vallo

help


it has been ten minutes since i last ate

DOES NO ONE CARE ABOUT ME

I thought it relevant to state that Morgan is a cat now, so if you have any problems with Tag!, bother me directly and if I like you I'll fix them.

Greetings everyone. I'm James, and I'm a local around here - born and raised in Vallo (and thanks to my longtime friend Mei for getting me situated with this network. Mei, you were right, this is something). I'm a psychiatrist and have just moved offices to the appropriately-named psychiatric floor in one of the hospitals. I have a variety of patients, and I speak a few different languages - Elvish, Dwarvish, and a bit of Druidic. I was born into the Vorerra coven but left recently and so I suppose I'm coven-less. All of that means I'm also a witch and it's possible that the name Vorerra elicits questions (if I'm mistaken, well, scroll to the end of this post) so I thought I'd open with a few FAQs and also an AMA and perhaps even a few more acronyms, who knows.

( cut for FAQ )

If there's something specific you'd like to know I'll answer if I can. I'd also like to get to know all of you, if you're open to that. My office is right near Baby Got Burritos, which means I often eat the queso burrito for lunch and then need a nap in the afternoon.

Anyway, if you've scrolled right to here - hello. So you all are turning into cats, then? Seems like a normal day here. I've got a cat of my own too. His name is Cheeto and he's quite the handsome fellow, isn't he?

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Well, the weather's a bit zesty today, is it not? It's a good thing I look best slightly disheveled, but my saint's talisman got waterlogged so no healing for me or others today until it's less damp.

Anyone else caught out in this nonsense?

I want to apologize to the new guy Catra and I found in the forest today. He was already scared, and the glowing eight-foot-tall lady and sexy catgirl probably didn't help the situation. We got him back to the DOA, but it was a feat.

So, new guy, I think you were too busy screaming and swearing to tell us your name - but I'm really sorry for scaring you even more. I hope you're okay. And I promise to be normal-sized next time I see you.

( Filtered to Tater )

So out of morbid curiosity - let's play "soul currency"!

One of the more odd things about arriving in Vallo was getting used to paper money. Where I'm from, what with the end of the world and all, we pay for things in souls! Souls are taken off the dead bodies of the hollow; it doesn't hurt them in the least because once you're gone, that's it in our world. But souls pay for most things, like getting your weapons fixed and potions and curse removal and all those important every-day life things. For example:

One Throwing Knife = 50 souls
A Basic Rapier = 600 souls
Chain Helm = 500 souls

And so on!

Given that I can pick up a decent throwing knife here for $2.50, and a fair beginner's chain helm at the Forge for about $30, I can conclude that: one soul in my world is worth around... five cents.





Well. That's horrifying! Oh my. I'm going to ask someone in Squad A for a head pat.

I suppose it is not uncommon to receive something from home after you have been here for some time? Unable to find sleep with the cacophony of some days past, I stumbled over the building my partner and I built to house our hardware business in Deadwood.

What is needed to start a business in these days?

Okay, hypothetical...

You have a bazooka and some cutie messaged you and wants to go on a date.

What would be something real good to blow up around here?

WHO: Adora & Solaire
WHAT: Getting her frustrations out
WHERE: Training Grounds
WHEN: Waaaaay backdated to April 30th
WARNINGS: Talk of unpleasant things/trauma
STATUS: Complete

( I’m positive she would never think that. Because the way you look at her? A daft git like me could tell how much you cared from a glance. )

Hello, everyone! This is just a reminder that with all this stress, mystery, unexpected-hostile-takeovers-from-rude-people and warmer weather, make sure you hydrate!

[ Filtered to Friends (feel free to assume) ]

If it's not one thing, it's another, isn't it? I've been researching what this Maleficent is like in between my defense team training and patrols and she's quite-- well, if she asked me to dance, I would say no, feigning tendonitis, because I do not like her personality one bit. Is everyone alright? Can I do anything to help other than vibrate with anxiety? I'm beginning to annoy my cat.

In the animated film, it took a prince of pure heart to stab her, but one would think she's kind of improved her skill since then, since it was a somewhat embarrassing show of her abilities. I'm not saying that I hope she's gotten more difficult to fell, but I am saying that I've died in loads of awkward ways, and even I'd be a bit put out if some random with a clever hat managed to stab me in the heart first try (also, I think the thorns are metaphors for the emotional walls she built to keep others out, but I don't think that's really helpful in our present situation).

No unusual powers, but finally a bit of luck. Been feeling a bit off without my weapon and this morning I woke up to Kingfisher sitting on the coffee table like it was just waiting for me. Should make any potential monster hunting go a little more smoothly. Going to hope my scroll comes through next. Or a less destroyed version of my uniform. Both would be fine.

FILTERED TO SOLAIRE:

Would you be up for punching things sparring with me today? Like, now?

FILTERED TO RICHIE TOZIER:

Hey. Can you come around and check on Catra in a little while? Don't make it a big deal or tell her I asked you, but we got into a - thing, I guess, and she wanted space from me, so. Just make sure she's okay, please?

I just wanted to drop a quick missive thanking everyone who participated or watched Fight Club this past weekend! What a rush!!

