Network

The president of my sorority might be able to force me to wear a costume but she can't force me to wear one of the slutty animal ones that she and her clones are wearing - I'll be going as a nurse.

This is why I shouldn't try to bake things as a way to be nice to other people. Or cook using anything but the microwave ever. Apparently using wax paper as the liner on your baking sheet is a bad idea because it make a shit ton of smoke come out of the oven when you open it up.

I was in the supermarket, just buying the groceries for this week and minding my own business. And this very creepy and weird old man came up to me. He was at least in his 60s if not older. And... proceeds to try to hit on me by using bible verses? Not my religion or my holy book, but he said it was by Solomon, if that tells any of you who did grow up with it how creepy he was being? This was a surreal level of creepy I've never experienced before. I'm not sure what to make of this entire thing because it was just... weird. I didn't know how to respond other than I'm spoken for. Because how do you even deal with someone old enough to be your grandfather using the bible as a pick up line?

He also seemed annoyed I didn't know what it was from. Maybe you shouldn't be quoting it to perfect strangers who just want to buy their porkchops and go home.

I'm beginning to understand why, in my dreams, the Host Club just always bribes me with food to get me to agree to whatever nonsense they've got going on that week. I just sat here doing homework at the kitchen table and managed somehow to eat an entire pound and a half of fruit without even noticing that I was doing it.


I guess at least it wasn't chips or something.

It's just your usual Sunday. Get coffee and breakfast for your girlfriend, settle into the living room to put together some IKEA. She's not shapeshifting into random animals, it's a great time to put together her new wardrobe.

Then you get completely flustered in 20 minutes and nearly set everything on fire. Like you do. Yup, typical Sunday for The Avatar.

Meet Juliet and Marc. Maman’s new puppies for breeding. Juliet was gotten from a breeder someone on here put me in touch with, and don’t let that picture fool you - she has more energy than her raccoon friends can handle.

Marc flew back with me from my brief stop in France this weekend on my way home from Japan. He is actually the son of one of the boys from the same litter as Antoinette, and he most definitely inherited his aunt and father’s cuddlyness. He doesn’t want to sit anywhere but in someone’s lap and actually seems to be perfectly happy to do nothing but that on some days. Regardless of who it is that he sees a lap on, so if you come over to visit - be prepared for a lapful of chubby puppy and clothes covered in dog hair.

I went to the campus early today because I was expecting trouble with my classes since I've missed the first two weeks but none of my teachers had any problem with me just starting to attend. They even told me not to worry about assignments I'd missed and my composition instructor isn't even going to take points off for being late with my summer assignment. I don't know what I did to get so lucky but it feels good to have things working out in my favor this way.

[Private to Haruhi]
And he’s taken to sleeping in my room with Antoinette and I. Sometimes in the bed if there’s a storm or a lot of traffic or noise outside. Unlike her, he doesn’t like to sleep at the foot of the bed, he likes the middle so that he’s right by you with his stuffed bird.

I had a Dream again last night. It's been awhile, and I think Tama's ahead of me. So I was wondering when I was going to have one again.

This time it was a little kid trying to join the Host Club, because he wanted to learn how to make girls happy. Sounds adorable in theory, right? But this kid is an absolute terror and goes about insulting all of us and all of our guests. I go to spy on him to find out why he's even trying to join our club and... it looks like it's a specific girl who is moving, and he wants to tell her how he feels before she leaves.

Turns out the abandoned music room we have our meetings in is an actual music room, and there is a piano. Who knew? And Tamaki convinces him to play a duet with the girl.

All I have to say is, why do I always have to wear a wig whenever the club decides to play cupid? Can it be someone else's job next time?

There si agod and I'm sleping with her


(ooc: some of the comments are a little risque for work)

How many years is a laptop battery supposed to last? The one I have is original to the computer, and I've had it since Freshman year of high school, and lately it's started to act really weird. When I finish charging it and unplug it, it will say for an hour or so that it's at 100% battery, and then it goes down to 7% quite suddenly and warns me to plug it back in, without the bar gradually getting lower.

