and appreciate the state of my family in my time, the chance to carry (and be able to carry; I am a weak wizard, please understand) sleeping children to bed has been a delight to get to do once more. I seem to have forgotten how to do some of the key voices during bedtime stories, though. The reviews have been harsh, but understandable.

Anyway, I would request to forgive the sap, but I have grown out of that with time and growth. This is what age does to a man.

HELLO?



Weirdest spot you woke up in this morning, go.

Last Friday was Night of Ascension, the holy day for my personal death goddess back home, which would make it the fourth that I have observed in one way or another since I have been in Vallo. That's more than I had the chance to celebrate with my spooky brethren back home, which is its own mindfuck to roll around in my brain. Insert something here about getting old, time being a cruel master, so on and so forth.

Though, on the topic of things that I've lived through multiple times since being here: anyone else thinking about how we're halfway through October?

I've been told that this is the best place to go if someone wants to introduce themselves on arrival here. Which I want to say that this is quite an interesting device, though I feel like I've only scratched the surface on what it can actually do. It's like a very complicated sending stone.

Anyway, introduction: I'm Octavia, I'm originally from Baldur's Gate, which I am also told is not here and most people haven't heard of, and I have been here just long enough to sample a hot pumpkin spice drink served by a quite grumpy pixie and something called a pizza cone. Both were delicious, though the latter was exceptionally greasy which I think only added to how delicious it was? Regardless, an interesting change from camp cooking.

That done, I could use some help with some direction? I'm hoping to track down spell components (amber rod, lodestone, glass cone, and bat guano in particular) and something that can act as a casting focus, as mine didn't arrive here with me.

And finally, thank you to everyone who has been kind and tolerant to Astarion since he's been here. You may not know me yet, but I do appreciate.

GILMORE

Just letting you know on this very random and totally not at all an anniversary of an occasion, I can order flowers and light a lot of candles really quickly if you want a nuptial-like atmosphere in the gaming room at the youth center.

Or in the sitting room at home.

And honestly, would be remiss not to mention the blood pool. Always a solid choice there.

(I love you.)

I think I can speak on the strongest of authorities when I say that testing one's immortality will most assuredly render one's fiance upset.

I will also speak on the strongest of authorities by stating that the issue with a 'shampoo-conditioner-body wash' combination product is that the goal of the shampoo is the removal of oil, a source of moisture--the goal of the conditioner. Having the two in the same product renders one ineffective, usually, the conditioner. It is true that there are very similar ingredients in shampoo as in a body wash and I cannot truly argue that, however this also assumes that your hair and skin have similar needs, which may be entirely incorrect.

And please, please, please, do not use the product on your face, the skin on your face is far more delicate and sensitive than the skin of your body (fragrances included). Facial cleansers and moisturizers are formulated for skin types for a reason. When creating a skincare routine, start with cleanser and then layer product in order of thickness. If you have questions, come to the store where I will not only sell you glorious magical items that will astonish and amaze but also provide answers. I'm a full service sorcerer.

Who now, apparently, needs to figure out how to remove a condiment from feathers, Vax'ildan, darling.

Do we think that maybe there will be something else that attacks this week and maybe it's a good reason to stay home and not go to school? For safety. Thank you!

Also, there were lots of people who were interested in riddles and that was VERY fun to learn new ones so I thought I would share a different type of riddle/puzzle! It is called a magic square and you put the numbers in the box so that the totals of each row, column, and diagonal are the same! Kiri helps me when I get stuck.

Xhorhaus

Also, there is a wolf who has been circling the house. I have been observing it since we went to school. And now that we are going home, it is sort of following us. I'm not scared though, because it seems very friendly. And big. Please advise.

And Caleb you should stay inside just in case.

Fuck
I don't accep
Trinket is g
She's

FRIENDS

Just humor me and tell me you're fucking here.

One of the kids at the center alerted me that this is bisexual month. (Color and italics required, I don't make the rules.) They explained there's an awareness week and a visibility day coming up, so they figure that means we should get the whole month and frankly, I agree.

Let's go, fellow bisexuals. September is our month. Maybe October too, on account that I really like Halloween.



Okay okay, I'll share October and the Halloween joy. November, though? I'll report back.

To whoever sent the edible arrangement, please know that was incredibly thoughtful of you. Really, just so selfless and kind. I have a feeling it was sent from someone who is only soft and truly considers me to be a close, loving friend and confidante. Rest assured that Trinket and I ate the shit out of it.

