vallo

Alright, you lot. Satinalia begins on the 1st of November - I'm here to tell you a bit more about it and encourage you to attend for at least one of the nights (especially Saturday the 7th, because that's a wedding and my dashing Diego is walking his sister down the aisle and his bum is going to look so good in whatever trousers he wears).

Thedas has two moons, you see. One of the moons is called Satina which is where Satinalia gets its name from. It was originally a festival that was dedicated to an Old God of Chaos, but now is more associated with the moon and always occurs at the beginning of Umbralis, which is November to you all (our calendar is quite different - time telling, in Thedas, is also a bit strange and dwarven clocks are really the only sort of clocks around). Wearing masks is very much a thing for it though, hence why all nights are masquerade-ey in nature.

One of the other traditions is electing a Town Fool to set fun, silly rules for that time. Our fool this go at it will be Toph Beifong, so starting November 1st - her laws are valid!

Any further questions about Satinalia, let me know. I'm either at the Black Emporium, Skyhold, or my beautiful ship - Siren's Call II, for those who are unaware.

Jesus H. Christ on a cracker

[...]

Right.

So. Literally every goddamn person in this place knows """Dan"" and apparently it's his birthday tomorrow and the only reason I know this is because when I said I was thinking about what to do in my own life tomorrow he got some fucking sad puppy dog eye thing and was all like 'oh, okay...' and now apparently that means that I am inviting, ugh, no, not that telling people that if you want to show up on Friday, 7, at the axe throwing place and say things to him, that would be appropriate.

He's also marrying into my family, which I still think means he should throw me a party or at least give me a gift or something, so consider it like a [...] celebration of that too. I guess. Even though the idea of bachelor parties is archaic as fuck because it implies you're losing something but whatever. So it isn't that. Just a statement of fact.

Please do not consider this as an invitation to be my friend, I have enough friends and they are the be

Great.

Cheers Vallo, it's your problematic fav: Gideon Nav with a heartfelt request.

I like you, Vallo. I like your zest, your "what even is this shit?? I can't even deal, but whatever" attitude. I like your selection of all black outfits and I like your other colors, I suppose, maybe. I like your live-and-let-live philosophy. I even liked getting chomped by a dinosaur on some level because the adrenaline rush was sweet and now I can say I got chomped by a dinosaur and not even be lying. I like your fight clubs, and I like your theatrical extravaganzas. But most of all I like your food - I mean, I like my friends, obviously, my new friends come first, but I'm talking now about the FOOD. I like it maybe a little too much because I've been eating enough pastries the last three weeks to make an internal parasite blossom and I really need to do something about that.

So, I request - a workout buddy! That's right. While I never needed a workout buddy back home at the Ninth, mostly on account of my being locked inside my cell 12 hours a day and being watched by megalomaniacal nuns the other 12 hours, I think I would appreciate a workout buddy now. Doing sit ups and pull ups every morning just isn't going to cut it with the amount of carbs I've been shoveling into my gaping maw, and rather than slow the carb train, I need to up my physical activity. Plus, let's be real, this is as much of a favor to you as it is to me, because I'm awesome and I have heard on good authority that they made that "Welcome to the Gun Show" muscle-tee about me. It's practically biographical. I am also supportive when I need to be and tough love when I need to be. I may even call you a 'tit' if you act like one. The sky is the limit.

I will accept a male gym buddy, but to be perfectly honest, if I'm going to have to put up with spotting you and watching you sweat I'd really rather prefer this be an aesthetic experience, so girl power is more my angle in this one. I promise I will not be creepy. If multiple work out buddies are amenable to a group thing, let's do a group thing. To apply, please make a comment here and I will either completely ignore you or swoon. It's Russian roulette of emotions. Let's go, Vallo!

If you've a need to punch out your fears, Fight Club is rapidly approaching this weekend, the 17th. If you're interested in participating, stop by this week to sign the waiver.

We also have an expansion on The Underground to officially unveil - a training room for enhanced visitors. Everything has been built, magically enchanted and tested to withstand nearly* any strength level and power thrown at it, so those of you with a tendency to bring down walls and burst punching bags are welcome to safely spar and train here. The first visit is free, and then standard membership fees apply.

*Kratos tested, but we'd prefer if you didn't bring down the whole block around it trying to best that. Neighbors might complain.

[DIEGO, SEREFIN, JACOB]

Would anyone like to explain what that was about?

[SARA LANCE]

I can make myself available for punching and/or alcohol, if you could use the company.

I need coffee and something to hit. But it needs to be something and not someone cause my fists are too angry for people.

Alright, you lot - there's something coming from that island that was discovered, the one vomiting all the wee flying dragons and I've no idea what the details are but if anyone wants to join my crew and sail off, I've got a ship now. Isn't she beautiful? I'm calling her Siren's Call II - she's from my time with the Raiders of the Waking Sea.

I'm taking sign-ups today, we'll head out tomorrow. Diego, you've no choice, you're already my Quartermaster.

WHO: Isabela, Diego, and Molly
WHAT: Princess Powerful accepts a dinner invitation
WHERE: Morningside, Bela and Diego's apartment
WHEN: Recently
WARNINGS: Excessive garlic bread?
STATUS: Complete

( They weren’t Chase or Nico, but they were all right. )

So I've slowly been getting back my Pokemon Go collection. Finally. I have too many gifts. Does anyone else play so I can get rid of some of these? Send help! SOS.

Outside of that, I dunno. Does anyone wanna start a soccer team or something?

[ooc: Added later]

[Whoever's in charge of school or whatever]

Hi. My name's Molly Hayes and I'm 13. Do I need to tell you anything else to go to school?