I don't really want to get a new laptop, all my things are on this one. plus we can't afford So I'm hoping it's just the battery. That's easy to replace, right? How will I even find out what I need?

[Tamaki]

No. I love you. But no.

I've been dogsitting for my boyfriend while he's trying to get family things sorted out, and I'm really afraid that they are going to be spoiled rotten when he gets home. It seems like they've already figured out, or at least Antoinette has, that I'm a soft touch and Papa's rules don't strictly apply right now. Which... honestly is the complete opposite of how I figured we'd be as parents, pet parents or otherwise.

If you don’t want to be asked for your ID everytime you hand your credit card to a clerk at a store maybe you shouldn’t write ‘SEE ID’ on the back in the signature portion. And if you you definitely shouldn’t scream at the clerk for daring to ask for your ID. We’re just following your written instructions and trying to make sure we’re not charging things on your card for other people. You should be pissed at all the people who didn’t ask for your ID after seeing that. Or maybe just be pissed off at yourself for causing this situation by not signing your damn card in the first place.

Someone please explain why adult men find it funny to try and claim they made the bill they’re paying with just that morning after they see it get checked with the counterfeit detector pen. This has been happening every day for the past two weeks to my cashiers. Different guys, but the same exact joke. And today the guy saying it actually got pissed off that everybody didn’t laugh about it like it was the funniest thing we’d ever heard. Sorry but we’ve heard it over a dozen times and it wasn’t that funny to begin with.

And the fact that other people have found it funny? Means absolutely nothing to me. Either they have a different sense of humor or, what I think is the case, they were workers who had to laugh either to get a tip out of you or just to keep their job, since according to my new hire the fact that I’ve said that as long as they aren’t rude as shit to the customers I don’t care what they do so long as they’re professional. They don’t have to laugh at the crappy jokes or joke around them if they don’t want. Just be polite and don’t make me have any guest complaints to deal with.

This entire trip is nothing more than him proving to himself that he can still control things. Control me and my life. He wouldn’t unfreeze my cards and account unless I agreed to come to Japan to discuss my spending with him face to face. I’ve been here almost two weeks, and every day there’s been some emergency to keep him from seeing me. And since I’m not being allowed to stay at the main house with him, the option of just discussing it after dinner one night so that I can come home isn’t being allowed to me either.

And now I’m having to dodge Eclair whose family just happens to be visiting Japan at the exact time I’m here and somehow it was just mentioned to them that I was staying at the second house. I should be glad the housekeeper here likes me, otherwise I probably wouldn’t be able to hide during the dozen times a day she drops to see if I’m in so that we can ‘catch-up’. I was able to see her on the security monitor yesterday and that was not a “just wanting to catch up” outfit.

[Private to Haruhi]
I miss you. And it’s lonely here. I only ever got to meet his business associates when I was here before and I don’t want to see any of them. One good thing is coming out of this trip though - I’m making lots of progress on my composition. The piano here isn’t the best but...it’s here so I’m using it.

I have seen this a few times now, and I am somewhat confused.

I wish to preface this with saying that I am not attempting to lessen anyone's courage. However, I feel like this may be a part of American culture that I am somehow not understanding.

Are there cultural reasons behind the announcements of sexual preference? I understand that in this country this month is used to champion the sexual spectrum and those across it who have faced prejudice, I took a gender studies course last year and we discussed Stonewall, I am aware of the ramifications there.

What I am struggling with is the reasons behind these things. Can anyone explain them? Is there such a way to do that?

I usually just get the store brand of eyedrops, contact solution, etc for whatever they consider the most popular brand. I figure that the ingredients couldn't be that much different than the more expensive brands, at least the most expensive brands that aren't for specific medical purposes. Out of curiosity today, I picked up the one that said "all natural" to see why they were so expensive vs what I usually use. All natural would have different ingredients after all, right?

Oh yeah, they were certainly different. The active ingredient of the "all natural one" was belladonna. Which... I'm fairly certain is a poison? I think I'll just stick to the generic version of Blink. Seems a lot safer.

