Network

I love being in class with a bunch of theater nerds. If there is a song for any situation, you can bet someone will bring it up. Case in point, we decided today to debate Henry Higgins’ sexuality with the teacher, because Eliza Doolittle clearly is barking up the wrong tree there. The teacher actually thinks we’re reading things into the musical that aren’t there, but come on. He called himself a “confirmed bachelor” and everyone knows that was code back then for gay. She kept going on about how the time the musical took place wasn’t very accepting… proving our point. Because that’s why they needed to code it.

Eventually one of us decides to be an asshole* and break into “There! Right There!” from Legally Blonde the musical. I kind of feel sorry for my teacher for having to deal with half off the class singing “Is he gay or European?”, at the same time it was very fitting. And we were right.



*I might have been the asshole. Maybe. Possibly.

Sometimes this whole dream thing can backfire. Anyone ever have an experience of dreaming of other people, then you sit down to, say, watch a television show or something and you see someone who looks exactly like someone from your dreams but it's not and then that show is ruined for you? Yeah, totally had that experience.

Fucking dreams gave me the ability to hear fucking everyone's thoughts. I could control it before but now it's just fucking everyone all at once. You people are so fucking LOUD, think quieter, for the love of god.


ETA 2/21: all replies assumed to be posted before this post!

Okay, so maybe the Dreams aren't so bad after all. Just, naturally, there's magic.

The Universe is laughing at me.




Neena

Are you busy tonight, my love?

Okay I'm gonna eat my fuckin' words on this one but I started fucking dreaming again. They're even stupider, bullshittier, and trippier than before. Fuck this noise.

So I had another dream. I left my man in the bend of the road for Mombi to find when she came back and he failed at scaring her. But she used a magic spell of some sort combined with a powder she had to bring him to life, and when I laugh she drags me out of where I was hiding to watch and was pretty mad at me over it. She locked my Pumpkinhead up in the stable and then took me into the house where I had to fix dinner, but Mombi refused to let me eat. Luckily I’d gathered some nuts while I was waiting for her to get home and hidden them in my pocket so as soon as she wasn’t looking I ate them.

I guess my little prank was the last straw for her though. She started brewing a potion that would turn me into a statue that she’s going to put in her garden. It has to cool until morning and of course that’s where I wake up. It’s so frustrating where these dreams choose to end sometimes!

I never in my life thought I’d be saying this but - books can have sex. I had to go track down a book that was missing from the campus library. The easiest way to do that was to take it’s companion volume with Quentin and I. It led us to a hedge witches safe house and while I was tracking down the missing book - and then trying to ignore the rather enthusiastic reunion going on behind me - Quentin was talking to his old friend Julia. I don’t trust that girl for some reason

If you know that someone you love is going to die in the dreams - should you tell them before they dream about it?

Glitter is the herpes of crafting supplies. It can lay dormant for years, but once it's out it spreads everywhere and is impossible to get rid of.

I would like to thank whoever is straightening their hair at 5:30 am, with no clue how to use a flat iron, for having to wake up because it set off the smoke alarm. Really, I had nothing better to do on a Sunday morning, like sleeping in, than to stand outside of the dorms in pajamas and bare feet while we all waited for an all clear.

It turns out there is a reason my dad didn’t show up in my dream. Not that he showed up in this one either. I had been traveling with Mom on her tours I still can’t believe she’s a country singer in the dreams, and there had been several weird things happen at a few of her concerts. Things exploding, fights breaking out… Mom decided it wasn’t safe for me to go on her tours anymore and that going to summer camp would be a better option for me. I have a feeling a few of you know where this is going.

I’m pretty hopeless at training. I mean, I’m okay with a bow. I might be able to hit the broad side of a barn with one. Forget swords. At least I’ve seemed to make a couple of friends there, a boy named Cecil and a girl named Lou Ellen. And it’s nice to just stay mostly in one place and not sleep on a tour bus. I thought I moved around a lot in my childhood here.

I have a fucking genie! Well, a Djinn, but same difference. Oh the possibilities this gives me. What do I even do first?

I have the sudden urge to donate an exorbitant amount to reliable and respectable news sources and journalism programs. Does any one have any recommendations as to which programs and/or news outlets should be on the receiving end?


[Separate but identical messages sent to Elsa, Jean Grey, Emma Frost, and Kara]

I'm so sorry. I (quite naively) didn't realize that my personal relationships would be dragged into the spotlight so handedly as my company became more public. If there is anything that I can do to ease your mind in regards to this issue, I'd be happy to do it.

My boyfriend Penny apparently got sick of my lack of holiday decorating spirit this year and took it upon himself to fix it by hanging mistletoe all over the damn apartment. I just hope he didn’t use magic mistletoe.

