vallo

HEY you people, Adam had me do a thing for him and it seemed pretty cool and I want to make some extra money for Iroh's tea thing so if you want some badass metal masks for Halloween or this masquerade festival thing, hire me.

You have to tell me what you want it to look like though, you can't draw it out. And you have to suck it up if it's not exactly how you pictured, I'm not a mindreader. But they'll be comfortable and fit you perfectly cause I can tell the exact dimensions of your head so there's that. Sokka took THIS PICTURE so you can see how cool they are for yourself. If that works. It better work!

I can use any kind of metal or earth to do it, so wood and bark and sticks and stuff could look really cool too. The more stuff involved the higher the cost and the more annoying you are about it the more I charge per hour.

All right. Sure. This again. What the fuck even was And I have none of my things. Got it

Since the annoying asshole that controls this bullshit universe seems to think I need multiple world-hopping adventures, I guess I'm just going to introduce myself and get this part over with. I'm Marina. Any chance Julia Wicker or the Iron Platypus are here or is it just my unlucky day?

After much deliberation, I've decided that I am closing my bookshop to the general public. The only reason why I kept my business was as a pretense to live among humans, and as a grand excuse to keep my bosses from complaining about my ever growing book collection. Having pesky customers coming by is something I will not miss.

Instead, the establishment will be rebranding (as they say) to a reading library. You may come browse, sit, read, and drink some delicious, hot tea. But only upon prior request or invitation. And books will most definitely not be checked out and removed from the premises.

Here's a fun question - do you have any suggestions as to what I could dress up as for All Hallow's Eve?

Tell me one thing I need to know about this place.

Oh what a feast for the eyes! This world is just FILLED with glorious things and such kind and caring people. Thank you, to those that escorted me from that lovely forest and thank you to those that taught me how to use this and were EVER so patient with my many many questions. Is it true it can connect to everyone, as instantly as talking to one's face? There is no need for glorious paper and spilled ink?

I am terribly rude and Marilla would have my head for it, I am so, so, sincerely sorry, please accept my humble apologies from the bottom of my heart for not making proper introductions right off the bat. I'm Anne, I was supposed to be starting at Queen's University soon but surely it's more important to explore than it is to worry about my education at a time like this. Adventure IS education and a glorious, much-needed distraction! I can't very well get in trouble when there is no way home, now can I?

Just how "dangerous" is this forest? I have quite the mind for direction and exploration and would like to go for a walk, but have no wish for people to need to rescue me if there are monsters and creatures lurking. What did you all do first when you arrived?

Enthusiastically,
Anne Shirley-Cuthbert

Since it's that time of year and apple cider donuts are calling to me, is there anyone that would like to go to an orchard with me sometime this week and maybe do some apple picking, too?

Yeah yeah, I ain't feedin' daisies yet, Vallo. That Overlook Hotel was a cheat and a LIAR and I hope never to see its shadow darken my doorway anytime soon. But I'm showered, and I'm sober, and I'm working on my dynamite stock, so I'm just fit AS A FUCKIN' FIDDLE. So yeah, I'm fine. FINE. I'M GREAT.

and I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT

BROS. Have you thought to yourself, those hockey kids seem hella awesome! I bet they throw great parties!

Well good news, we are and we do.

SPECIFICALLY we throw AMAZING parties and since life has been fucking nuts, we're throwing one on Friday! A ~*~*~*~*~*~*~Spookegster~*~*~*~*~~*~*

(imagine that as fancy html because even though I was an art student I legit noped out of graphic design, your girl is 100000% sucky at it)

Spookegster will feature the following:

1. Epic beer pong tournaments, both single and doubles editions (but prepare to Throw Down, I am an actual beer pong god). We'll have pre-game warmups/tutorials don't worry.

2. Hallo'wheel O'Shots

3. Shitty Knight's infamous tomb/tub juice

4. WAY too many Office/Parks and Rec/Brooklyn 99 Halloween episode references

5. BITTY'S HALLOWEEN THEMED SNACKS caps lock v. much needed.

6. Other great things TBD but probably include witty costumes, chill times, friends, complicated handshakes, learning way too much about hockey, new inside jokes, would you rather questions, and more.

Q&A (thank you, Blue!)

--Are costumes required?

Costumes are not required but would be much appreciated. But it's Halloween so you do you.

--What's in tub juice?

Hard work, feminism, sex appeal, flow, and a bunch of other ingredients that Shitty keeps close to the chest.

tl;dr Friday at the Haus we're partying, you should too. Lardo, out. (Murderbro, it's just not as cool!!!!)

So. Um.

Not evil hotel related, but does anyone know where I can blood? Like fresh blood?

[ERIK]

Do you think I might be able to get a tour of the island sometime this weekend?

[CLARK]

How are you settling in?

The hotel keeps trying to scare me, but it also keeps failing.

And I don't have the time. Hotel Del Luna is busier and safer than whatever that is.

You can keep trying, Hotel Overlook. But I don't care.

I just realized that aside from Sabrina, I have no idea who the rest of the cast really is. Who else is in this thing? I did not realize this part was more than one scene. Who is the Baker's Wife? Please be hot, and legal. My fellow prince, seward dude?

Oh, and yeah, I got cast in the musical.

This has probably been debated thoroughly knowing how things work here, but -

Your best tips for getting bloodstains out of clothing, GO.

Well, just as I always knew he would, B.O.B. finally caught up to me. Y'all get eyes on an Omnic, 'bout 7 foot 2 with a bowler hat, that's B.O.B.. He's been my trusted partner and best fix-it man, always good to clean a fine mess up.

( Picture behind cut. )

B.O.B. don't talk much but he don't have to. If I catch any of you Luddites giving him crap 'cause he's an Omnic, my Stetson's gonna have a few things to say about it.

[ Filtered to Jesse ]

Bet it's weird to be in knee deep in Halloween and not having your jefe around. Wanna come with me to the Overlook? I'm gonna blow it sky-high. Figure it'll be good PR for my dynamite business.

I never gave much thought to the afterlife and even still, this is not what I expected Hell to be like. Who could've imagined Hell would have a welcoming committee? Although, I'm not surprised by the lack of hellfire or that the torture is a lot more lowkey than myth would have one believe. Still, it's rather...picturesque. A clever part of the torture, I suppose.

tw: discussion of pregnancy in comments

Things I didn't miss:

Nearly burning down the house trying to make a Thanksgiving dinner.

Things I am missing:

Black Friday. I need new boots and do not want to pay full retail thank you very much.

((pls to ignore the tag dump on this))