Not even halfway through the summer, and I’ve already gotten through most of what was on my to-do list for around the house. I should have signed up for summer sessions.

[Private to Margo Hanson]
So I found some of Penny’s things that he left when he fucked off in the middle of the night moved and since you knew him I figured I’d ask if you wanted any of it before I threw it out.

Well it looks like part of my summer will be spent in Japan fighting with my father and his lawyers. The courts ruled he has to provide me with an allowance until I finish school that will allow me to live the same way I would have if he and maman had stayed married. They never ruled that I wasn’t allowed to use that money on her and things she needs and helping with her medical bills that insurance doesn’t cover. But ce monstre has frozen my cards until I come and explain the charges personally.

[Haruhi and James]
Will you check in on maman some while I’m gone? She might need help with the dogs and raccoons and someone to make sure she gets to her appointments.

I need a sign that says "Do not touch me" for when I'm on the bus because people here clearly do not understand what headphones and looking down at your phone mean. It means 'I don't want to talk' for anyone who was uncertain. It doesn't mean keep tapping me on the shoulder until I give up what I'm doing to talk to you to get you to leave me alone. Why do people think that just because they're okay with being touched by strangers that everyone else is?

Even for me this dream was...different. A little girl showed up at our school looking for her older brother, who is the head of the black magic club that meets at the same time as our Host Club, but apparently she hasn't seem him in so long that all she remembers is that he has blonde hair. So when she sees me she thinks that I'm him and before we can convince her that she's mistaken and take her to her actual brother two of their servants show up to take her home and we find out that the reason they haven't seen each other is he scares her in his occult wear because she's afraid of the dark. And because he's afraid of the light he always wears his cloak so there's no chance for her to be around him and not scared of the 'monster'.

Umehito, her brother, comes in when he hears she's there looking for him and frightens her really badly so he leaves and I work with Renge to come up with a plan to help. Which turns out to be a makeover for him that turns him into a prince like she thinks he is who will rescue her from the 'monster'. Step one is convincing him to give up his occult wear because he's fear of the light and that it'll kill him or something is just in his mind. It doesn't work out exactly like what he planned but he does save her! From an unfriendly cat not a monster and then he collapses from being exposed to the sun for so long so...Renge and I were a little wrong that it wouldn't actually hurt him.

(Posted around 6pm)

( cut for gif and to save friends pages, viewable to all, also Thor there's a maybe puncturable gif in here sorry? )

Well if my Dreams have taught me anything it's that I really need to work on teaching Sawhorse what the words Whoa and Stop mean. The only thing worse than walking to the Emerald City with him and Jack is walking there without them because bad company is better than not at all where Tip is concerned. Me here? I could live with a little bit less of Sawhorse's attitude while we're house hunting. I did meet someone else in the Dreams though - some girl named Jinjur who offers to share her lunch pail with me as long as I carry it for her and do whatever else she says. It's Old Mombi all over again for him apparently.

There's apparently an Army of Girls marching on the Emerald City to overthrow the ruler because "men have ruled long enough" and have been keeping all the jewels to themselves instead of "making them into jewelry for girls to wear and spending all the treasury money on gowns". I like jewelry and dresses as well as the next but even I have to say that this girl is clearly selfish. Bankrupting an entire country for gowns and jewels? Tip tries to talk her out of it by pointing out that war is going to cost too many lives but she won't listen because no man is going to hurt a girl and that is what her Army is made up of.

She was right though - the Army of Girls conquered the army of the Emerald City using their knitting needles and took control. I'm actually a little worried about the city and what's going to happen to everybody in the land of Oz.

So according to one of my nieces I am the absolute worst aunt ever, which when you think about the number of kids between my two sets of parents really says something for what I did. She called yesterday sobbing like someone had just broken her heart into a million pieces so I pulled over to the side of the road to talk to her and try to get her to calm down and tell me what had happened. Because she called me and not one of her parents and whatever it was I'd fill them in later with however much they had to know to make sure she was okay. Anyway 45 minutes later she had finally calmed down enough for me to get what had happened out of her - the whole conversation I was trying to mentally prepare myself for the absolute worst news she could have gotten - only to find out that the whole thing was over some celebrity cat who had passed away that she'd followed on Instagram.

