vallo

Pizza is great. Can't believe I've been here three and a half months and I've only just discovered this genius food. Do I need better friends?

I've improvised about half my mage kits, worked out how to take pictures on my phone and I even have a job now. Wonder if the girls would even recognise me if they ever decide to show up. Surprisingly I think the shakkan likes it here, so maybe I should get my hand in again in my spare time. Is there a market here for miniature trees, do you think?

[ Filtered to Lan Xichen ]
Because I doubt you will hear me over your cacophony I will help you with the organizational aspects of your latest project.

I don't want to see anything.

[ Filtered to Untamed Crew, not Lan Xichen ]
This can't be real music. It must be a trick. Who tricked him. "Punk" is a stupid word.

Good morning, fellow Outlanders!

You are all invited to participate in this year's Outlanders and Animals calendar! Be your best sexy sexy self in a photoshoot with all the cutest and coolest animals at the Vallo Wildlife Rehabilitation Sanctuary and the Vallo City Animal Shelter, and help us to repeat the incredible success of last year's effort.

[Wei Wuxian's favorite photo from last year's calendar, which involves much male nudity and bunnies]

We are also seeking volunteer photographers, makeup artists, stylists, set dressers, and others who are skilled artisans/artists comfortable with and respectful toward a variety of people and animals in varying states of undress.

Please express your interest as a volunteer model or artist in the comments here, and I will follow up with you accordingly.

My thanks and respect,
Lan Xichen
Acting Director of The Art of Expression

Hi! So the baby bison aren't so BABY anymore and they need to practice flying with passengers more. The problem is they're VERY easily distracted so their flights tend to be uhhhhh erratic?? I'm doing my best to get them all some air time each week when I'm not at the Sanctuary, but I could use a little help. Anybody with flying experience would be great! The ability to float or control the elements would probably work well too. Or just even anybody who won't DIE if they fall from the sky?? Not that you will for sure fall from the sky! Boshay hasn't dropped me at ALL yet. He does really like to dive though haha ANYWAY.

Thank you?!

There are decorated egg shells, chocolate eggs, and plastic eggs that possibly have something inside of them in a pile near The Wall of Discipline where Feilong likes to sleep.

If anyone is missing their Easter Eggs, I apologize on behalf of her. She is being very protective. I hope an Easter Egg Hunt was not ruined.

Rabbits don't lay eggs, and they aren't large enough to sit upon.

Explain your holiday.

Hey guys, PSA.

1. If you put a cucumber next to a cat when they aren't looking it's considered absolute betrayal and therapy may be required.

2. I can't believe I have to clarify this but I am in no way related to anyone in this cat-people tavern in the forest. I don't know why I've gained VIP status there. I also don't know why sometimes they also think I work there. I don't. I really don't. I've explained this so many times but no one listens and I keep going there anyway because the food's good, 10/10.

3. 90% of my posts are numbered like this so I figured I'd keep up the tradition.

Hey all! Kind of need help with a couple of magic things? Figured I'd ask here first before meeting up with a witch in the woods...

A dragon from our world came through a few days ago as small as a large dog. Normally, she's longer than a few buildings put together so we're not sure why she's so small right now. We think it might have something to do with the connection she has with our homeland. She gets her abilities and strength from that land and its waters, so we're hoping to have someone more magical than us take a look at her to make sure she's okay or if we need to do something about providing her with another magical source.

My sister and I've done a little researching and we noticed there's quite a few dragons around as well as sanctuaries and preserves. We'd also like to introduce the Great Protector to other dragons and find out if she wants to live somewhere else more suitable than a crimin- training compound.

I also had a magic item come through from home and...are there magical diagnosticians out there? I, um, don't know much about it and want to rule out some things. If anyone can help us with any of these things, I'd appreciate it! And your drinks will be on me this weekend at Dorian's!

While I am glad I experienced the Disney park, I can't say I understand the appeal of rides that make your stomach turn, or so much deep fried food. Never again, Keith.

But the parade and fireworks were enjoyable. If anyone has any suggestions that don't involve the rides, I would like to hear them.

I don't really know how to preface this without it sounding like bragging. So I guess that's okay. But I have a dragon of my very own. Or really he's his own but we have a mutual understanding and he seems to really only like me, so I'll take it. I've been calling him Druk, which means Lightning Dragon. He still has some growing to do before he can carry more than just me, but if anyone wants to meet him then feel free to come by the Preserve. He's not overly fond of the more aggressive dragons so I'll need to give him something more proper soon, but it's a decent space for now.

Stone House

Aang, do you remember that golden egg gem we found at the Sun Warrior temple? I think that was him. When I met him, I felt that same... sensation that I had when I picked up what we thought was a glowing gem. He's from home!

