vallo

HAPPY NEW SMUT TUESDAY, VALLO.

Listen, I can't be the only one who gets to enjoy fresh new smutty romances every Tuesday, so I am here to bring you a list of new releases that you should be checking out, too. You can come by Chastity's Nook, or request Frumpkin-delivery if you'd prefer smut-on-demand. Let's see what we've got up for grabs this week:

Spellbound Hearts
In the enchanted realm of Elysium, a talented sorcer and a dashing rogue find themselves embroiled in a quest to save the kingdom from an ancient curse. As they battle through mystical challenges and unearth long-lost secrets, their hearts become entwined in a spell of love that defies all odds. Perfect for fans of people banging in forbidden places (but I can not confirm or deny who's doing the banging because spoilers).

Shadows of Passion
Amidst the darkness of an ever-encroaching evil, two warriors from rival clans must join forces to protect their land. As they journey together, their initial animosity transforms into an intense attraction that threatens to ignite the very flames of passion, ✨✨binding✨✨ them closer than ever before. (✨✨IYKYK.✨✨)

Whispers of the Moonlight Dance
In the ethereal moonlit woods, a graceful elven princess and a noble human knight meet unexpectedly during a masquerade ball. Drawn to each other's enigmatic allure, they embark on a clandestine romance, but their love must withstand the prejudices of their divergent worlds. (For fans of banging wherever as long as the LOVE is forbidden~)

Arcane Enchantment
Within the walls of the esteemed Arcanum Academy, a gifted mage and a promising alchemist are paired together for an experiment in magical synthesis. As they weave spells and mix potions, they discover an enchantment that goes beyond the arcane arts - an enchantment of the heart. It's giving Hot for Teacher, minus the teacher.

Fates' Embrace
Destined by an ancient prophecy, a fearless dragon rider and a mysterious oracle find themselves bound by a shared destiny. As they confront epic battles and formidable foes, their unyielding bond blossoms into a love that transcends time and empowers them to face their shared future. For fans of BANGING ON DRAGONS.

Thank you for coming to my presentation. You should 5000% buy a copy of all five. Trust me, they're all five extra 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶!!

I think, perhaps, I've grown dependent on cats to feed me. ( Cut for image! )

That pizza did nothing wrong.

CALEB

This is me, checking in. Hi.

Attention people who expressed interest in a roller derby league:

This is officially happening! I'm still working on ironing out the specifics right now, but things are coming soon. I'll be popping up again in a few weeks with info about skating lessons for anyone who needs them.

Please no one start the end of the world, or try to take over Vallo in the meantime. Thanks.

LILA
YO. I've been thinking that we should set up a standing jam session. I mean, as standing as it can be with Vallo doing what Vallo does. We have some leads on other people interested in the band, so we could get them in, too, see how they vibe. As much as I enjoy peddling smutty books, I need more music in my life here.

KATOU, ROZ, AURORA + LILA (added Saturday morning)
Lila and I have been talking about getting a band going and I remember talking to you all when I was here before I blipped for awhile. Do you all still want to jam? We've got Lila on drums, and I'm on bass + vocals, so we need one or two guitarists, someone on keys, and more vocals.

Who pushed me into the blood pool last night? I am not mad, I swear.

Follow up: Who told the children about the blood pool?

YOUTHS FILTER [AKA AGES 16-22]

Look, I know a lot of us aren't supposed to be this age normally but we are and we're here for fuck knows how long so I think we need to have some kind of get together. A party, as it were.

Thing is, I have plenty of money for things like food and drinks and shit, but I don't really have a place. I'd say at the place I've been staying, but there's an old as all hells gnome, an anxious bard that probably needs a fucking nap, a literally tiny child, and FCG and while most of them are fine, they still kind of, you know, cramp some style.

So: party tonight, I can make sure there's drink and all that, but anyone have a suggestion on the where? Don't know how long we'll all be here so might as well fucking enjoy it while we can.

OLD AF GNOME, BLUE BARD-IN-CHARGE, & FCG

I have plans tonight.

This is me showing some fucking growth and not just disappearing so I think that means you're supposed to show you trust me by not following me around.

helLO

Doreein said that people I know arent here but I want to make sure. Can you say if you are

Will (best friend)
mama (mama)
Derrig (Will's dad)
Nel (Will's mama)
Berenie or Lita or Maeve

thank you



Also I climbed a tree and Dorein doesn't know yet so don't tell him okay?

💐🌸🏵️🌺🌻🌹🌼🌷☘️🌱🪴

bro who can i pay to buy me cigarettes, NO one wants to sell them to me?? i have someone's wallet cash!!!

Hold the FUCK UP. How is it April when it was just January? 😭 I mean, I know, it's fucking Vallo, but it feels like I remember being here like yesterday??

Where are my people at? Adaine? The Hangman was here like five seconds after I left the DOA, and it's honestly kind of rude that he didn't bring you with him if you're still here.

Well.

Hm.

The front of our house seems to be made of biscuit. Gingerbread, specifically? As well as frosting and various types of candy. I was doing some magic experimentation last night, but nothing like this so I think that I can firmly place this under the header of Vallo Weirdness, however it seems like a good idea to check before Fig actually follows through with her threat of eating it and leaving us with some structural questions and new windows.

Hullo. Chastity's Nook has a void that cannot be filled with even the biggest of coc erotic novels, unfortunately. I am not looking for a Jester replacement, no one can replace her (though please know that if she is home, her and Fjord are enjoying themselves on the open sea being pirates of a sort) in my life and in this shop.

