vallo

So sorry to do this, but I've fallen down a research rabbit hole and wouldn't mind your assistance in digging my way out of it. ( I've cut the chunk of the text so as not to decimate your journal feed; you're welcome in advance. )

So now with all of that explained and summarized: please, for my purposes, (1) state where you are from and the predominant religion that you learned or belong to, (2) and give a small summary of what death entails, (3) what afterlife, if any, exists, and (4) whether or not reincarnation is a possibility.

Obviously if this topic upsets you, ah--- don't... do any of that. Ignore me. That's fine.

Thank you in advance.

Okay, so for all who signed up for speed dating - yay! We'll see you on Friday at Dorian's Gray Room, around 7:30. Katherine and me will check you in and then at 8:00, the rounds start! There will be plenty of cool drinks available and 20s fashions to rock thanks to (trumpet fanfare) MAGIC. Any questions? Let moi know!

Also I guess this place must think I miss my mom or something because one of her wigs showed up in bed with me and Cullen this morning and I think I gave him a heart attack because my scream was deafening but - at first it looked like a dead possum (if a dead possum had green corkscrew curls - not sure which one this is, Maureen maybe??), so you can't blame me. Like. So weird.

Either way, I now can't take it off so that's fun.

As always, there's a lot going on (and some headaches) but FYI: After months and months, I finally got everything together for a literal, actual, functional bed and breakfast - instead of a dark and dreary enchanted hoarder castle in the forest, my father's former place is now The Princess & The Pea and will be officially open for business on Monday. A lot of it is warded off but there are still places to look around (if you're into fairytale stuff), a rose garden, and six rooms available for the b&b experience; all those rooms have been redone. We also got bathrooms hooked up for each so no chamber pots, don't worry. Regina makes the food and it's fantastic. I hired some locals but if anyone else is looking to work in hospitality, let me know.

Thanks to Kady and Jake for helping set the place up, helping to fix any snafus, and also helping to taste test all the food. And thanks to my kid for giving me an answer when I asked 'so what would you name a b&b if you could pick anything?'

Friends! Vallo denizens! Booty callers and callees! The time has come, officially, for Booty Camp: The Sequel - or as I like to call it, A Bee's Knees Bull Session.

I call it that because the theme is roaring 20s - so roll on up in your hot boiler, grab your giggle water, and get ready for a little gum-bumping hotsy-totsy! Our next speed dating event will be held at Dorian's Gray Room on July 16th, starting at 8:00 PM! Plenty of drink specials available, and upon arriving you'll be directed into the speakeasy room where, if you didn't wear a rip-roaring 20s outfit, don't worry! ~Magic~ will ensure that your threads change for you! It'll go back to normal when you leave, btw, or when you meet someone and head home to rip your clothes off each other.

There's a $10 registration fee like last time, and proceeds will go to benefit the Chakrabarti Clinic again! Those poor employees sure do deserve a vacation, right? It's been a time.

Any questions? Just let moi know. Can't wait to see you there~

( OOC )

Hey all you hip cats! Boy, everything's been such a summery fun time I almost forgot to pop in and tell you what I've been up to recently. I feel as if I'm right in the middle of some fantastic live theater - it's almost like a production of West Side Story unfolding before my very eyes! Or maybe Romeo and Juliet, just without the tragic ending. Forbidden love between rival witches and warlocks, clandestine meetings behind buildings, and a trip to the ER after falling down and hitting one's head during store tête-à-têtes. Maybe keep the hormones at home next time, rather than bringing them out in public where there's things like lobster tanks? I'm full of juicy tidbits and good advice!

In honor of our rebellious couple du jour, here's a cocktail recipe for a little drinkie-poo I like to call O FAIR VERONA:

1 1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. Grand Marnier
1/4 oz. cherry or raspberry liquor
2 oz. chilled peach juice
Maraschino cherries for garnish
A beautiful orange spiral also for garnish

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice and add all your delicious ingredients. Shake vigorously for 10 seconds and pour into a chilled fluted glass or a very large martini glass.