[FILTERED TO FRIENDS]

Despite having already avenged myself in the chocobo races today, Adam and I had a bet that whoever won at Defense yesterday would owe the other pizza. And now that I have $200 to burn, I figured I might as well make it a pizza party on Darla.

I'm thinking tomorrow night. Is that okay for everyone?

Okay, so, Chocobos? They do not behave like horses. I don't know why I just assumed it'd be the same thing. But it was fucking not the same thing.

The race was really fun, though. Haven't had that much fun in a long time.

[ FILTERED TO BRIGITTE LINDHOLM ]
Hi. I was wondering if I could rent some equipment at your forge? Maybe get a little guidance as well?

I need to make a ring.

[ FILTERED TO FRIENDS OF KEITH & SHIRO ]
Keep the 18th free please. We'll be having our reception that day at the Sanctuary. You don't need to bring anything, just show up thank you.

[ Filtered to Untamed Crew + Friends ]

Someone gave Lan Xichen the equivalent of chewable children's aspirin and now he's being weird - I think it's an edict of the Lan clan to have not a shred of tolerance for anything. I'd appreciate it if one of you could come collect him from the clinic before he tells me about the rabbits again.

Good news, everyone! I have both learned how and how not to attack the 'Creepy Fuckers' if you accidentally run into one and have literally no idea what you're doing. Also, the name is very spot on. They are, in fact, very creepy.

Step One. Try to take a swing at the head with an axe.
Step Two. Almost hit, but end up lodging half of the axe in a tree, instead.
Step Three. Scream for help because you are seriously out of your depth here.
Step Four. Panic and find out you can actually cast Levitate in Vallo.
Step Five. Accidentally levitate said 'Creepy Fucker' into the mishandled axe, but pretend it was totally on purpose.

Vallo initiation complete, I think?

ADORA, CATRA, SCORPIA
Before you get mad, Adora, I was minding my own business when it happened, I swear. I didn't go looking for them! I'm totally fine and probably need lessons in how to wield this axe because it turns out that it's very different than swinging my staff.

Completely unrelated to anything mentioned above, are you available for some light healing? Asking for a friend.

What's one thing from Vallo unavailable in your home world that you can't imagine giving up now?

I probably should write something selfless like "enhanced medical procedures that can save lives", or even sensible like "indoor plumbing", but instead I'm going to honor the faithful beverage that has kept me company while working a late shift: Diet Mountain Dew. You're awful, and I still feel shame when I think about our nights together, and it's a wonder I still have teeth.

[ Filtered to the Jin Master ]
Greetings, and welcome to Vallo. I've given you time to get settled, but I wanted to reach out personally and introduce myself. My name is Wen Qing. It likely doesn't mean much to you outside of my connection to Wen Ning, who is my brother. I work as a healer here and have found much joy in this place. While we don't know one another, I wanted you to know that I am happy to make your acquaintance and if you ever need medical care, which is likely given the company you keep, please come see me and I will be happy to assist you.

[ Filtered to A-Yuan ]
I have a favor for you, if you'll be so kind as to grant it.

Does anyone here have experience with helping creatures to fly? Dragons, specifically, is my interest, but that is probably a rare skill set.

I have witnessed several crash landings today, including into a tree and a river.

I need tips on how to survive acc acclimate?? assimilate into WORDS do well in school.

I am looking for help with:
- Organizing binders
- How to handle bullies (I don't think I'm allowed to make them pee themselves but I am checking just in case)
- Slang
- Is cafeteria food safe?
- Are there a lot of old vampires that pretend to be teenagers to go to school?
- Gym sports and what to expect
- Best way to study

If anyone can think if anything else please let me know. I watched Mean Girls and I don't know if what happens there is true. Twilight didn't make sense either.

Thank you for the message device. I have watched your music story and listened to your words. I also thank you for your strange money and patience.

NOW I HAVE TOLERATED ENOUGH. PLEASE END THIS CRUEL JOKE AND LET ME RETURN OR MY UNCLE WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS.






[auto-translated from Mandarin]

I've been here for over a year now but today I've learned two things:

1) You can get sushi at a grocery store

and

2) You definitely shouldn't eat it

[filtered to friends minus adora]

Adora's birthday is on the 19th but I'm putting together a ~celebration~ on the 22nd with laser tag, bumper cars and arcade games. No, she doesn't know about it and no one tell her. I've been letting her pout about a lack of birthday party because I'm a troll. If she tries to make plans with anyone that day, tell her you're busy.

Corny party hats and streamers will be provided since she likes that cheesy stuff. And there will also be a pinata because who doesn't like to hit things??? I'm going to have to hunt down a fortified one that holds up well since everyone is either freakishly strong or beefy.