I've been seeing and talking to spirits for as long as I can remember, but mascots are still one of the few things that creep me the hell out about the afterlife. Little known fact: not-so-nice spirits like hiding in those giant costumes. It's easier than possessing someone because it's hollow, I guess, but to be honest, I never asked. I don't
want to.
Anyway. My friends and I were on a road trip a while ago, and we used to pass this one mascot—his name was Kenny Crow, a giant black bird with huge eyes—who would sit motionless outside a couple diners. Sometimes he pretended to be a mannequin, and I didn't want to freak my friends out or anything, but he was
definitely hiding in that thing, he just. Wasn't breathing. You know. As a treat.
You look at this and tell me it isn't the creepiest thing ever.