vallo

I was rewatching my favorite episode of Sanctuary Moon (episode 324, "Galava's Belt") earlier today and now I have a question that I am not sure I want to know the answer to, but I'll ask it anyway and if you all are disgusting in your answer I'll just fucking ignore you: why do humans shut their eyes when they kiss their romantic partners? Is it the pores? I bet it's the pores.

Bros! Anyone want to get down and dirty with some clay? My eyes were def bigger than my hands at an art store, and the deal was so legit I couldn't NOT buy it? So we have A Lot of clay at the Haus. Come by and take some!

Lardo Lesson! Polymer clay is best for like, beginners and kids because it's soft so you can mess with it a lot and you can bake it in the oven when you're ready, so that's super handy. Earthenware clay is what you see when you see flower pots--that's terracotta which is a type of earthenware. It's a little stickier to work with but it's pretty easy to use. And then stoneware clay is the type of clay most people think of when they visualize a pottery wheel, it's the grey clay. Not that other types can't be, but for simplicity sake, yeah.

I'm not amazing at pottery or sculpture with clay, I usually go for like, mixed mediums when doing sculpture--Shitty bedazzled the FUCK out of a jock strap for me once and it was the greatest thing in the world--but I know basics! And I have a wheel somewhere here that I can dig out if anyone is really curious or has a kid who wants to try, just wear clothes that you don't mind getting messy in! No kiln though, damn.

(Dex, build me a kiln when you got a sec, please and thanks)

My fave pottery piece I've ever seen was mixed with performance art. One of the shows at Samwell, person literally sculpted a piece of shit, right? And they're like, by the end of the night it will be something different so people were sitting around watching them mold and shape and carve and whatnot. End of the night, it's still a piece of shit, literally. Person stands up, takes a bow and says "I call it politics." Amazing.

HAUS! Come meet new baby, help think of name. I am not creative enough, I will just call her Malyshka all of time.

( the baby )

Shelter promises she is not vampire, just has supernatural cuteness.

[Filtered to Solaire]
Nice to see you at shelter today! Did you find good friend to take home, too?
[/filter]

Y'all! I know this is the day of love, but it doesn't have to be romantic love! It can be any kind, and if you're eager for something sweet, I have an assortment of mini-pies ready to go for either sharing with yourself or with a loved one. ♥ Pick them up at Rose Apothecary!

FILTERED TO THE HAUS.

We all have plans today, but y'all better make sure you're home to wish a happy birthday to Nursey! There is a delectable caramel carrot cake with thick layers of cream cheese frosting waiting, and you only get a piece if you're here to sing! :)

BIRDS
THEY ARE TOO MANY
COULD NOT KICK ALL THEM
I AM IN TREE BY LAKE
HELP

Y'all. It has been a time this January, honestly! And for all of you that came out to the hockey game on Sunday, your support is always appreciated. Win, lose, or tie! We're working out another time for a re-match against the Eagles, but until then y'all can swing by Faber to watch or join hockey at any time! We'd love to have you! ♥

While I have y'all here, it's February, and I just know you're looking for your holiday pies for your loved ones or to share with yourself because you deserve it! All our pies at the apothecary this month can be ordered early and sent ahead as a care package or as a secret admirer! And the strawberry cream has been heavily vetted by Shitty because I wouldn't serve y'all subpar strawberries!

If you're new to Vallo, especially y'all from the snowglobe, and you haven't gotten your welcome pie yet, you know what you have to do :)

FEBRUARY MENU FOR ROSE APOTHECARY

I am happy to see we are having dance party at Geliara for Valentine! Will be fun, seeing everyone have good time, celebrate love. And I love dancing!

[Filtered to the Haus]
I am looking at things happening soon in Vallo, and I see there will be pet adoptions on Valentine Day. Also party with dogs and cats.

If I find good dog or cat, could I maybe keep at Haus? I will take good care of pet and share cuddles with all.
[/filter]

[DOA Leadership]

As of early May, I'll have my Juris Doctor Law Degree. I was already prepping for the MPRE before I showed up in this place, and I've kept on top of that along with furthering my degree and dealing with the strange inconsistencies of this place that we call Vallo. I have a few questions that I'm struggling to get answered:

1. Since there's no Multistate here for the Multistate exam, is there an equivalent or do we just bypass the Responsibility Exam? Since it's difficult to transfer credits to or from home (or provide much in the way of legal precedence), is it more of an honor system?

2. With the MPRE out of the way or completed, that leaves the Bar Exam. I assume Vallo has some kind of exam you need to pass in order to practice law within the city limits or even within the geographical confines of the island - or possibly under, if Atlantis wants to share any sort of jurisdiction.

3. Once I've completed those two things, there then comes the matter of employment - does the DOA have a need a lawyers, specifically those with a strong grasp of property law? Or should I request a loan to go into private practice? Firms needing junior partners? Are there actually any Outsider lawyers here?

Thanks for your time and I look forward to any responses.

Sincerely,
Byron S. Knight

HAUS

OK I wrote my motherfuckin letter to the DOA about finishing my degree. Professional and everything, be proud. Now I need a fuckin beer and some karaoke. Who's in?