Following on Instagram was the entire amount of interaction she'd had with this cat and their owners. Just liking the pictures that were posted. And okay my reaction probably won't win me a position in the amazing aunt hall of fame but I think it's at least a little understandable that the first thing out of my mouth was "Are you kidding me? All this over a cat? That you didn't even know?"

Maman has decided that she wants to start her breeding program now that we've been able to settle in for the most part. Her dog is too old for more healthy litters and Antoinette I had fixed because I never intended to breed her. All of our contacts for puppies are in France and she doesn't want to ship a new puppy. Or new puppies actually and I can't blame her for it. Antoinette did not do well on the flight and then in quarantine before we were able to bring her home. There's also the issue of who would even fly over to France to collect the puppies if we went with one of our old sources. As much as I would love to go visit our family and friends again I cannot because I have lessons lined up for this summer - adding a couple of other students to my client list and Maman can't travel by herself like that yet.

Does anyone on here know of a good reliable source for healthy purebred golden retrievers? Ideally two sources so that the puppies would be from different lines?

[Haruhi]
Want some good news? Isaac called last night with instructions that I tell you as soon as possible. You made quite an impression on him it seems.

Just when I think I've finally gotten used to the way normal everyday life is here in California, minus our regular area apocalypses of course, I find out something new that just has me wondering what the hell is actually going on out here. My roommate and I were feeling a bit too lazy to cook tonight so decided to go online and see if there were any new restaurants added to the list that deliver to our complex. And there's a Sno-Cone place that delivers here. In what universe do you need to have a Sno-Cone delivered to your house? Wouldn't it be practically melted by the time it got to you anyway?

I'm going to assume these creatures are part of the weird things that I've been told to expect.

...Yes, you see me here a lot. Yes, I'm Japanese-American. No, I really, really don't work here. I just have an addiction to tuna sashimi. Please leave me and my food alone.

Do professors take "bi-monthly semi-apocalypse" as a valid reason for a late assignment, or does that happen so frequently in Orange County that they figure you should have known and planned ahead for such a thing? Inquiring minds (and GPAs) want to know.

I’m never going to get used to reliving high school in these Dreams. Never. Please someone start working on a fast forward button that would work in them so I can get through the awkward parts like me freaking out over a date with a guy because I’m scared I’m going to go invisible during it. I know that my Dreamself doesn’t agree with her friend Catty but practice definitely helps get control of it so that you don’t go invisible when a cute guy tries to kiss you.

If the fast forward button is too much to ask for - how about a way to communicate with our Dreamselves?

Hey, it's me again. Your guy, Tony Stark. I have to stick the name on there because everyone on here is always all 'who are you again?'. Seriously, youtube search me, you'll even get videos with my clothes off. If you're into that.

So I need a person. I had a person, but she did such a great job that she got a promotion. Now it's your turn! General you. The person has to be able to handle things like: Kicking one night stands out of my apartment if I end up too busy to see them out, remembering important details like my birth date and my social security number, buying stuff when I need it, procuring me rare art, and being available for random trips to places at that last minute. Plus, I'll probably text you at 3am at least a zillion times. Very importantly, I've been told it's like babysitting. So someone with enough of a spine to tell a guy like me "Tony, No, it's 4am, get pizza at a normal time of night" is uniquely qualified to professionally babysit one Tony Stark.

There's awesome benefits and compensation for being forced to work for such a gigantic asshole as me. Hit me up.

On another note? I'm totally Iron Man, apparently. Like, super hero gig stuff. And Pop Tarts? You're on my naughty list.

The best way to get people to leave me alone on campus is to listen to something on my phone. I could listen to spotify, but there’s something much more satisfying about the look on people’s faces when I tell them that I’m binging a true crime podcast because I want to learn about the different things people have done to hurt each other. To see what the common denominators would be. If there even are any. Today I was sitting in the cafeteria, eating lunch and doing one of my readings with my headphones on and the episode I was listening to started talking about how this guy got sentenced for beating another man to death while drunk and somehow was making and drinking vodka in his prison cell, but none of the prison officials figured out that he was until it was time for him to be eligible for parole. And I just have to ask - how does a prison not realize that one of their prisoners is drinking? Like what is going on that you don’t realize that the guy has vodka breath all the time?