I'm glad that Eliot and Felix aren't as fucking obnoxious and loud as Eliot and his new boyfriend are in the dreams. El and I were supposed to go a this magical party/orgy in Ibiza and instead Eliot met Mike and it became all about Mike. If anything came of it, I got a genie. Well, we made a Djinn to give as a gift for the magical elders who were throwing the festival and we thought we were making magical gin since we wanted to give them something different than the year before.

In the end, Eliot decided to stay home with Mike and I had to bring boring Todd with me. Oh joy.

..There's a woman online claiming she's sleeping with ghosts. I.

What. I believe in plenty of impossible things, but this is just stupid. Good old internet ridiculousness, never change.

Oh my god! Are people seriously complaining about the Starbucks cups? What even makes them think that the hands are supposed to belong to lesbians? They're drawings of hands. There's nothing on them to specify a gender. People are seriously ridiculous. They will find any reason to complain about Starbucks' holiday cups.

Anytime someone shows up in the middle of the night at your house to talk about a relative? Just know it’s bad news. Dean finally made an appearance in my Dreams last night to tell Sam their father had gone missing on a hunting trip and ask for Sam to go with him. DreamMe isn’t thrilled at the idea of him taking off right before his law school interview... but it’s his dad. Family’s important and needs to come first, right? I just hope they find their dad okay and everybody can get a good laugh over the boys worrying over nothing.

What does one do when Thanksgiving is no longer a viable option? I wonder.

Also the gym will be open for those who desire to work off the turkey they do eat.

The holidays are always so depressing

Its that time of year again. You know the time, when everything that's been going good suddenly takes a downward spiral.

No reason to suspect this year will be any different.

I figured I better get around to introducing myself on here. Hi everyone, I'm Lucy, and I'm new. Not sure what all you guys care about, but I'm in my sophomore year at UC Irvine and studying political science. I like to spend a lot of free time volunteering and protesting. If you ever need tips on how to protect yourself from pepper spray you can always hit me up.

I'm super excited about how all these state/local elections. If you haven't done yourself a favor and looked at some of the results from the past day or so then go for it. We've got good beating out bad and it's baby steps to a better world. So many firsts - first openly transgender woman state legislature being out the state's "biggest homophobe". First Sikh mayor! So many awesome things :)

Attention, everyone. Some of you may have already noticed that creatures have invaded the county. They are called Grimm. Some of you I know are already familiar with them. However, for those that are not there are a few key things you need to know.

First. Grimm are attracted to negative emotions. The stronger the emotion, the larger the beast that can and will be attracted. For this reason, I must ask that you remain as calm and positive as possible, especially if you choose to fight them.

For those who do not or need a respite, I offer my shop, Emerald City Cafe, as a temporary haven from the Grimm. Rest assured you will be safe there.

Thank you.

It's not every day that I get hired by the same couple, each to find out if the other is cheating on them.

Probably a total cliche, and I tend not to take these kinds of jobs for this reason, but it's highly amusing that they're both so concerned they'll hire a private investigator rather than just talk to one another.

The things people will do.

If I had to turn thirty, at least I got a bloody fantastic party from my amazing sestras and boyfriend. I couldn't have asked for a better party. Not going to lie, it was nice going to a party that I didn't have to plan.

Speaking of parties, Eliot and I are planning a Halloween party. General invite post should be soon.

I saw a video on facebook the other day for these molds that can grow fruit into different shapes. There were apples and watermelon in the shape of hearts and even a watermelon shaped like a skull. It seems kind of cool, but at the same time, is it really good for the fruit to grow inside these plastic molds? Somehow I don't think it is.

I know that this time of year pumpkin spice becomes the in thing, but there's got to be a limit. There is no way my bar is trendy enough to serve pumpkin spice alcohol.

I have advice for everyone here. Never let Eliot and I administer tests of any kind. I won't lie, we thought it was the best thing in the world; especially watching Q and his friends run around like chickens with their heads cut off, but I don't think anyone else would think it was fun.

Been meaning to make a post about this, but I'm opening a certain kinda club. Not the same as the bar.

Sorry Aria, but you needed some competition.

We're hiring bar tenders and dancers.

You wanna hear somethin fun? The phrase 'high as giraffe pussy'. That's a good phrase.

PS, I'm high as giraffe pussy right now. Almost worth getting stabbed over.

I had my first dream! It was so weird and I can’t wait to see what happens in the next one! It looks like I might be in for a real adventure in them! Talking animals are a part of adventures after all! At the start of the dream I was sitting by the river with my sister, who seems to be a lot older than me there the same as here, while she read to me from a history book when this white rabbit goes running past. He says he’s going to be late and then pulls a pocketwatch out of his little vest pocket to double check the time!