• Adora, you were quick and deadly; I look forward to our future sparring missions together and potentially???? our wearing matching ponytails (I can but hope).
• Simon, it is an honor to fight someone as powerful as you, and I would desperately like to know why you turned into a dragon and not a smaller, fluffier Simon when you puppeted. Did you know my sister is half-dragon? Oh, the wilds of the world!
• Natasha, you are scary and you remind me very much of a friend of mine from back home who is likewise scary, the kind of friend that I think we're friends but I'm not exactly sure because of the fear, but she shows up and thumps things when I need her to and I am very glad she is on my side!
• Wynonna, were I not taken and you not taken, I would ask to share a milkshake together with one straw so that we could play footsie under the table, but alas, we are ships passing in the night (and also you hit like a stampeding horse).
• Castiel, you are a mystical being (I think??) and so I feel a little bad that I pummeled you, but it was a worthy fight and I hope you are happy and not vengeful.
• Finally, Arthur, I have an OCEAN of respect for you, I'm not FISHING for compliments, and also, I owe you another beer if you'll agree to SCHOOL me in the way you move so quickly.

This is Solaire, thanking you for the jolly cooperation, and a toast to the Frye twins who organized this joyous event!!

Unrelated - I do not fancy my arse in bell bottoms.

Who: Solaire and Alexei
What: Alexei tries to teach Solaire how to skate. There's kissing.
Where: The ice rink
When: Feb 17 [backdated]
Rating/Warnings: References to homophobia

( Going in, Alexei hadn’t been sure if he was going on a date.  )

Hypothetically, let's talk cursed objects that infiltrate your dreams and make you feel sad!!

Since everyone's been focusing on the upcoming holiday, I thought I'd regale you with a tale of love from my home! I'm no bard, alas, and I'm no good with any songs that don't qualify as "drinking songs", but I can tell a good story!

( A Tale of Love and Woe from Lordran )

I hope I didn't depress anyone. That story always made me cry when Lautrec told it; spiky bastard.

I was going to write this as advice for those trapped with me here in Needs Work Frankly Vallo, but now that communications has been established, everyone can see it! Gosh, it's a little unnerving.

So Your Beloved Home Has Gone Dark and Ashy and Awful and Everything Wants to Kill You, Including Your Friends: A Primer

• First, don't panic! Panicking does no one any good and only attracts monsters and bandits.
  
• Secondly, assess your situation: are you in a safe area? If not, find one. Safe areas typically include a tidy little bonfire, friendly inhabitants, and a place to sharpen your blade. Unsafe areas include lava, trap-stuffed castles, poison swamps, dragon hoards, undead-filled towns, priests, and people who try to stab you.
  
• How do you feel? Do you feel healthy, hale, and energetic? Or do you feel sluggish, foggy-brained, possibly cannibalistic? You might need to consider that you are changing to match your surroundings.
  
• Do you have any healing items on you? If so, these are worth their weight in gold, but it's the apocalypse, so gold does fuck all. Nevertheless, healing items are very valuable! If you don't have any, try to find some, or barter for some, or get them off a corpse.
  
• Determine what sentimental items you wish to carry to remind you of how things used to be, but ensure that they are lightweight. I have a special miracle caster given to me by a loved one before she passed that I always carry, along with a few rings. All these items are useful in addition to make me feel both happy and sad when I look at them too long.
  
• Local animals may seem friendly, but approach them cautiously. Sometimes, they're cute because they want to eat you.
  
• Feeling sad? Nostalgic for what you've lost? It's fine to have emotions about the past, but don't let it drag you down too deeply. Talk to your friends and colleagues about your feelings. They're your loved ones for a reason; I promise you don't annoy them by existing.
  
• Feeling angry? That's perfectly understandable too! Try to use that aggression against monsters, not your friends and allies.
  
• Feeling like a good roll in the hay? Also understandable! Everyone knows that funerals are the best places to pick up a date for the evening. Be respectful and courteous and if you're like me, take your shirt off a lot and things tend to work out for you, unless you're in a place where taking off your shirt isn't respectful and courteous, in which case don't do it you slug.
  
• It's okay to take breaks! No one can be "on" all the time, and working yourself to exhaustion will only make it more depressing when you mess up and let your best friend get stepped on by a dragon. Hypothetically. (We worked it out.)
  
• Do you want to blame someone? I understand the impulse, but it's not healthy or relevant while you're in danger. It's more important to make sure that you're safe and your friends are safe before you start blaming people, even bad people, for your current predicament. If you're religious, feel free to blame the gods. Chances are, they're totally responsible anyhow, and they don't tend to care when they're blamed because deep down, they know they're jerks. (Your experiences with gods may differ from mine.)
  
• Finally, enjoy the little things. This apocalypse is your apocalypse, too! Tomorrow, you may get smashed in the head by a falling building and squished to unrecognizable paste. So give those compliments, tell your loved ones how special they are to you! They'll think of you more fondly if they should find your squishy corpse later.

I hope this was helpful! Please ask me any questions you might have, and I'll try to answer. Obviously most of this was from my own experience watching Lothric go to absolute shit, so not all experiences are universal experiences!