vallo

Mess with the timeline, get a bunch of blasts from the past I guess. If you see these asshole pests hanging out with some corrupted, creepy witches, they're from my world. Nightmares and Revenants, and they can be really annoying to fight.

Nightmares: Stunning them and shooting them from a distance is how I do it, but father is really good at grabbing them and yeeting them into the sun. Either works! Just know they're really fast, shoot magic projectiles, and dodge really well.

Revenants: Blind them and stun them, they can teleport short distances, and seem to be pretty amped up right now. Don't let them get the drop on you and hit them with everything you've got if they're in one place. If all else fails, father would yeet them too.

I'll be out in the forest all day today with Fenrir, if you need help, send up a magic flare or shoot me a ping!

What the hell is wrong with your turkeys?

New Asgard is under attack.

The geese return and they return with a vengeance. If you are uninjured from yesterday's events and are not under siege from these geese yourself, please come assist. The helhounds and fighters in the village are holding them at bay for now, but their numbers seem to be increasing.

Shiro, I am rerouting half of Team B to assist here, but the rest are on their regular patrol shifts and picking up the slack of those in New Asgard or elsewhere.

EDIT 1: THEY ARE ARMED WITH A FLAMETHROWER AND KNIVES AND HAVE INCREASED IN NUMBERS EXPONENTIALLY. AIR SUPPORT AND WATER TYPES, REQUESTED.

EDIT 2: DAUD DO NOT RETURN TO YOUR DWELLING. IT IS NO LONGER A DWELLING, BUT AN ENEMY STRONGHOLD.

EDIT 3: THE STABLES ARE GONE. AS IS THE COMMUNITY GARDEN. TORUNN HOLDS STRONG AT THE BELL TOWER AND DAUD FIGHTS FIERCELY FOR THE VILLAGE SCHOOL.

EDIT 4: PEACE WAS NEVER AN OPTION. TALKS OF A TRUCE HAVE FAILED.

Well, this is a nice welcome back.

Sup, I'm Tyler. I was around a couple of times before. Back again in time for the apocalypse? Love it. I'm going to be eating my feelings at Glenn's bagel cart if anyone wants me to take pity on me and buy me some when I run out of cash because I'm broke af.

[ FILTERED TO FRIENDS ]
Torunn, gotta give you my two weeks. I realize I just started last week, but the apocalypse calls? Which brings me to, sorry guys, but I'm on the list. I'll stop by to see people before I head out tomorrow with the wizards.

I'm not sure what it says about me that my Vallo experience so far, aside from spending time with family, has mostly revolved around food but I guess there's worse things. Highly recommend the Jjambbong at Angry Tofu though. About as spicy as my Ma used to make it. Which is saying something.

[ FAMILY ]

Hey, Mom, I've got a joke for you, since Dad already knows this one.

Which one of the Avengers is always in a hurry?

[ooc: I remembered my favorite Steve & James texts, sue me.]

[FILTERED TO FRIENDS & FAMILY]

Alright, SO, my birthday's in two weeks. You all probably know I require more attention on my birthday than some - no gifts, though, I'm good there. In the absence of Disney (unless Vallo decides to be nice again 👀), I want to plan something fun. I'm not old enough for the wine-and-cheese night that Google suggested.

Karaoke? Escape room? But that wouldn't be fun for spy and spy-adjacent people. Rage room? Everyone here probably likes breaking shit sometimes. OR we could stick with the theme park idea and go to Blizzard World or Critical Role Land since those are more kid-friendly! (Pepper, please can the kids come?)

Opinions? Please help.

If you heard explosions from New Asgard, don't worry! Everything's fine!

Unrelated, who has experience with training powerful little girls to be responsible with their abilities? Bribing this one with waffles and chocolate milk doesn't work.

FILTERED: FRIENDS/FAM
Right so... we had a toddler. For like twenty minutes. And then the girls barreled in and I guess she got inspired and now we got three wolves tearing around the yard and Monty all surprised Pikachu face from the window. It's been a fun afternoon.