But we do need more employees. I cannot ask Matthew to shelve the monster dick books anymore. His face does this thing and I immediately feel bad even though he is a very good employee and perfect at Enchanted Nook.

So if you are interested in a job at an erotic & rare book store, please come by Chastity's Nook anytime after 2pm any day. The pay is good and the hours will be flexible after the holidays but it is busy right now. You must be 18 years or older and non-judgemental towards all kinks and passions and preferences. We do have a few hard lines to that rule but it does not come up much.

[FILTERED TO FRIENDS]

After the holidays I believe I will be leaving my teaching position at Geliara and will be starting a private magical teaching service. I would like to branch out in magic that I teach and age ranges, to help others who may not qualify for Geliara and I do not have time without stepping back.

I have not told the Headmistress yet so please do not say anything, on the chance that I wake up tomorrow and decide this was a terrible idea to entertain. Do tell me now if it sounds terrible.

Hello? I am not sure where I am. My mother and father might be looking for me.

There is a lot of ice cream here. Are we allowed to eat it?

What's up fam??? This is craz-amazing. Crazing? Crazaming? Something like that. You, citizens of Vallo, can make my dreams come true by finding the following for me.

Also, sorry, those of the past, I'm Catrin. Okay, back to the list.

1. My crab Crobby. You can tell he's my crab because the following.
a. he is 3 feet tall and a CHONKY boy we love him
b. he's probably armored so like, probably the only giant armored crab around but hey IDK your life
c. might have a CHONKY frog on top of him who answers to Boggy

2. My Mum. You can tell she's my Mum because of the following:
a. she is a genius divination wizard answers to Professor Abernant (or Mum, or Adaine, again, IDK your life--except if you're calling her Mum you're either me or Bran, and like, if you're Bran, why haven't you found me yet?? oh wait, Greater Invisibility, duh)
b. she is GORGEOUS, we stan us a gorgeous genius.
c. Might be carrying a CHONKY frog who answers to Boggy.

3. Your animal pictures. They can be the following:
a. CHONKY
b. cute
c. furry
d. scaly
e. slimy
f. fishy
g. winged
h. all of the above.
i. none of the above.

Also, I know it's fall, but you all still need sunscreen, especially if you're doing anything on the water, because it reflects back. :*

HEY VALLO. Since it seems like I'm going to be here for awhile, I need to put a new band together since the rest of Fig and the Cig Figs aren't here. We played primarily rock/punk rock back home and I was the frontperson/bass guitarist. Have dreams of being in a rock band? Do you play any instruments? Want to learn one? Let me know! Let's jam! Let's get some gigs!

I'm going to say whoever's interested, let me know here, then meetup with me on Saturday and we can all just play together and see if we vibe.

And if you don't particularly want to play music but want to be involved, we could use a manager, too. Seriously, all interest is welcome.

ADAINE

How was speed dating? Did you get your kisses in?

Unrelated, the Hangman has started calling me Mistress, so he might be on the mend. He still misses Fabian a lot, though. 😔

Sign-ups for the annual pumpkin carving contest here! Carving party at my place next weekend, anyone welcome! I'll post pictures of everything here on the network for admiration/ridicule as needed.

Just letting everyone know that tomorrow's Zeph'aeratam classes are going to be cancelled, but we'll be meeting back up again for Thursday's classes. It has been brought to my attention that self care is real important, so this is my attempt at dabbling.

Thanks for understanding!

MM 2.0 ATTENDEES

Now that we're all home, I just wanted to say: hey, I'm Orym. I hadn't met most of you before all of that and there really wasn't time for pleasantries, so now felt like a good time.

Thanks for all the work you guys put in to getting us out of there. You all did real good, for whatever my saying that is worth.

DORIAN
So I've been wa I realized Adaine and I don't have anything good in the fridge and I'm super freaking hungry. Do you all have any food? Can I come look for snacks? Like it's totally fine if not but if you're bored or whatever, I could pay you back with music or something.

Woke up this morning to find my van waiting for me on the street here. Gotta say, I'm really digging this 'random gifts from home' thing that Vallo's got going on here.

( Check her Out )


The waypoints are nice, but it's going to be nice to be able to get out and drive again.

[Kate Bishop]

She's very roomy. Want a tour? I can come pick you up.

[Hawkins Crew]

She's going to need a little TLC if I'm going to have her ready for the race at the end of the month (she'll definitely be ready one way or another), if any of you want to help out a bit.

[Max Mayfield]

Want to be my copilot?

[Billy Kaplan]

Hey, so I've been working on an open campaign, but I don't want to step on any toes with what you've already got set up. Mind if I pick your brain a bit?

In a couple of days it will have been five months that I've been here in Vallo and while I know a lot of you have been here way longer, it's definitely the longest I have been settled in one place in a very long while. Where does the time go?

BELLS HELLS

Hey, I meant to mention this earlier, but with the wedding and now the race prep and everything else, it just got a bit lost in the shuffle. Last week, I helped a girl young lady--no new arrival that I came across while I was on my patrol. Her name is Fig and she's pretty young, I think, a tiefling, and a bit surprised about being here, which I think we can all relate to.

Anyway, she has some friends here, but because she's younger, I thought that I'd check in on her just to make sure she's eating and settling in okay. She might brush me off, but in case she doesn't, do any of you have any idea how to talk to a teenager?

FIG

How are you settling in?

Fig, is that you?? Are you here?

Adaine, is Fig here? That has to be her, right? Who else would immediately be looking up hot men in uniform?