Of course I had to follow after him and see where he was going that was so important, and went down the rabbit hole. I saw him jump down and that was when my alarm went off and woke me up, so I don’t know where we’re going but I’m so excited to find out!

Anyone on here have any sort of sway with local law enforcement? There’s a police officer interrogating my boyfriend Penny about his stab wound and we can’t really tell them “It happened in his Dreams and crossed over to here” and not have them think it’s a lie or that one or both of us are insane. Or on some type of drug.

I’m pretty sure they thought I’d done it since there was no one else in the apartment and no evidence of forced entry. Thank God I was on that early morning flight back home when it happened otherwise I’d probably be sitting in an interrogation room instead of the hospital waiting room.

FUCK ME, my dream self is a fucking idiot, fuck him, fuck everything.

How's the magical tattoo removal business around here? I can't wait for the drunk Russian asshole in my dreams to take care of this shit for me. I'm getting shit all out of order, I dreamt about getting this stupid fucking tattoo a few months ago and I'm only just now fucking getting it. I hate this place.

Well my dreams just took a turn for the better - I met Margo, who is just as fabulous there as she is here, and we managed to score what is apparently a highly coveted invitation on a trip to Ibiza. And as soon as I stepped foot on that beach I understood exactly why everyone at Brakebills wants to go.

If I’d wanted another tattoo, it wouldn’t have been something as ugly as this damn Dark Mark on my arm. Not what I wanted to ever wake up to see on me here. And now I have to figure out how to cover it up or explain to my five year olds that I joined a homicidal cult in my dreams. I really could punch my dream self in the throat and not regret it. This is not how I wanted to start Regulus’ birthday

It was only a matter of time, I suppose, from how people talk here before it started. I woke up this morning with a dream. One of those your life is different dreams. This is the third one I've had in as many days, and I didn't know what to expect first, so I kept my mouth shut, but... here I am.

I have been dreaming of being ten instead of sixteen, and of being recruited by a wizard to become the champion of magic. Which is freaky, and really kind of odd. Who recruits a ten-year-old to become a superhero, even if they get to transform into an adult body when they are being super? That takes some seriously weird vibes right there.

But young me loves the life and fights all kinds of weird bad guys. It's a little creepy, and cheesy, too. But also fun, in a way.

I thought that, since I'm personally focusing more on divination and my actual occult research job now (though it's given me a chance to try out more tools than cards and teacups - I've been using lithomancy and mirrors quite a bit now if anyone wants to experience a reading), I would do another recruitment drive for our Magic Guild. We've recently added an Apparition category as well. If interested, feel free to contact me - even if you just want a tour of our HQ and aren't sure which category you fall into, I'm available for that too.

Heartburn has become my worst enemy lately, but I'm still good for giving tours. Ginger and standing up while eating seem to help though being in my last trimester of pregnancy, I'm headed to 'get him out of me' sooner rather than later, I'm sure.

I'm thinking the most impressive part about these damn stories, dreams, whatever - is that even with the whole slaughtering of weird-ass humanoid creatures (man, they just appear everywhere), I still manage to keep my white suit pristine. These motherfuckers are ugly and straight out of nightmares. They're all teeth and laughs.

Pristine white suit and bringing comrades back from the dead. It's some zombie shit right there, not sure how I ended up with that skill when they were being passed around.

Y'all drink a lot, don't you? I can see why.

Alright, well, here I go, I seem to be a member of the dreaming club after all.

I dreamed I was a completely different person, with the same name, but like... a half-giant, of a race called Goliaths. It was crazy. I was part of a group called the Herd of Storms, and a lot of the group were real assholes, including me, sometimes.

Then I saved some really small guy, a gnome, from death, and the herd decided, or rather the leader decided, to beat the hell out of me and leave me for dead.

And that was where I woke up.

And the really creepy part? I had aches, little cuts, and bruises all over like it had really happened, but awhile back.

Well, good morning, everyone. Every day that we wake up not yet entangled in nuclear war is a good day, isn't it? Resident n00b here, and resident LGBT lawyer - Dorian Pavus, at your service, and I always keep up with my bar dues (yes, you have to pay to practice law, who'd have thunk?) and CLE requirements.

This forum is utterly fantastic and I'm so glad the idea to join came to me in a dream. Well, it didn't really, but I thought I'd mention that just to integrate myself seamlessly.

But what else about me? I live on a vineyard, I brew my own spirits, and then drink them. That may be all I can share at this time, and I eagerly await the scintillating conversations you will provide as I sip my oolong tea.

Does anyone know if the dreams stop if we leave the network? I'm willing to try it, if so. I refuse to be held hostage by another version of myself's shitty life anymore.