And there you have it! I hope all you alligators have a fantastic beginning-of-summer celebration and I'm always here to pour you a cup of tea if you ever want to talk. I'm just so caring like that!

WHO: Alexis & Katherine
WHAT: Interviewing the lovely vampiress for a management position! Or it's not really an interview, it's just them planning the next speed dating event
WHERE: Rose Apothecary
WHEN: Idk today?
WARNINGS: FABULOUSNESS
STATUS: Complete

( PR seems like overtime work in itself here anyway. )

Hey all you hip cats! I just have to tell you what I've been up to recently. Though I know what all of you have been up to recently - so much murder and mayhem! Boy, you're all set to just play judge, jury, AND executioner aren't you? Kinky roleplay, I looooooove it!

Speaking of kinky roleplay, I think that's what our Star Spangled representative and his dangerous red-hot tamale have been involved with - unless she's just constantly borrowing sugar each time I see her leave his apartment! And go back in and then leave! And go back in and leave again!

It takes awhile each time (I've clocked it), so I'm sure there's still some sugar-borrowing, if ya know what I mean. Wink.

To which I say, good for them! And also - AHOOOOOGA! In honor of this NC-17-rated image worthy of a smut novella (I think they call the smut novellas 'fanfiction'??), I'm including a cocktail recipe entitled "International Relations."

1 1/2 ounces dry vermouth
3/4 ounce sweet vermouth
1/8 ounce maraschino liqueur
2 dashes orange bitters
Lemon peel as garnish

Combine in an Old Fashioned glass and enjoy!

Oh, and I almost forgot! I've set up my Tag profile here, and I just have to tell you - what a GREAT invention! You all should just go on and slide into my PMS! List of people I would ride like a one-humped camel:

1. Sorcerer Polygamist
2. The gigantic hairless man who recently just did a murder
3. Anyone from Hell
4. Cute blondes - or redheads. Or brunettes? Or you know what, any hair color is fine!

Well, that's all for now - I'll see you alligators later!

Don't know if I'll ever quite get over seeing a list of names like that.

filtered to lizzie.
What can I do?

Hey all you hip cats! I just have to tell you what I've been up to lately. First of all, isn't it amazing that I now posses a device, in the handy-dandy pocket of my dress, that is capable of accessing the entirety of information? It's true! I can even use it to look at photos of cats and get into arguments with strangers!

Thanks in part to that information at my fingertips, I've been able to learn so much about many of you. So much info, so much concern - are some of you okay? I understand that matters of the heart can be really hard unlike Ralph's flaccid d-- and also when you give sword lessons it's really easy to confuse the two types of swords so you just keep gallivanting around and putting the wrong one into anything that has a vague pulse to hide your own insecurities and doubts and true feelings, but! You can work it out. I promise!

So consider that, and consider this pick-me-up called a Dark and Horny:

2 oz bourbon
1/2 oz lemon syrup
Ginger beer
2 slices of lemon - for garnish
Mix, enjoy, and get yourself tested for sexually transmitted diseases. These days, they're just abbreviated to STDs! Testing is free at the clinic! These 'STDs' are as old as the gods, it's completely normal to have one after so much sharing and caring.

You all have a fantastic day - and see you later, alligators!

Right. Well. This is different. Not what I was expecting, I have got to say.

When does the torture start? Because honestly, if you think me being here on my own, without the others, is torture, you are sadly mistaken. I have been alone for most of my life and I’m used to it, so you’re going to have to try a bit harder than this new fake neighbourhood if you want to torture me.

I would like to know what happened to Eleanor, Jason and Tehani though, if anyone is able to tell me. Where did the judge send them?