I just wanted to wish everyone it applies to a happy Trans Day of Visibility.

There are days where I really wish I lived closer to my dad so that I could smack my brothers upside their heads. Or at the very least that their mom would warn me that the boys are around when we’re talking on the phone and they’re overhearing our conversation. Or maybe she and dad should just take their credit cards away for a few days because I got a surprise from them - some new lipsticks since I told their mom I needed to go buy some. Nice gift right? That’s what I thought too until I opened them up and saw that they were shaped like penises.

What the fuck did I just watch? I was on twitter and someone retweeted a compilation video of kids throwing fucking pickles at each other. They were literally taking them out of burgers and tossing them at each other. We're fucking doomed if this is the next generation.

So I’m not sure exactly why but I’m getting emails about products to enlarge my penis. What? Why? I haven’t visited any websites that would have led to that. And I checked all my registries so I know there’s nothing embedded in my system

People can say whatever they like about China - but they know what people want. They built a 250 acre solar farm, which is pretty cool on it’s own because that’s a lot of solar energy instead of fossil fuels. But they went one step further according to the article I read - they built it in the shape of a giant panda. And everyone loves pandas. It’s a fact. And not only did they build one - they have plans to build two more massive solar farms that are shaped like pandas.

I still can't believe how many Starbucks you have. I'm pretty sure I saw them building a Starbucks across the street from another Starbucks. I like coffee, but I mean why.

I do love my boyfriend. I do love spending time with him. I don't love not being able to be 20 feet away without us being thrown back against each other or having to dodge one hell of an overprotective parent who is wondering why he hasn't seen me since Wednesday. I mean, at least he works third shift so he can't exactly wait up for me. But, he's still getting pretty worried, and when he's worried he over reacts. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't tried to report me as being missing by this point.

So Cops in the Anaheim area, if an Asian drag queen, most likely in a red wig, tries to say I've been kidnapped, please reassure him I haven't been?

How old do you get before your grandparents stop giving you things meant for a younger child as presents? I'm in college. The tablet with the bouncey edges is a little young for me... And so is the sweater with the carousel horses. Keeping the stuffed frog, though. Kermit's going to be passed on to my own kids one day.

I had birthday breakfast with them and Dad. Who as always got the employees to sing at me. Why, why do people do that, why is it a thing? It's just. It's so embarrassing. If you're one of those people that do that, please don't. People aren't protesting to seem polite about being the center of attention. They sincerely don't want to be. (Of course I'm the introvert only child of an extrovert. And from the sounds of it, mom was an extrovert as well. Pretty sure they don't know what to do with an introvert.)

The rest of my birthday was spent with Tamaki. We went to go see a movie, and then my favorite sushi place. Where luckily, the staff don't sing and I could stuff my face with all the seafood I wanted in peace.

Are you kidding me right now? I finally get one of those things that I THINK are the dreams, but it's basically my childhood all over again. There are really only a few changes. Come ON.

Valarnet, I was robbed. Your dream phenomenon is robbing me. I demand strange dreams with weird shit where spiders bite me or frost dragons attack people.

February isn't real. Winter doesn't exist past January 31st. After that, it's just Pre-Spring.

The thing about these dreams is you find yourself frustrated with people you have never met.

The Host Club apparently has it's own website, and two of the members, twins, photoshopped a picture of my face onto a shirtless guy's body and uploaded that. Since none of our guests know I'm, you know, me, it's supposed to be me.

They start bugging me to come see my house, and get Tama joining along in bugging me, too. They tell me I have to guess which twin is which, and if I guess wrong I have to let them visit. I guess right, because you two SIT NEXT TO ME IN CLASS EVERY DAY how can I honestly not know which of you is which? I don't know how, but this starts a huge argument between the two twins. They both dyed their hair to avoid looking like each other, they started a food fight at lunch, and it continues on into the next club meeting. Out of sheer frustration, I tell them they need to make up or they'll never get to see my apartment. And they stopped, like that. Because they played all five of us, just pretending to fight so they could see where the "commoner" lived.