Quill, boy! I know you on this here message board thing. I sure as hell didn’t fly all the way out to this hippie state for the sunshine. One of the boys back home told me you was out here. I got me a new job as a bounty hunter now so you better reply. Don’t think I can’t track your skinny ass down more than I already have.

Also, since this is a public message board, might as well ask: where's the best bar you people got in this place? I'm talkin' about a real bar. Not some frilly joint that serves overpriced fancy looking artisanal shit. I mean a place that's questionable lookin', where a good 'ole bar fight isn't out of place.

So...a magical entrance exam for a magical school. Even though Margo told me we both went there - I wasn’t quite expecting that when I got there in the Dreams. “Congratulations you get to lie to everyone you know about what you’re doing while learning how to be a Magician.” Or - if you react the way DreamMe did - lie to everyone about where you grew up and where you came from and not worry about your family and friends back home. Sounds almost familiar

Remind me not to move ever again. Despite the fact that El and I didn't have a lot of furniture to actually move, it still took all fucking day. You would have thought we moved across town instead of to an apartment in the same building. At least now though, Eliot has his bed back, or will have it to himself once my new bed is delivered this week.

Speaking of Eliot, this is a very rare picture of him looking very un-Eliot because all of his good clothes were packed away. So of course, I have to share it.

( He's going to hate me. Oh well. )

It's rather irritating how your dreams stop whacking you over the head when you try to sleep, at least for the time being (though after getting married and maintaining some semblance of 'happy ending' I'm not certain where else this codswallop can go) though you still continue to get gifts. Especially ones that remind you of what an awful person you once were - though really, it's quite fitting for a pirate to keep murder trophies as shinies in a sea chest. Rings and other assorted jewelry, along with an empty bottle of booze and a spyglass. I've such use for this here, truly. Or not.

Anyway, hope you lot enjoyed the Fourth of July. I admit I don't understand the need for such patriotism, but then again, I don't understand Thanksgiving either. Or how embarrassing Americans are in general.

Though I will say if you're in need of a greasy breakfast for a hangover cure, the British do it right. I've been staring at that for ages and it makes me want to take a trip to Belfast even more. Not sure if they've got the ostrich eggs but an Ulster fry shining with grease ought to hit the spot.

It's July fucking sixth! Enough with the fireworks already! Not everyone wants to hear you blowing shit up.

I'm glad that I never really unpacked cause Eliot and I are moving into a bigger apartment this weekend so all we really need to pack up is his shit. I do need to go out and buy some furniture for my room though. I think maybe I'll go looking tomorrow. I probably should have done it sooner, but I've been focused on getting clients and this apartment.

Also, is it just me or is everyone but Eliot and I an idiot in my dreams? Honestly, if someone is dead, leave them that way.

The name's George and I just moved to dear ol'America.

Seems I moved into my new place just a wee bit too late actually. I missed all the fireworks, now whit am I going to unpack to, yeah? Side note: why is it so bloody hot here? I feel like I am wearing a wool jumper when I'm not. Gaunnae take a look around soon. Get a lay of the land and all that.

Och, right, starting Uni in the fall. Irvine to be exact.

Not sure what to think about you all. Ran into an old friend who gave me about as much info as I can handle (and that was some trippy shit) but I'm not really a message board kind of individual. Might be more a ghost around here but I thought I'd introduce myself anyway.

I'm Garcian. I clean crime scenes. You might of seen some mofo in a hazmat suit on a lame-ass reality TV show, what, like 'Dirty Jobs' or some shit? Yeah, it's dirty. Scraping blood and bodily fluids off the walls tends to be. Maybe I'll see some of you after you blow yourselves to bits with your damn fireworks, but here's a tip: don't do that.

I donated my heart to someone yesterday. I don't think anyone expected me to walk out of the operating room after. I'm very sorry to the nurse I startled.

So it would seem that in my Dreams my club is not only about flirting and entertaining customers, but we also work to help our customers when they are having issues with their significant other. It seems strange that one of the girls who apparently comes to see us often would have a fiancee when we are all in high school, but she does and he is apparently about to leave to study abroad for the semester. Of course we can’t let them part for such a long period with their relationship strained, so we come up with this plan to get them back together that involves dressing our newest Host up as a girl for the dance Kanako got Haruhi’s first kiss even though I tried to prevent it and he got to kiss the young lady in my place at the end of the night.

I was out today and came across a cute little corgi stuck in a hot car. I waited a few minutes to see if the owner would come out and when no one came around, I broke the window to get it out. The scum bag came running after I broke the window of his precious car, which he seemed to care about more than his dog. He said he was going to call the police despite the fact that it's legal for me to do that here and illegal for him to leave the dog in the car like that.

I'm not ashamed to say that I compelled him to forget how the window got broken and to never leave the dog in the car again. I was tempted to use his head to break one of the other window though.