vallo

Hi out there in magic land. My name is Peter, and half of me is excited that other dimensions exists, and the other half is terrified I'm going to get turned into a frog. Is that a harmful stereotype? If it is, I'm sorry and I will stop using it.

Um, does anyone have some pants I could ... have?

I want to thank the nephew for helping me put this together. Couldn't do it without you.



If anyone wants to see the behind the scenes, here ya go. It took many many tries because this princess wanted to be the star of the fake tree she couldn't perch on because it was too slippery for her.

ooc: credit to malenysflock_official on IG

[...]


hello?

Seasons greetings motherfuckers. Torunn's mead post reminded me that I wrote this last year:

As we near the holiday season, I'll remind you:

• Do not drink too much.
  • Because I know you will, as (most) of you are human and stupid, and drinking too much is how you demonstrate cheer without having to rely on creativity, when you drink too much and you are worried about getting home...
• Contact me to get you there safely.
• I am responsible, discreet, and used to having humans leak mysterious fluids of all kinds on me.
• I will ensure that you reach home without incident and will annoy you until you drink at least three glasses of water.
• Unless:
  • You want to talk about your feelings, my feelings, or some other person's feelings. I don't care.
  • You hit on me, flirt with me, or touch me inappropriately. I find human sexual interaction disgusting AF.
  • You insult me or behave rudely. I don't fucking put up with that. This is a free service. Behave like something better than your species.
  • Only the hockey humans may call me Murderbro. This is law.
• Thank you and stay safe.
  • Unless I don't like you, in which case, die in a snowbank.

It all still applies. Don't fuck yourself up this holiday season or I'll do it for you. And a happy New Year.

Yule/New Years/Because I Want Another Party celebration on December 31 at Ásynja Meadery. Throw sharp objects and be merry.

Has anyone else come across a really aggressive unicorn today? I guess maybe I got too used to Swift Wind because I tried to go up and pet it, and it literally tried to stab me with its horn.

As if the Sanctum isn't dealing with enough crap I woke up to this in my room.

What are the damn rules again?

So this mobile telephone is cool. Still unsure about that welcome flick, though.

It's a curious thing to be in corporeal form once again, though curiouser that my brother is not here with me. The possibility space is a fickle mistress, mind you, though Robert and I were one within it. Moving amongst the realities as we pleased. Being bound by form greatly limits what I am able to discover.

I must ask — what are the rules for procuring laboratory space?

So I was rearranging the comics at the store (duh) and made a display of my favorite graphic novels. Superheroes were how I got in to comics--a part of that was because I was and am a scrawny, pale, gay nerd looking for an escape, but the other part was definitely because it's hard not to get into them when you're walking to get coffee and Spider-Man is literally swinging around New York.

(And then your favorite superhero turns out to be your mom, hi Wanda)

But there are some great ones that aren't superhero based, some that literally made me experience all the feels, some that are just clever storytelling.

( Billy Kaplan Presents: Please Someone Read These and Love These With Me )

Anyway, just a small collection of the great stuff out there, but hit me up for more recommendations because I could seriously talk about this stuff for forever. Also, we have a pretty great D&D group, newbies welcome.

Since this place fucking sucks sometimes, Blue and I set up a bunch of rando targets to throw axes at. We're going to play loud angry lady rock and bitch about everything we fucking hate and destroy targets with sharp objects and maybe smash a few things while we're at it.

No optimists or cheerful attitudes allowed, but if you're angry and sad too, and you just want to hate on something, feel free to come on by.

Beetlejuice starts tomorrow, for anyone who wants to come out and see madness, mayhem, cool-ass puppets, vulgarity, and me locking lips with Loki. Runs until Sunday and I'll happily host a cast/crew party at Skyhold after if we want (hi husbando, surprise).

And in case anyone also wanted to know - popping popcorn in an ice cream bar and oil is a total fucking lie, don't let Tik Tok fool you. I gave that scientific experiment a go and was not pleased with the results.

Since this place is (kinda???) done throwing curveballs I've finally finished THIS BABY after a lot of toss and debate on buying versus fixing up a junk one. Junk one got picked up, got fixed (thanks Adam and Toph and Jake and sorry for all the impatient hissing??) and it's ready to go. If you want to start a biker gang, hit me up. I'm ready.

Unrelated note though - any recommendations for wedding venues? Asking for an ex-girlfriend. She's being impatient.

It's Jacob and Evie's birthday today. We all know I'm eloquent as fuck, but even I'm not sure I have anything good enough to say. The world's a little less shitty with you in it.

KnivesWithFen on YouTube is officially a go. I already recorded my first video which is about my favorite kind of daggers that I own. I will be posting it weekly on Fridays provided there is no full moon during then!

Or giant cicadas attacking.

Or murder turkeys attacking. Whatever else we've had so far.

Also, HI, THOR! You have been missed! Come visit me! ;) ;)

Filter: Ruby

Because I want to be totally candid since we're fucking and all, you should know my husband from my world showed up. Eliot was here before and then disappeared and now he's back again. I guess the marriage was more or less arranged, my father made this blade that could kill a particular being and in exchange for it, I was to marry the king of Fillory, so there ya go.

Wow. This place is something.

And now I keep singing "what's this?" at everything I see.

Oh and I tried to tell them I was Diego, but they said he's here, so then I said Ben, and then they told me they knew I was Klaus and that I had been here before but I certainly don't remember it.

Currently seeking: sparring partner, preferably with knives.

ALRIGHT. This is my attempt at cheering myself up and not thinking of my friends who are not here and depressing myself all over again.

So, I absolutely enjoyed reading about Earth holidays that didn't show up in Fillory like Halloween and Christmas (well we have some type of versions but they're a lot different... don't ask, I don't really want to get into the details of it and thinking about Fillory will probably make me sad). I just never got a chance to be able to participate because in my world, there was always some shit going on.

THAT BEING SAID, I am taking the chance now and this is going to be my first Halloween in Vallo, and I want to fucking deck everything out! Where do I get decorations? What kind of ideas should I get into? Should I bother trying to bake anything and blow up the kitchen or should I just buy pastries myself? Where are the best Halloween parties??

Happy Birthday, Hargreeves'.