Also on top of having a Host Club, our high school has a Black Magic Club. What even IS this school?

Apparently Eliot and I are the worst when it comes to relationships because neither of us can think of anything to do for Valentine's Day. We've been talking about going somewhere, but can't decide on a place at such short notice. Any suggestions would be really bloody helpful. One thing we don't want is snow. That's the one thing we can agree on.

Twice this month the podcast app I use on my phone has completely cleared my playlist for no reason. I’ll be listening to something and all of a sudden every episode I had to listen to will be gone and I have to go in and manually restore them all. I think I need a new app. Any recommendations? If I don’t think about what’s going on out there I can’t worry about it. And if I don’t worry Maman and the dogs won’t worry

[Haruhi]
You and your father are safe with all this going on oui?

Okay so I might have been a bit hasty jumping straight to thinking everyone was on drugs after looking over the posts on here. My new theory is that there's some kind of experimentation being done on the people that live in this area. Either that or I've gone nuts because I just saw a damn zombie outside my apartment building

[written in Latin]

Dream me is very interesting. He can fly, create storms, throw lightning bolts (suck it Hercules), and knows Latin. Which somehow translated over into the real world over the holidays. I just woke up one morning and I could understand all the Latin on the buildings downtown. Naturally I decided to take Latin this semester in hopes that if I understand it, it will be an easy class to pass. I am in awe of this new thing. Flying would be fun, but now I am able to call people a shiny red babboon's butt without them knowing that is what I am saying.

So I know a new language, apparently. I've been singing Elvis in Latin for the last three days. It sounds hilarious. Next song I'll write in Latin, about jellybeans, just for kicks. Anyone else suddenly learn a new language from these dreams?

If you ever want to witness stupid, watch Californians trying to drive in the rain. You'd think the apocalypse is coming.

When you’ve lived in apartments all of your life, you get used to having really weird neighbors. I don’t know, maybe people in houses have the same ratio of weird neighbors, but they don’t move as much, so new ones aren’t introduced in as often, or you simply aren’t in as close contact with them because you don’t share walls and parking lots.

Long before I had the next door neighbor that partied all night while her parents were gone, there was the woman that lived in the apartment on the other side of us. She kept a blue tarp up on her back patio, and in fact you can still see it on google street view, since they haven’t updated their pictures of our apartment in… ever. She kept the tarp up so she could sunbathe nude, something well known here because of how many times the wind blew it away and she chased it in her birthday suit. Somehow this never got her kicked out by the landlord. (What did get her kicked out by the landlord was not paying her rent.)

So Dad tells me today the person who lives in that apartment now said that a woman named Linda came by, talking about how she used to live there and how she was thinking of moving back. The same Linda we’ve had confused collection agencies sending us mail for ever since she moved away. ...There’s no way, if it’s the same woman, they’d rent to her again, is there? After they had to kick her out the first time.

Naked lady returns. Just as we were getting used to having sane neighbors.

It seems that I'm being given my Christmas present early this year. The doctor has decided Maman is recovered enough to go home as long as I can guarantee that she will rest a few more days. I just have to hope that the fact that I haven't decorated at all for Christmas won't upset her too much. Maybe if I stay up all night I can get at least a little decorating done and take a cab to pick her up tomorrow...

...The home page for firefox has a review of the motorola razr as one its links of the day. What year is it?

If anyone wanted tickets for Moulin Rouge but wasn’t able to get them - let me know. Maman and I won’t be able to use ours after all.

[Marguerite]
Merci. For all of your help in helping me try and arrange a surprise for Maman by getting her backstage. Her health will not allow us to actually make use of it.

[Haruhi]
I’m so sorry I stood you up last night Haruhi. Maman had a relapse. At least I think that’s the right word and I had to go with her to the hospital and our plans completely slipped my mind. I swear I will make it up to you though.