vallo

You can have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what do you pick? Jalapeno poppers? Swiss rolls? Money? DRUGS?

Yes I'm judging you for your answers.

Polarizing question time! Die Hard - is it or is it not a Christmas movie?

Regardless, hosting a marathon of the Die Hard movies tomorrow in the Morningside rec room from 2 PM onward for anyone that doesn't have any plans. I'll be ordering in food, BYOB.

[ FILTERED TO JACOB STONE ]
Christmas bar brawl??

Well, I missed noting it by a couple days, but that just means you've officially been stuck with me for a year and a couple days, Vallo.

And what a forking weird year it's been.

I wouldn't trade it though.

...god bless us everyone, I guess.

When your dad kills Santa and becomes the new Santa.

But Santa is based off his dad.

Life is weird. Merry patricide.

Drink.

So as December hits, I'm reminded of the fact that there is a SMALL POSSIBILITY that, um, we're all getting thrown into a winter holiday Hallmark movie. Or, as it stands to reason given past instances, several winter holiday Hallmark movies.

What the fuck, you may ask?

Well, there's a reality altering witch among us (Hi, not you Wanda! ♥ There's others!) that's been looking for her special someone for the past few decades. She occasionally finds her wintertime beau and we'll get a couple of years of relative peace during this time of year. Since the Outlanders have arrived, we haven't experienced this phenomenon. However, sources (read: witchy gossip among the Ankou grannies) have told me that Ms. Hallmark just broke up with her bff of the last three years and so we might be in for it this year.

So what are we in for?

A town called Serendipity Hills appears for a few days. Some of us locals get pulled into it to live out fairly cheesy holiday movie tropes, while Ms. Hallmark tries to find her new Mr. Hallmark. Other than living out a few days of gazebo dates, winter bake offs, log cabin snowstorms, and fireplace romances, not much else happens. Serendipity Hills also shows up on our televisions as a show so we can catch the latest romances as they're happening. And from all past experience, everything that happens is something our inner selves want to have happen, it's just a little holiday love magic setting the mood. The locals that do get pulled in sometimes have new names and backstories, but at their core, are still themselves.

We've also found that the people that get pulled in want to get pulled in at some level, so it's become tradition to let it run its course. I got a girlfriend out of it a few years back. Ask me about my Hallmark persona. Also, trying to pull anyone out never works, so we simply don't try anymore. Does Ms. Hallmark need therapy? Probably. But I'm not the one to tell the reality altering witch what to do.

So head's up, weird shit might happen this month (as always), but it's fairly harmless. Do I have anymore answers than what I wrote here? No. Are there whole viewing parties dedicated to Serendipity Hills? Yes. Hit me up, I'll send you a list of the best ones if this does go down.

EDIT: Hallmark definition for the uninitiated.

A giant tomato just tried to chase me down. Like giant. Down the sidewalk. Took out some poor persons bicycle and rolled up a flight of stairs like it was nothing and then attempted to yeet itself at me and ended up splattering against a wall.

I'm not sure I believe me either.

Currently seeking the best tomato recipes.

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( FILTERED TO EZEKIEL JONES )

If you were having a bad day or feeling down about yourself, there were few people who could give you an ego boost as quickly as Alexis. After months of working with her, wine nights, gossip sessions, watching her plan an event like almost no one else except maybe my friend Tahani, I'm going to miss my bestie.

I can't even be mad, though, because at least Vallo gave me time to get to know her and knowing this place, it could always bring her back. In the meantime, if you need a similar pick me up, try the Beyonce Compliments Your Hair froyo. It's almost as good as when Alexis would. Almost.

David.
I spent last night watching trash tv and drinking with Marina and generally wallowing, but how are you doing?

Zeke.
Guess I should tell you. I have news.

[ FILTERED TO YEONG-JA & TINA ]
Okay, this is all still a lot, but I saw that people were talking about how this...thing is coming to an end and I just...

Do you guys want to grab a couple of pizzas and go hang out with Kailani tonight?

I was initially going to play dumb on this thing but from the looks of this library that metaphorical ship has sailed. Also I read back.

I guess since that means I won't be making my interview with Paris-Sorbonne University admissions today at lunch, I should just be thankful I made it out of Oklahoma somehow.

Also was I fucking some guy who called himself Thor? Actually no not gonna ask that one. One step outside of comfort zones at a time.

Is this before or after the giant sentient vegetables attacked? Or the dino robots? OR the frogs that were trying to convince people to kiss them? Just trying to set up a timeline here.

FYI, Adam's on vacation from now until after his honeymoon. So we're running a special on detailing and custom trim, custom wheel wells, all the fancy mods you can think of for cars and bikes. Think of it like having a piece of the future.

I got like three days left here (not an indication of how long this thing lasts btw). If anyone wants free upgrades to their tech, now is the time because my younger self is squirrelly.

Jake, the evil doll is loose. Sorry. I forgot we had it in that trunk, we move it in the future. Watch your ankles.

[ FILTERED TO FRIENDS & FAMILY OF THE BARNIC CLAN ]
Alright, Nyx and I were going to wait until after the winter to get it up, but he pointed out all the free labor we have access to now so...

Barn raising over the next few days. If you can come by and pitch in to help, we'd love it. We know there's things going on this weekend that you might be going to, so we don't expect you to be there for all of it. But if you can come by for a few hours now and then? We'll feed you for your help.

Also, just for my amusement, if you had to explain hockey to someone who has never played or watched hockey before, how would you do it?

[ FILTERED TO NYX & LUCY ]
Hi. So. We have an appointment at 1 PM to go look over ponies. Are you up for it, Lucy?

Greetings! My name is BFF 3000, now known as Anastasia Barack Obama Yu-Bot, progeny of Murderbot and Morgan Yu. I would appreciate it if you referred to me as Stacey. I chose not to reveal my presence until now, mostly because I have just arrived and also because you all are more 'hot mess' than 'hot catch.'

For the sake of ease, for me, I have indexed and catalogued all of the posts on this network into any of the following categories:

1. Dick-In-Hole (or simply 'Sex')
2. Coffee? Or Tea?
3. Stuffing Food Into My Gaping Maw
4. Drink Drank Drunk
5. HELP
6. Basic Bitches/Generic - per Jack Bittle-Zimmermann

Now, if you would answer some questions for me I would truly appreciate that as well.

1. What would you add to your Babysitter Kit out of all of these: a 'cute' movie, a friendship bracelet, board games, a book?

2. Which club would you most like to join: Debate, Book Club, Theater, Dance, or Model UN?

3. Is Cher Horowitz your Personal Hero, yes or no?

Thank you for your time! Let's be friends!

fam filter
I honestly lost track like three things in yesterday so sound off? I need a number to expect for brunch at the house tomorrow before I hit up the store.

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Grab a coffee or something stronger. I got a text from Care Caroline about what we can only call Vallo being Vallo. She's got her hands f Some of you are likely already aware, so to head off questions and chaos, the DOA can confirm there seems to be some kind of timeslip event happening. Don't freak out if you suddenly have a kid or someone you know isn't the right age. The latter might be easier to adjust to since it's happened at least once before in the time I've been here - but the kid thing may be a bit shocking.

If you need a hand, the DOA has services to help out. That said, though, in an effort to coordinate and assist, we're asking you to chime in here with any reports you want to share so that we can manage resources and get a handle on expectations.



[ooc | this here's the catch-all post, I offered to get one up early for Meghan]