Hello everyone! Hank McCoy here, and I come with updates about Wormhole Theory and the efforts of myself and Lena Luthor to create passage through time and space, using the concepts of the general Theory of Relativity. Did you know that wormholes contain two mouths, with a throat connecting those two mouths which are likely spheroidal in nature? It's true! We've made excellent progress hypothesizing about what exotic matter a wormhole would also contain and calculating the volume, as the presence of exotic matter seems to be the key to sending travelers through wormholes and...

Well, all the lights went out and there was a brief snafu with an electrical fire but not to be concerned - we have plenty of baking soda at our disposal!

We are also exhausted and haven't slept in forty-eight hours. Coffee has become water to our fatigued livers and cytochrome P450 oxidase enzyme systems. So I suppose we really don't have any updates at all, but - we will persist! For science.

[ written into her journal about an hour after arrival ]

Hello?

Is anyone seeing this?

Hey if you are, who all woke up somewhere entirely else today? Can we get a bit of a role call or something going? I'm here with Baz, Genya, and Alex.


private to josie and lizzie:
Check in please? You both okay?

WHO: Katherine & Hank
WHAT: Taking a break from work to have a srs conversation about a memory dump and immortality
WHERE: S.T.A.R. Labs
WHEN: Idk last week sometime
WARNINGS: Not really, just lots of canoodling (with fangs involved)
STATUS: Complete

( Have I ever told you what a DILF you are now, by the way? )

FILTERED TO LENA LUTHOR & KATHERINE PIERCE (SEPARATELY):

I'm going to talk to Kara tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

FILTERED TO KARA DANVERS:

Hey you. Sorry I've been hiding out the past few days. Big surprise - I found Al's.

FILTERED TO CAROLINE FORBES:

Hey. I spoke with Katherine Pierce, and she mentioned you're familiar with a hybrid named Klaus. Mind if I pick your brain about him?

WHO: Alex & Katherine
WHAT: Post-sparring revelations 👀
WHERE: The Training Grounds
WHEN: Today, mid-morning bordering on lunchtime?
WARNINGS: Talk of blood, murder, torture, abuse - typical vampy stuff
STATUS: Complete

( That was - well, talk about a twist. )

Well this is some Mystic Falls decade dance realness.

FYI phone and computer systems at the DOA offices are - old. We might be slow moving on things this morning but let us know if anyone needs anything during this latest weirdness.

This network is for soliciting opinions (unwanted or wanted), advice, or arranging for social interactions, isn't it? So who is A. not currently a puppet, doll, Pop Funko, or plush creature and also B. has an interest in going to the burger cook-off in the park today? With me. Because I thought I might actually not work 16 hours on a Saturday, for some reason.

And if anyone's curious about how the burger options have ranked this past week, I made copies of Kate's notes. They're very detailed and make for good reading.

( private message - rasalas )

WHO: Nealfire & Katherine
WHAT: Katherine promised food and drinks after Neal got settled, she delivers
WHERE: A schmancy brunch place
WHEN: Backdated to last Sunday
WARNINGS: Not really
STATUS: Complete

( What’s the plan for you, sweet pea? )

I ended up here a little too late to help out during the infamous murder turkey debacle, but I'm going to hazard a guess that this vulture situation was about a thousand times worse. Unless the turkeys were breathing fire.

It's really good to see everyone come together during that kind of chaos. Way to go, Vallo.

FILTERED TO FRIENDS*

Check in. How's everyone recovering from the insanity?

* OOC: Basically, if you've spoken with her and gotten along, this is you. Feel free to drop me a line if you're not sure!

Honestly not the first time I've hopped worlds or otherwise fell through a portal, but it's definitely the first time I've been dead and then am suddenly not dead (checked my pulse and everything, got a heart rate, etc). Did I somehow redeem a Get Out of the Afterlife for free card or something? Gotta admit I was kind of getting used to not having to pay taxes or wonder where the hell my lost dryer socks went.

Hey, I'm Neal. New here. Thanks for the rundown, Dead-on-Arrival people. The post below mine is about a dating app so I'm glad that's a main thing after being kidnapped. I guess some things never change.