vallo

[Filtered to Nikolai]

Good morning, Nikolai. I hope your morning's going well.

Tell me, do you have geese in Ravka?

[Filtered to FF House 2023]
Hey, does anybody have a minute to come out to the art building on campus and help me with a little problem? I'm so sorry to be a bother, I know everybody's busy, but there's this goose, and I think maybe it's possessed by demons or it's a vicious weregoose or something??? If it IS a vicious weregoose I'm in trouble, because the darn thing bit me.

Or maybe this is just what normal geese are like? I don't know, I'm from the city, we don't just have geese hanging out. But I tried to just get out of its way, and it CHASED ME, and now it has me cornered by the dumpster behind the sculpture studio and it won't let me leave. Every time I try it starts flapping and snapping and HONKING.

Anyway, the point is, please come help, this is really not cool.

HELLO THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION YOU WILL EVER READ IN YOUR SHORT TINY LIVES

LASZLO CRAVENSWORTH AKA JACKIE DAYTONA AKA JACK THE RIPPER HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM ME BY WINGED DEVILS

(not the sexy scrumptious kind of Mr. Lucifer)
(unless this is Mr. Lucifer playing a very fun game in which case you cheeky horny little fox)

THIS IS VERY SAD FOR ME AND I WILL ACCEPT ANY AND ALL SUPPORT AS I WAIL AND MY BOSOM HEAVES

also Nandor and Gizmo are COMPLETELY IGNORING MY WAILS FUCKING USELESS I TELL YOU

[GROUP TEXT TO ADAM, TEELA & CATRA]

» So, I got into a situation on my morning run.
» Catra, don't laugh.
» I think I'm being held hostage by geese.

[Filtered to Lan Xichen and Temeraire]

I would hate to cause you any distress while you've such dire work to be done, but I'd hate more for you to be surprised upon your return or for you to hear from it from an outside source.

Roland was sent back home this morning.

UH, HELLO!

I hate to alarm people but I feel like you should also know that the geese are back. Those geese. If you're new since then, you're about to learn.

Also some of them stole my knives. That's the part that might alarm. If anyone can help get them back though that would be gr-- wrong priorities

New Asgard is under attack.

The geese return and they return with a vengeance. If you are uninjured from yesterday's events and are not under siege from these geese yourself, please come assist. The helhounds and fighters in the village are holding them at bay for now, but their numbers seem to be increasing.

Shiro, I am rerouting half of Team B to assist here, but the rest are on their regular patrol shifts and picking up the slack of those in New Asgard or elsewhere.

EDIT 1: THEY ARE ARMED WITH A FLAMETHROWER AND KNIVES AND HAVE INCREASED IN NUMBERS EXPONENTIALLY. AIR SUPPORT AND WATER TYPES, REQUESTED.

EDIT 2: DAUD DO NOT RETURN TO YOUR DWELLING. IT IS NO LONGER A DWELLING, BUT AN ENEMY STRONGHOLD.

EDIT 3: THE STABLES ARE GONE. AS IS THE COMMUNITY GARDEN. TORUNN HOLDS STRONG AT THE BELL TOWER AND DAUD FIGHTS FIERCELY FOR THE VILLAGE SCHOOL.

EDIT 4: PEACE WAS NEVER AN OPTION. TALKS OF A TRUCE HAVE FAILED.

Hello.

At approximately 0830 I was taken prisoner by geese.

In accordance with best practices in hostage situations, I attempted to establish a rapport with my captors. I did not get into an ideological or philosophical debate with them (mostly because I can only understand maybe every other word they are saying/honking) but I did provide them with sound, logical, reasonable issues that I think they haven't considered. I am not complaining or being belligerent with them.

I have made MANY observations about them, even though I do not have my notebook. And I know the exact way to get to where we are from where I was, because I was taking notes in my head about the directions.

Also, please do not comply with their demands, because that only rewards VERY bad behavior.

Thank you!

It's my Valloversary! It's hard to believe I've lived here for a year already.

Thanks for all the geese, Vallo. It's just what I've always wanted.

Enjoy this day of rest. We've earned it, but we're not done.

Throughout my many years of service to this world, I have seen my fair share of disasters and apocalyptic scenarios. From alien invasions to rogue A.I. systems, the threats to its people have been varied and numerous.

But let me tell you this: every time the world has been threatened with destruction, it has always been met with bravery and resilience.

It is in the face of adversity that we truly find our strength. We have seen this time and time again, from the bravery of our soldiers in wartime to the selflessness of our first responders in times of crisis.

No matter the threat, we have always come together as a people to face it head-on. And that is what makes me proud to be an Outlander, and to be a citizen of this world.

But make no mistake, this threat is real. Interitus is not to be taken lightly. It knows we have a plan, regardless of our success. We must be prepared for anything that may come our way.

It is up to us to work together and come together for the greater good. We must be willing to sacrifice for one another, to stand up for what is right, and to fight for the survival of our world.

So let us not fear the end of the world, for it is in the darkest of times that we shine the brightest. We have faced many apocalypses before, and we're sure to face more in the future. But with courage and determination, we will always emerge victorious.

For as long as there are people willing to fight for what is right, the world will never truly end.

Stay strong, my friends. The future is in our hands.

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