Anyway, I'm truly bored. I don't know what was promised to Rodrigo, but I have never been bossed around more by an Unseen Servant. Tell me tales of the outside, because I fear I'll be laid up in this bed forever, if this floating vest has anything to say about it.





And, you know, kraken fucking suck and yeah okay thanks, Diego, for making sure I didn't get eaten by one for the second time in my bloody existence and have to have another meeting with my goddess. Also trying to decide if this means I should eat more or less seafood?

SHAUN & VEX

oh my fucking gods

before anyone claims otherwise
I'm fine.





because of bracers and me being a paladin or some shit and

I don't know if there is anyone else that practices Druidcraft or something like that, but don't try to use it to perk up your cut flowers or houseplants right now. I thought maybe they'd be exempt from all this, but uh. They're not.

Can you tell I'm not a magic person? Because I'm really not.

EXANDRIANS

Good fucking morning, I remember more from home and I'm including all of you because I don't know who does and doesn't give a shit.

( Cut for spoilers through CR C3E63 if you're worried about that! )

HAPPY NEW SMUT TUESDAY, VALLO.

Listen, I can't be the only one who gets to enjoy fresh new smutty romances every Tuesday, so I am here to bring you a list of new releases that you should be checking out, too. You can come by Chastity's Nook, or request Frumpkin-delivery if you'd prefer smut-on-demand. Let's see what we've got up for grabs this week:

Spellbound Hearts
In the enchanted realm of Elysium, a talented sorcer and a dashing rogue find themselves embroiled in a quest to save the kingdom from an ancient curse. As they battle through mystical challenges and unearth long-lost secrets, their hearts become entwined in a spell of love that defies all odds. Perfect for fans of people banging in forbidden places (but I can not confirm or deny who's doing the banging because spoilers).

Shadows of Passion
Amidst the darkness of an ever-encroaching evil, two warriors from rival clans must join forces to protect their land. As they journey together, their initial animosity transforms into an intense attraction that threatens to ignite the very flames of passion, ✨✨binding✨✨ them closer than ever before. (✨✨IYKYK.✨✨)

Whispers of the Moonlight Dance
In the ethereal moonlit woods, a graceful elven princess and a noble human knight meet unexpectedly during a masquerade ball. Drawn to each other's enigmatic allure, they embark on a clandestine romance, but their love must withstand the prejudices of their divergent worlds. (For fans of banging wherever as long as the LOVE is forbidden~)

Arcane Enchantment
Within the walls of the esteemed Arcanum Academy, a gifted mage and a promising alchemist are paired together for an experiment in magical synthesis. As they weave spells and mix potions, they discover an enchantment that goes beyond the arcane arts - an enchantment of the heart. It's giving Hot for Teacher, minus the teacher.

Fates' Embrace
Destined by an ancient prophecy, a fearless dragon rider and a mysterious oracle find themselves bound by a shared destiny. As they confront epic battles and formidable foes, their unyielding bond blossoms into a love that transcends time and empowers them to face their shared future. For fans of BANGING ON DRAGONS.

Thank you for coming to my presentation. You should 5000% buy a copy of all five. Trust me, they're all five extra 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶!!

I hope that the wonders of what people can accomplish in this place will never cease to amaze me. A week ago, I woke up with nearly six years of new memories - and a collar around my neck that suppressed all of my magic.

We had uh- a potentially catastrophic event happen at home, though I am not sure of how it will go from here and Vallo did not see fit to give me memories that far ahead. Perhaps I am dead, I- But the important part is that friends here were able to help me out of my annoying predicament and I am feeling more myself now. I am very thankful and hopefully my gifts found their way to you via Frumpkin.

I am a little more settled in age now. Ronan has already commented on my little slivers of gray hair but Essek assures me they look "distinguished". I have a few more tricks to teach my students, so this is a good reminder that if you would like magic tutoring beyond a university or school, I offer that to anyone who would like to learn. My brand of magic does not require you to have previous magical abilities, you may start from nothing.

And finally, if you are in the market for a job and happen to like books, I am once again hiring at Chastity's Nook. We specialize in smut and rare books and do not judge, so you must keep an open mind. Please come save Matthew, though he is getting very good at faking his enjoyment of pirate shafts.