Brooooooooos! Winter is sometimes gross, giant bugs are definitely gross, but you know what isn't gross?

Art. Art is boss ass.

Sometimes I don't feel like sharing what I'm creating with people until it's done, sometimes I scrap a project halfway through, sometimes I never share what I've made, but sometimes? Sometimes I just want to sit around with chill people and sculpt the shit out of something amazing.

Or substitute your medium of choice, it's cool.

Soooooooooooo anyone interested in getting together and arting it up? Judgement free zone (unless you invite critiques, in which case, we'll put down guidelines because having the courage to have what you're creating examined by someone in public is amazing, but some people aren't ready and that's cool too). BYOS (bring your own supplies) and projects. I have no idea how many people, if any, are interested so I'm offering the Haus as a space for now and if we get bigger, then we can find somewhere else.

Sorry Samwell bros, ILY, thanks in advance.

So like, next week Sunday maybe? Short notice, I know, but I came across some LEGIT fabric that I'm dying to work with.

Tracking multiple targets, tagged A through G. Appear to be heading toward a nest. 95% chance of mission success, according to my Risk Assessment Module which always loses its shit over stupid things so I'm confident. Have discovered the following weak points on exoskeletons [see attached]. Advise to utilize accordingly. Do not advise trying to break through exoskeleton by hand, not because it's ineffective but because it's fucking gross.

Unrelated to targets: Hockey people, the party was not intolerable. Utilization of the Murderdrone mitigated the social anxiety produced by the crowd and noise. Still prefer giant bugs to parties but my opinion of parties has gone up thanks to what I am classifying as the "Haus Effect". I did not hate it. It was endearing rather than annoying seeing you all in various states of sobriety versus near-toxic inebriation. I appreciated your maintenance of common sense throughout, Jack. The Beyonce was implemented well. I am pleased you survived, Nursey, because now I have enough blackmail material to be Boss Ass Bot of the Island, if that were my ambition, which it is not. And finally Lardo, damn girl, your command of your beer pong skills despite the volume of alcohol you imbibed was impressively precise.

Target C spotted me and alerted others. Murder incoming. Theirs. Not mine.

[GILBERT]

Anne Shirley-Cuthbert you are a strong independent woman who can handle rejection and there's no reason to be worried about this at all, it's just your heart on the line, nothing serious here. We've techically gone together to two events but

Hi. Hello. Um. I know we're already spending a great deal of the holidays together, but I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to one of the New Year's Eve parties? As a date. It doesn't have to be a I've seen a few advertised and they seem like such a fabulous, celebratory time, one to herald in a new year and accept the blessings of a fresh beginning! Not that we need a fresh beginning. We just need us, all of us.

... This got away from me, as most things do. But I look forward to hearing your response, Mr. Blythe.

[LADIES + BASH]

I miss Cole in times like this a dreadful amount but we make the best of it! I possibly have a date for New Year's Eve and even if he says no, I'm going by myself because I can do that sort of thing. But I could use help ummm. getting ready?

I know there's not a great deal to work with here, but I would be eternally grateful for any advice or help any of you might have to offer. What sort of attire is generally accepted at these parties? What should I do with my dreadful hair? Should I accept the freeing embrace of a woman on her own and lop it off?

... I don't know that I can bring myself to go that far just yet but please help? I know it's vain of me but I'd like to look pretty?

look im glad 2 have hockey 🏒🏒🏒
but this snows been a bummer and i miss jonesy rn
cuz wed be balls deep in the season
and the hicks wud be throwing a sick xmas party next week
and i miss the snipes home frum skool
tho i dont miss shoresy fuck u 🖕 shoresy

maaaaaaaan this sux 😢

So I know I ain't the first person to ask but there isn't a way to get any message back to where we came from? Been calling the number to the house and bothering the pants off whoever has that line here in this world.

"How many times do I have to tell you, there isn't any Hal here!" the lady yelled at me last time.

But maybe next time I try it'll slip through like we did, yeah? If whole people can go through worlds then why not a phone call?

Dunno. Thought I'd try it today. Lonesome, like. Ought to get a job, quit being a layabout. It's been a few days, plenty long enough.

Goodness, all these new arrivals. What a joyous season for Outlanders! I would love to greet you all individually on your introductions but alas I am having a rather busy morning and afternoon myself, so please allow me a bit of a catch-all here.

A-Maze-Ing Bagels is located just west of the Rose Apothecary though I do move around from time to time to keep my customers out of puddles or snowbanks or anything else uncomfortable... and your first visit is FREE! So please come out, tell me about yourself and your home and if your friends are here. Your favorite book? Movie? Story? Type of architecture? My name is Glenn and I hope to earn your business as you settle in here.

MR. RONAN
Mr. Ronan, I keep hearing about a video for new Outlanders. Is it possible to have my business featured in it as well? I've been told I have a face for movies. Or moooovies, if you don't mind the pun.