I will take any and all recommendations on a forge that creates reputable weaponry, and whatever places exist where you can act out violently but doesn't include murder or arrest from the law. I'll pass on simulations.

Thank you.

GROUP TEXT: FRANCIS/JAMES/TORUNN
» Checking in. Hawkeye, have you seen the network?

Well, judging from the network scrolling I've done, I'm not sure a week is enough time to consider myself "acclimated" to Vallo. But it probably is enough time before I introduce myself.

Hey, Outlanders - Bobbi Morse. Just signed myself up for Defense Team A with the DOA this morning. (Captain Rogers, I hear that means we're working together again. Looking forward to it.) Gotten myself about a dozen bagels from Glenn since I've been here, a couple of new-arrival free drinks from the various bars, and heard some rave reviews about an Italian restaurant in "the Void"? Haven't tracked that down yet, but I will.

Any other suggestions for Vallo musts I should add to the to-do list?

[FILTERED TO FRANCIS BARTON]

Hi. I hope this isn't too weird for you, since we haven't officially met, but I assume you've heard I'm here. Pepper and Tony have told me all about you - and Kate has, too, actually. She's chatty.

I know I'm not the same person as your mom, and I wouldn't dare try to be, but I'd like to get to know you, if you'd be interested in that.

Lucifer, my father is now missing. Please check your nightmare kingdom. If he is there, I will lay waste to any demon who goes near him.

Trapped include:

1. Thor
2. Roz
3. Stiles
4. Peter
5. Dream

War has been declared on the training grounds. It's a very snowy battle. I invite others to join my team or be buried in snow with James and Francis.

GROUP TEXT: JAMES, TORUNN, & FRANCIS

» I think I'm gonna get a cat.
» The pack isn't gonna turn it into a snack if I do, right?
» Also hi. What are you doing?
» It's Saturday and there are no mushrooms attacking. Let's go do something.

So there’s a lot of things I don’t know about, in the grand scheme of things, but I really feel like I’d have heard that there was a tenth realm on the Yggdrasil.

You know? Feels like that might have come up before. Once, twice… you know. Sometime!

Stay weird, Vallo.

I now own a team set of flying brooms that were made so that anyone could use them. Well, at least anyone with decent balance or practice. The point is, you don't need magic or superpowers. One set isn't enough for organized play, but three on three pick-up games are possible, and they're just fun to fly for flying's sale. Anyone want to learn?

[ EMMELINE ]

Hey, can I ask a secret magic favor? Not secret magic secret, magic for a surprise.

Okay, can I add on to my list to Santa that I want a gigantic doggo too??

Filter (separately): Carol Danvers, Natasha Romanoff, James Rogers

Okay, so like.. so you have a friend who went through something terrible and the holidays make them sad so you want to do something that will make things better.

And by better, I don't mean totally take the pain away because I know it's hard to do that but at least act like a distraction.

What would be the best way to do this??

I think I've got this now! I like the sound the little letters make. I can feel it in my fingertips? Is that normal? Well nevermind, I like it anyway.



Am I talking to myself? It's okay if I am. I'm used to it. Yaks aren't very talkative. Not that there's anything wrong with that! I just have never communicated like this. Not that that's saying much since I've done very little communicating in the last decade anyway.

Oh! I'm Angrboda if anybody is reading this. Hi.

Hey guys. So uh, first thing on the docket is that the Sanctuary Fundraiser Event will be next weekend! All day on the 10th we'll have a Solstice-themed fundraiser festival here, come on by! Pet the animals! Donate to a good cause! Get.. spanked?

Speaking of! We're currently looking for um, a designated spanker for the spanking booth Oh my gods why did we. It pays $500, no creepers allowed, and includes a lunch and breaks. So! That's a thing! That came up with when we were drinking and apparently, it raised a lot of money for Silniara Coven at their festival a few years ago, so now we have to do it, I guess! If you're looking to make a little money and get to spank willing people, inquire within.

( Unfiltered but cut for potential Ragnarok spoilers, and there probably will be spoilers in comments! )