vallo

UH WTF, is everyone missing or just me?

EDITED LATER: Did you end up with a weird journal next to you? Trying to get a headcount I should NOT be in charge of this

Going to hazard a guess that it's not common to wake up with a title deed to a theme park in your hand, with your name on it. And doubly so that you've never heard of it, but suddenly it's in the phone directory and you call and they say they're open like they didn't just suddenly show up.

Is this one of those April Fools things I'm going to head over there and take stock of things. Anyone want to go with? No promises it'll be fun or interesting, I don't know anything about "Critical Role Land."

XHORHAUS

Any chance anyone can spare some magic that might locate something? Something like a dagger?

Not that I'm irresponsible with my weapon care -- because I'm honestly not, those daggers are my children -- but uh. One is missing and I can't find it anywhere and since we have actual children about, I'm concerned so. Yeah. Magic? It was here last night, so it's got to be around here somewhere.

And, for the love of all the gods, please no one tell Diego.

April Fool's comes once a year. Yes?

Quick announcement!

I'm temporarily out of weapons that can remove heads in a single swing. It's been a busy week! If it wasn't all for self-defense I'd really feel like I was in the murder business. My team will be producing new gear for the foreseeable future so we'll be back to normal stock soon. But this means no custom orders at least until next weekend - sorry!

[ASHE]

Do you want to go into business together on a new idea?

To what I know is the surprise of literally everyone who's ever met me, I got a little bored at the Nook today, so I went for a walk around the block. I found this super cute little secondhand store and apparently it's the time of year when everyone is cleaning out their houses and getting rid of things they no longer want which works out great for me because I found the absolute cutest variety of armchairs that I literally could not leave without.

Moral of the story is that you should definitely come visit us at Chastity's Nook in the immediate future because there are several new little reading nooks (😏) if you want to pick out a few books and stay awhile to read them. Bring your tea and pastries and settle in! We got in some new titles, too, if you're looking for something you haven't seen on the shelves before, but really the armchairs are reason enough to come see us.

Don't worry, Caleb, I got a very good deal for buying them all!!

FJORD

I know it's kind of been a busy few weeks so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to carve out some just you and me time? I was thinking we could put together a picnic and maybe go hang out on the ship and we could even build like a makeshift fort on the deck and just camp out overnight or something?? If that sounds fun to you. 😘 Also, did you find out how to make the ship fly? Any news on the cloven eye destruction?

CALEB

I got you a present! But the present has already been placed around the Nook, so I'm just going to tell you about it here instead of wrapping it up even though now that I think about it, I think it probably would have been way more fun to make you unwrap everything. Missed opportunities!

FAILED!FILTER TO CALEB

Hey, Caleb! Did you ever find handcuffs?

For the love of every god, I sw Ver Well, that would happen, wouldn't it?

Though, I must ask: is cupcake delivery a true possibility? I could use one or six.

In news that I imagine only Blue is interested in, my previously cancelled book readings are being rescheduled for this coming week at Chastity's Nook during the evening. Violent fowl rather got in the way last time for reasons I just don't want to think about anymore for the sake of my pride. But the socks I was given as payment for this service are rather wonderful and I would hate to disappoint, so here we are, rescheduling. As the resident experts, I've requested that Caleb and Jester pick the books to pull excerpts from, so I'm sure there will be far better selections than I might have chosen.

Anyway, if you have some desire to listen to me read adult literature, next week is your chance. You should also buy books or literally anything else they have for sale while you're there. Or, I don't know, bring cupcakes.

(You're welcome for the stellar marketing. I know where you both live to deliver the bill.)

Back in my timeline, world, Mother Earth, whatever you want to call it - there were three Sanctums, bases for the Masters of the Mystic Arts. One in Hong Kong, one in London (RIP), one in New York. I was guardian of the New York Sanctum - it's essentially a magical library and also a place to store certain 'dark' artifacts (Brazier of Bom'Galiath, Cauldron of the Cosmos, Crimson Bands of Cyttorak, a demonic parasite in the fridge, etc). But it arrived here in the city which was a welcome surprise. I'll be taking up residence there as soon as possible. I thought I would also offer it as a meeting place for coven gatherings, just let me know first so I can have the floors waxed.

I suppose I could also use an assistant, though no one can take the place of Wong who is the only person that laughs at my jokes.

[Papa's Pride Crew + Jester]

I am SO sorry. I just looked up and noticed it was 2/15 and I've been-- well, I haven't left my room at the Quills for anything short of Morgan's party because I have had the greatest collection of ideas. I was talking with Bucky Barnes about a grenade launcher arm, see, and then I was thinking about all of the other things I could do. Machine gun legs? Embedded blades? Laser emitters? Rockets? Flamethrowers? So I've been in here sketching and building blueprints and I think I've come up with a few ideas.

Then I did some research online and discovered a culture called Cyberpunk and they have so much on sci-fi prosthetics that I want to see if I can make a lot of it reality. BUT that means I missed uh, any dates you guys planned. Did I miss messages? Did I accidentally stand someone up? I'm sorry! Please tell them I'm sorry!