Okay, so the video answered most of my questions except where are my friends but it definitely didn't tell me if Pokemon Go was a thing. It's already going to be disappointing because I had so many back home and I have to start ALL OVER. Oh no. Is this a place run over by Captain Americas Pidgeys? The potential disappointment is serious. This feels like a place where there'd be a lot of Pidgeys. Are Tsumtsums popular here? I lost all of mine apparently. Ugh. And if any happens to see a black cat with a crescent moon on the side of his face, can someone tell me? He should respond to Rufus.

( Runaways & Co )

Right. It has been a while since we I did one of these, and there have been several new arrivals, so: hello. This is Anders, nominal coordinator of magical research etcetera. If you have questions about how Vallo works then I might have answers, and if not, I can probably point you at either whoever is working on finding them or the funds and resources available to do so yourself.


[Sabrina]
Thank you, again. The end result might not have been what we were looking for, but that you were willing to try means a lot.

[Dorian & Isabela]
Can I count on you two to manage the Emporium for the next few days?

WHO: Isabela & Diego
WHAT: Diego gets a memory dump
WHERE: Morningside
WHEN: Early morning on the 14th
WARNINGS: Nah, just some schmoop! And spoilers for UA Season 2~
STATUS: Complete

( Progress, he thought. Growth, even. Gross. )

WHO: Isabela & Hawke
WHAT: A little girl talk, a little planning a week-long debauchery celebration
WHERE: The Black Emporium
WHEN: Monday morning
WARNINGS: Very little
STATUS: Complete

( It’ll be alright. I know it’s a bullshit platitude but it will be. Even if I have to make it. Somehow. )

[Solona + Anders]
Come by on Friday, Sabrina's willing to do her thing. I know I'm pushing this, and I'm sorry.

[DOA]
It won't be till your November, first week of it, but our little group is planning a festival from home called Satinalia. One of the aspects is we pick a fool, and they get to rule for a day. Obviously we can keep that in house if it would be too complicated to sell it to the Vallo government itself. Just wanted to touch base there.

[Dan]
Do you want to come escape your future in laws?

[Diego + Bela]
Wicked Grace night? We're busy this weekend but maybe the one after that?

((ooc: more spoilers, y'all, happy Friday))

( Fryes, Serefin, Bela )

Now that my inju I've never had to get a job.

What's uh, a good start for an assassin who spent a couple of decades in the apocalypse?

So, recommendations. I'd like to get another tattoo and perhaps 'sketchy guy with a needle' might not be the best idea. Also the ball was really grand and for those who don't have a fancy castle, Skyhold is available for your fancy party needs. Don't know why I'm doing this to myself. Why yes, I am distracting myself.

[Sabrina]
Was gonna ask last month but you had your play. Would you still be up for helping with Anders' illness? Along with that, would you be willing to help someone else too? My cousin got the same deal.

[Anders]
Asking Sabrina. On other news, I've found some places that might work for your idea and if you want to come rescue me from paperwork we can check them out?

Jesus Christ. Has anyone seen Vanya, Ben Ben, Klaus, Allison and Diego and Luther Hargreeves?

No, disregard that. I'm going to find coffee.

Maker bless this incredibly weird place that did not even turn it's nose up when I asked for this incredibly amazing shirt.

( cut for image )

On some more serious matters, we've had some disappearances in our corner so this is a call out to fill some positions. Skyhold is literally too big for me alone to handle and we can use someone to look after the library, and the horses. Experience with both would be useful.

As for the Emporium I could use another hand with the magical items part of it. I know very little about them save to go 'oh, shiny' and they should probably be handled/sold by people who know what they're about.

I figured I'd ask people here, we've had some new faces so hello, before I extend it to the locals. I may have to step back on patrols a bit, I think because managing both Skyhold and the Emporium is a lot.

Are you injured and being kept on rest? Do you have need of adult or erotic fiction to keep you company? Do you like surprises? Chasity's Nook is reopening today (after a brief respite) with the option of Mystery Book Delivery, a random book from our shelves delivered to your door within hours.

Contact me with your genre of choice and address, payment can be collected electronic transfer or left with my familiar, who will be doing the deliveries. Danke.

[OOC: Deliveries are made within an hour or two by Frumpkin, a large Bengal kitty with a harness that can carry two books attached to it. He has a money container too, and accepts pets and love. The books themselves are various genres of history, mystery, fantasy, romance - all adult and some pretty smutty. he's going to tailor the choices to what your public posts have been like? Science or mystery for the nerds, warrior stuff if you're a fighter, LGBTQA+ if you've got a same-sex partner etc. Some are trashy! Some are great! Feel free to assume :D]

Welcome to the Black Emporium!

It really misses something when; it's said over this and not said in the original owners voice but do you have a need for unique items? Some of which are magical in nature, in full admittance but surely you could use a new sword? A new piece of armor that you can't find anywhere else? Some very unique crafting items that I'll wager you will not find outside of Thedas? Look no further! The Black Emporium is here for you.

It opens 8am till 7pm whenever I'm not on Patrol and can be opened by request.


And no I didn't name it nor am I renaming it. The original owner would know I renamed it and I'm not incurring the wrath of someone who was able to hide this place in a city full of Templars.

[Brigitte]
Hey, it's Hawke. Given your skill with crafting I'm happy to work out a trade if you like? The shops' going to cater to rich folk with too much coin who like fancy weapons for the sake of having them so I was wondering if you wanted to make weapons for the shop. If you want to keep some of the materials for ourself that's obviously alright with me.

[Team Thedas]
Yeah. I'm just...not. Dealing with the disappearances. Distractions right? And they're fine. Right?