[FILTERED TO PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO PARTY INCLUDING JACK AND BITTY]

Fuckers, Fuckas, and Fuckees, you are cordially invited to attend the Christmas Before Christmas Celebration of the Mother Fucking Year and I do mean it's going to be something else. It's Jack O'Lantern Frenchface Zimmermann's Equality Bash. December 3rd. 7pm. Bring your A game bros because this is gonna go for hours. This isn't some fuckin sexist bachelor losing your freedom bullshit, so all orientations and genders (or lack of) are welcome to come party your god damn brains out to celebrate the life and times of two of the best people I know and I sure hope you can handle it because for real bros, we'll take care of you respectfully if you can't handle the Christmas tub juice. Everyone's safe.

Then you have 48 hours to get your shit together for the wedding. Tell everyone so this shit isn't MISSED and then I have to listen to people complain about missing something this bad ass.

[FILTERED TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE TO PARTY BUT AREN'T JACK AND BITTY]

Dearest Friends and Fuckin Compatriots, you're invited to attend a showing of the life and times of two grand fucking people who are about to get married. A lot of work has gone into an amazing documentary and we're setting up a pretty wicked fucking theater room to watch it in. Drinks and snacks will of course be provided, so you don't even have to BYOB, just BYO Ass and put it in a seat. It's sure to be a treat and I want you all to enjoy yourselves. December 3rd. 7pm. Don't be late!

FYI as a personal favor to me, I'm marketing this as a wild fuckin bash so if you hear people talking about it that's why and I need you to help keep that illusion going. It's going to be a major fuckin surprise all right, please don't ruin it. Just separating this out so you bros are all comfortable coming out to this without having to feel like a wallfuckinflower or some shit, it's all good. Lardo's put a goddamn lot of work into this, come out and support it?

[FILTERED TO PEOPLE WHO JUST WANT TO BE SOCIAL SO PARTY OR NO PARTY IS FINE BUT AREN'T JACK AND BITTY]

December 3rd. 7pm. Come out and be fuckin social for a good time. It's being marketed as a huge bash or whatever, so play the fuck along, but I can promise you'll enjoy yourself. You're probably seeing two filters on this post, don't ruin the goddamn surprise or you'll have to see Lardo after class and bro, you don't want that, I promise you.

Peace the fuck out, I have to take pie to the boss.

Guests of the ZimBits Wedding minus Zimbits, sorry bros ((IDK, you decide if you belong here, guys))

Bros!

You lucky people are coming to Jack and Bitty's wedding, which is going to be an amazing celebration of love so bring your tissues or someone's shoulder you can cry on (I'm going to stand on a step stool so Shitty can cry on mine). Don't got a someone? That's chill! Got multiple someone's? Also chill! It'll be wicked fun either way.

I've been working on what to give Jack and Bitty for their wedding besides the gift of my organizational skills to put this celebration together and I've come up with it but I need YOUR help. Yes, you. I'm talking right to you. As we all know, Bitty makes pastry delights that melt the hardest of hearts, baking and cooking are his passion, and I have reaped the rewards multiple times otherwise I would live on dinosaur chicken nuggets and Glenn's bagel sandwiches. SO I'm putting together a cookbook of all of their favorite people's recipes which means I need you!

It doesn't matter if the ingredients can't be found here yet. It doesn't matter if your instructions are like 'I don't really remember, maybe a finger's worth of garlic.' It doesn't matter if you yourself are a terrible baker/cook and can only make ice water--no judgement, bros! I'm making a scrapbook so all of the recipes and the stories with those recipes will go in that and I'll give it to them so hopefully I can continue to reap the rewards of Bitty's culinary adventures and not live off of chicken nuggets and bagel sandwiches (but seriously bros bagel sandwiches are amazing, go get you one).

tl;dr, find me, write down your recipe and your story. Thanks bros!

Uh. Hi, I'm Will? They kinda told me to introduce myself so, yeah. I had cookies in the oven.

FILTERED TO THE VALLO HOCKEY TEAM.
(If you signed up here this applies to you!)

Clear your calendars! You're invited to Faber Rink on Friday night to celebrate our upcoming game! Food will be provided. ♥ I'm just so proud of y'all and look forward to showing off to Vallo all your hard work and determination on Sunday!

( FILTERED TO THE HAUS. )

Hey y'all! I don't know about you, but I'm excited about so many wonderful events this month! Dan and Allison are getting married! ♥ Satinalia is this whole week, which I recommend checking out! And naturally, there is a new menu at Rose Apothecary for pies! I tried something new for y'all who have some struggles in the kitchen especially as we head into the holidays from my world where I'm from and want to celebrate!

But most importantly, I am so proud to announce that the Outlander hockey team is going to have an exhibition game at Faber on November 15th! They have been working so hard during practice and would so appreciate your support! You can see all the progress they have made! And I might be a bit biased, but hockey can be fun as a player and as a fan so y'all will have a good time no matter what! :)

We also need a name. So if some of y'all creative types have an idea, we're open to hearing it! ♥

Rose Apothecary Menu for November

EDIT: We are also looking for someone to be the mascot! Skating skills not necessary, just a positive attitude!

I'm having a rough fuckin month. Just tripped and landed on the lumber, broke it right in two. Just got it from home last month, too. Wait, waaait. Magic's a thing. Can anyone say a few words and put this thing back together like new?