[Friends]

Did you all have a good Valentine's? I uh, got distracted but I've come up with a lot of ideas for new services. The wonderful guys I work with (hi guys!) were going to try and score me a date but I think I ruined that for them :(

STILL, I just got a ton of discount candy and the pure amount of sugar is going to fuel my creations for weeks! So, my nearest and dearest, if you could have any one kind of cybernetic bioengineered body alteration, what would it be and why?

I was called a goat today when I gave an extension on an assignment. I don't know yet if that is a good or bad thing.

CALEB

Sydney asked if I would be willing to aid in the event at the Barns on the 14th and I didn't realize until after agreeing what that meant and that I perhaps ought to have checked in with you first. Most of the holidays in Rosohna were saturated with Luxon worship, so I generally ignored or went with the flow, as they say, for the sake of appearance and I seem to still be getting used to the plethora of them here.

[...] Not that I necessarily feel that a specific day is needed to appreciate you and show what you mean to me, as I attempt to express that every day but maybe I -- ah.

I am being ridiculous. Let me start over.

Would you have dinner with me on the 14th? I should be free come the evening, though you could of course spend time at the Barns as well, if you'd like. I don't know if you saw, but there is going to be an area to just pet cats.

I opened a cabinet today, and there's my wok, my steamer, and my rice cooker. Not just any wok, my wok, carbon steel with 15 years of seasoning on it. I'm guessing that's something that just happens here sometimes?

[Filtered to Gretchen]
Want to celebrate Lunar New Year Sichuan-style? We put up red lanterns, eat a shitton of food with whoever we decide doesn't suck (since we don't have families here and lbr, ours are kind of lousy anyway), and set off fireworks. I'll cook, you find a source for baijiu. It's on February 12 this year.
[/filter]

[Filtered to Brigitte]
Hey, I was thinking about what you said earlier, about not ever having a Valentine's date. How would you feel about being lowkey set up for one? I figure between me, Henry, Thom, and Erik, we know some quality date options.
[/filter]

Added after this conversation
[Filtered to Jester + the Papa's Pride Workshop gang]
So it turns out the boss has never had a Valentine's date. I got her permission to set her up with people. Who do we know who's potentially worthy, won't be bothered by the fact that she hasn't dated a lot before, and is in approximately the right age range?
[/filter]

Added after this conversation
[Filtered to Eloise and Daphne Bridgerton]
1. How old are you?
2. Do you have any romantic interest in women, a la Sappho?
[/filter]

EVENING OF JANUARY 19

JESTER LAVORRE & ESSEK THELYSS
"She resisted the urge to make some kind of light-hearted joke like 'you poopin?'"

ESSEK'S TOWERS | PG

( Read more... )

I had the worst nightmare.

Holy Peach Bourbon Fettucine, you guys!!! This morning, someone left me a present by the pond and it was the CUTEST thing and I can't even handle it! :))))))))) Ahiru loves it too lolololol

( Look here for a picture! )

You GUYS! Holy Sakura Mochi Kit Kats! I slept so good last night! It's been a GREAT day so far and I hope you all have a wonderful morning. Zuko out!

I can't help but be of the opinion that giant spiders are best left as served food, than encountered alive while finishing one's errands. Given talk of other large insects, I do not know why I was so surprised, but here we are.

Though, I suppose that now there are several dead ones, so -- halfway there.

Just wanted to thank everyone who came out to the Haus for New Year's Eve! ♥ It was an absolute joy to bring in the new year at Vallo with y'all! I hope those of you who had the tub juice have somewhat recovered, and there is a lot of unclaimed clothing, jewelry, and wallets at our place still! If you lost something, feel free to come by when you can to pick it up! I'll give you a slice of pie in a to-go container! :)

Speaking of pie, y'all know it's the beginning of the month, which means a new menu at the Apothecary! January can sometimes be a little sad, post-holiday blues. But I promise these pies will warm you right up! 🤗

January Menu for Rose Apothecary

Chastity's Nook will be having a buy-2-get-1-free book sale from now until Winter Solstice, to help keep you warm during the winter months.

Book delivery by cat is available upon request, as is mystery book delivery.

[EXANDRIANS]

I ah-- know it has not been easy for all of us with the departures as of late. But- we have a very large house here that is now half empty. If any of you were interested, you would be welcome to stay here.

I believe I have perfected adding onto the house, should any of our friends return, but we have five or six rooms available, and I am not just suggesting this because Kiri is requesting more sleepovers with Velora. We would understand if you did not want to leave your own house, of course.

But we have a hot tub and spa.

For future reference, giving in and buying glitter while getting art supplies for kenku-made holiday decorations is an exercise in -- well, I do not know if the word exists. But I do know that Kiri may have a trail of glitter falling from her feathers for the next week. Not that she seems to think this is a problem, however.

GILMORE

Good evening. Unrelated to our glitter issue, but I was wondering if you might have some time in the relatively near future where I might be able to pick your brain about something. I've had a particular item for a while that came over when my towers arrived here, but I would like to expand its capabilities in a fairly specific way, if at all possible. I'm hoping you may be able to look it over and tell me just how possible it might be.